


You Are Mine

by AnJoanGrey



Series: Together We Stand [1]
Category: Chekov - Fandom, Leonard McCoy - Fandom, Spock/McCoy - Fandom, Star Trek, Star Trek (2009), Star Trek: The Original Series, spock - Fandom
Genre: Dominant!Spock, First Time, Forced Bonding, From hate to love, If you are looking for porn - this is not the place, Love, M/M, Mind Meld, Non-Sexual Submission, Possesive Spock, Possessive and dominant means more than sex, Possessive!Spock, Spock - Freeform, Spock/McCoy - Freeform, Spones slash, Submission, bond, bondmates, dominant spock, spones - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-20 01:19:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 44,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3631263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnJoanGrey/pseuds/AnJoanGrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock grabbed him by his coat and pushed him into a wall.<br/>“You will calm yourself this instant. Furthermore, we shall assess the condition of our crew mates and treat those in critical condition. Then, we shall deal with the engines. Is that clear, Doctor?”<br/>“I…”<br/>“The next two words I want to hear are Yes, Commander”.<br/>“But…”<br/>Spock placed his hand on McCoy’s throat.<br/>“Yes, Commander.”</p><p>***</p><p>This is a story with pictures.<br/>I am putting a lot of effort and love in it.<br/>Please remember that Fan Fiction writers can only be rewarded by their readers' feedback, so be generous and drop a comment. It is greatly appreciated.<br/>Find me also on Facebook:<br/>https://www.facebook.com/pages/AnJoan-Grey/1396337104020854</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He was in command for the day, since Jim had beamed on to the Space Station to take care of a few diplomatic incidents. Most of the crew had also beamed down for a bit of relaxation since the ship was under maintenance. He looked impeccable as always – taking care of the bridge operations with his usual dexterity and precision. He gave short commands and everyone obeyed them. It was silence on the bridge and everyone was doing their job efficiently.

The doctor came to the bridge with several padds that needed the commanding officer’s approval.

“Hey, where’s Jim?”

“Good morning, Doctor” – Spock said with a rather harsh voice.

“Er, yeah, mornin’. So, where’s Jim?”

“The Captain is down on the planet, Doctor, where he will remain until tomorrow.”

“Oh, okay”, McCoy mumbled, he was not at all excited – it will be a long, hard, horrible day with the Vulcan in command.

“What is it that you came for, Doctor?”

McCoy approached him and gave him the padds.

“These.”

Spock looked at each of them with several minutes, before finally entering his authorization code on the numeric panel.

“Dismissed” – he then said to the Doctor.

“Gee, thanks.”

Spock turned his head briefly towards the Doctor and their eyes met.

McCoy wanted to add something but – he just could not look into Spock’s eyes for too long.

He felt his violent temper emerging – that green blooded bastard! – did he think he could treat him as a –

But he could not finish the thought – nor could he utter the insult that had already been forming into his mind – that a violent hit sent their ship spinning through space at high speed.

 

Darkness fell.

 

He did not know how long had it been – he just felt a powerful arm grabbing his and pulling him violently to the side – he opened his eyes in time to see a large metal conduit falling a few inches away.

He looked to see who had saved his life – and found himself in Spock’s arms.

“What the hell happened??”

“Several things, Doctor. Come on, on your feet. We are the only survivors on the bridge. We must assess – “

“Wait, waaait! Now tell me what the hell happened, you – you…”

Spock slapped his face hard.

“On your feet. Now.”

McCoy could not believe – did Spock just hit him? Anyways it had the effect of a sudden cold shower – jumped on his feet and looked around; everyone on the bridge was dead, though weak life signs were scattered throughout the ship.

“Report” – he asked.

“200 dead. 28 critical. About 100 with minor wounds.” – McCoy said promptly. We need urgent help!”

“We are five thousand light years away from the nearest station or inhabited planet.”

“Wait, what? Where the hell is the Space Station?” Are you going to tell me what hit us? Are we under attack? Dammit, man!”

“We were hit by a quantum filament and collapsed through the wormhole.”

“WHAT!!”

Spock grabbed him by his coat and pushed him into a wall.

“You will calm yourself this instant. Furthermore, we shall assess the condition of our crew mates and treat those in critical condition. Then, we shall deal with the engines. Is that clear, Doctor?”

“I…”

“The next two words I want to hear are _Yes, Commander”_.

“But…”

Spock placed his hand on McCoy’s throat.

“Yes, Commander.”

McCoy’s soul twisted – he felt an almost physical pain. He closed his eyes for a second.”

“Proceed.”

 

It was 40 hours later when McCoy collapsed against a wall to rest for a few minutes.

All the critical wounded were now stabilized.

Spock had worked with him silently all that time and McCoy had been particularly careful not to say anything else than names of medical instruments and substances.

He felt a presence close to him – raised his head – Spock was looking down at him.

“Go and sleep for a few hours, Doctor. I will wake you up.”

McCoy got up and took his coat – sleep sounded like a brilliant idea, but there were still so many wounded –

“Ah, the hell with sleep!” – he said and took a medical tricorder.

Spock grabbed his arm and dragged him to McCoy’s private office in the sick bay.

“Now what?”

“Is it THAT difficult to obey my orders – eventually without adding twenty other words?” – Spock asked with a calm, yet strict voice.

McCoy wanted to argue – but something made him stop. He looked into his eyes for a few seconds – those beautiful, powerful, overwhelming eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

Spock placed his fingers on McCoy’s forehead, in a forced mind meld – probing his thoughts and saw no dishonesty.

“On this couch. Lay down”

McCoy complied.

“Now sleep.”

Spock went towards the door.

“Sp… Commander.”

Spock turned towards him with a glacial look.

“Where are YOU going?”

“To engineering.”

He closed his eyes – exhaustion took its toll.

 

He felt a warm hand on his forehead – he opened his eyes.

“Feeling better”? – Spock asked.

“Myeah” – but then he saw a pale shadow passing through Spock’s golden eyes. “I mean… yes, Commander.”

“You are learning fast. Accompany me to the bridge.”

McCoy wanted to mumble furiously – but did not actually make a single sound. He went with Spock on the bridge which had been cleaned and made operational.

Spock sat on the captain’s chair and invited McCoy to sit on the chair next to him.

“How do you appreciate the crew’s health status, Doctor?”

“We have 128 people, except us. We are the only senior officers. About 50 are unable to work.”

“Our warp drive is not functional” – said Spock. “We only have impulse power. There is a Reman outpost twenty thousand kilometers off the starboard bow. We shall head that way and ask for help. We need find the wormhole in order to return.”

“Aren’t Remans dangerous?”

“They are. But there are no other options. We need to recrystallise the dilithium matrix in order to have warp capability.”

“Did you get some sleep?”

“No.”

“Then, Commander, i…er… respectfully suggest that you do.”

“We –“

“AS YOUR DOCTOR, - said McCoy while raising his voice a bit – I can relieve you of duty if you do not follow my medical advice. For all the rest you will have my total compliance.”

Spock wrapped his fingers slowly around McCoy’s wrist.

“Your _total compliance_ , doctor? Without any useless comments?”

“I won’t even breathe without your permission.”

Spock looked into his eyes for a few moments.

“I’ll go sleep in your office in sickbay. You have the bridge.”

“Aye, Commander” – he said, according to the regulations.

His heart was aching strongly.

He monitored his vital signs to make sure that the Vulcan actually went to sleep.

 

Spock lay down on the couch – he felt so tired. The Doctor was so difficult to cope with. Always asking questions, making comments, agitated and restless – the doctor –

 

**(to be continued if positive feedback [and by that I mean comments] is received from readers)**

 

 

_All pictures and characters are property of Paramount._

_Story by An Joan Grey_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “On your feet. Now.”  
> McCoy stood up and offered him the commanding chair with a large mocking gesture.  
> “If you please, Sir.”  
> “Thank you. You may go to sickbay and continue your work. You will rest from 01:00 to 05:00 while I have the night watch. The repairs to the main core shall be finalized by then and we shall proceed towards the Reman outpost.”  
> “Gee, I may go to sickbay, thanks.”  
> Spock turned his head towards him and looked deeply into his eyes.  
> “What happened to the ‘I will not even breathe without your permission’?”  
> “That was five hours ago.”

The Doctor was sitting in the command chair, carefully monitoring the activity in sick bay on a console and also the repair instructions left by Spock in engineering. The crewmen they were counting on were young – most of them in their twenties, inexperienced and scared to death. But they felt comfortable with McCoy on the bridge – he was someone like _them,_ a human being with a warm heart – even though with a bad temper – and not a senseless green-blooded robot. He was someone with feelings visible through those big blue eyes.

McCoy did not give orders; he asked people to do things nicely; he was like a brother to all of them. At times he would put one arm around someone’s shoulders; he would call them on their first names; he encouraged and helped them. Yes – they _loved_ McCoy, dammit.

It was new for the Doctor to be on that chair. He would have rather been in sickbay, taking care of the wounded, filling the reports that were long due and most of all – checking the supplies stock. What if they were stuck there for a long time? The return trip, without the wormhole shortcut, would have taken approximately 3 years.

What, three years with Spock in command?

That arrogant, annoying –

A firm hand on his right shoulder scared the hell out of McCoy.

“God-dammit!!! Don’t sneak – “

Spock raised an eyebrow.

“Mind your words, Doctor.”

“Well try and not give me a heart attack every time you come to the damn bridge!!”

“On your feet. Now.”

McCoy stood up and offered him the commanding chair with a large mocking gesture.

“If you please, Sir.”

“Thank you. You may go to sickbay and continue your work. You will rest from 01:00 to 05:00 while I have the night watch. The repairs to the main core shall be finalized by then and we shall proceed towards the Reman outpost.”

“Gee, I may go to sickbay, thanks.”

Spock turned his head towards him and looked deeply into his eyes.

“What happened to the ‘ _I will not even breathe without your permission’_?”

“That was five hours ago.”

“THAT will continue, Doctor” – he said in a low – but firm voice as several crewmen were already staring at them – nobody looking overly enthusiastic at the prospect of spending the next hours with Spock on the bridge.

“Or what.”

“Or – he said and stood up, looking straight into his eyes with a metallic, sharp look that went like a knife through McCoy’s mind – I will make your days, your hours, your minutes – a living hell.”

McCoy felt his heart aching strongly again, twisting under the pressure of an unknown, overwhelming feeling.

“You are doing a fine job already…”

They both remained quiet, looking at one another.

Deep within each of them, a strange longing, like homesickness – arose and started to grow.

McCoy’s mind was almost transparent to him – but what was that which he was feeling now? The Vulcan felt it like an echo throughout his entire being. What was it?

Spock raised his hand, to touch McCoy’s forehead in order to initiate the meld – he had to know what was going on.

McCoy took a step back.

“You will not touch me” – he said firmly. Even if you are in command – there are limits.”

“Leonard McCoy…” – Spock whispered in an almost bitter tone.

 _Engineering to Commander Spock_ – they suddenly heard through the communicator.

“Spock here.”

“Commander Spock, we require your assistance, Sir. Urgent.”

“I am on my way.”

He then looked at McCoy.

“You have the bridge.”

“Okay.”

“I did not hear you?”

“Geezus, yes, Commander, aye.”

Spock left.

McCoy retook the commanding chair; he was angry, angry, angry! He wished he could take the damn Starfleet protocol manual and hit Spock’s head with it until the arrogant green-blooded bastard lost consciousness!!

Instead – he took a padd mindlessly opened a few files – he needed to focus on something else than –

“Doctor!!” – said a young ensign, almost screaming – alien ship decloaking!!”

McCoy stood up.

“Calm down, kid, okay, it’ll be all right! Commander Spock, come back at once, we have company” – he announced through the comm.

“We are being hailed!“ – the young ensign’s voice was trembling hard.

“Easy now, everybody, be calm. Put it on the main screen.”

They saw Remans before but this one was particularly ugly. Yet he had a black pelerine and a scepter in his left hand which indicated a potential noble origin.

McCoy straightened his back.

“Greetings, Sir” – he said, looking serenely at the Reman with his blue eyes and trying to look as calm as possible – hoping and praying that Spock would hurry, damn him!

Spock was just entering the bridge – McCoy felt he was behind him, but did not turn – it may have offended the Reman who was watching attentively his every gesture.

“Greetings. You have trespassed on Reman territory. Who is the ship’s Master?”

McCoy froze. The ship’s _what_?

But his mind was racing as fast as his heart.

He turned and allowed Spock to step in front with an elegant gesture.

“The ship’s _Master_.”

Everyone on the bridge was barely breathing.

Spock greeted the Reman with a bow of his head that seemed almost aristocratic.

“Greetings, Sir. My name is Spock. Our ship has suffered engine failure and we are adrift. We apologize for the inconvenience and rest assured it was unintentional. May I know your name?

“I am AnJoan Grey. You, Sir, are a Vulcan.”

“Yes.”

“This is most convenient. It’s been long since I have seen one. Come aboard my ship for negotiations.”

“Er, I am sorry, Sir – McCoy intervened abruptly – the – the Master can not leave our ship under any circumstances, but – “

 _Doctor…_ \- he heard Spock’s voice in his mind all of a sudden, and the brutal blast of pain that accompanied the phenomenon nearly blew him off his feet.

“ – but I will come in his place.”

_What. Are you. Doing. Doctor._

McCoy ignored the foreign thoughts that were forming in his head and smiled towards the Reman.

“You have brave servants, Mr. Spock.”

“Indeed so.” – he said, trying hard not to turn towards McCoy and strangle him.

“Your name? – the Reman asked McCoy.

“Leonard McCoy. Chief Medical Officer.”

“A doctor! This pleases me. We are sending transport coordinates. You may say goodbye to your Master – after which we shall beam you up immediately. Do not turn your viewer off. I do not want any last minute conspiracies.

McCoy turned slowly towards Spock – the air between them seemed frozen. Spock’s lips were pale.

_Touch my hand, Doctor. It is necessary for the mindmeld to stabilize – so that we can communicate further._

McCoy took Spock’s hand and kissed it with an elegant gesture.

“Good bye, Master. I will see you soon.”

The Reman was observing carefully.

“Good manners – I appreciate this.” – he said. “Your servants are not only brave, but well educated. You will not attempt to contact your Doctor without my permission. I will talk to you again in five hours.”

 

McCoy was then taken aboard the Reman ship.

Spock felt something like a claw horribly clenching his soul. The Doctor was – he was –

 

 

_All pictures and the characters are property of Paramount._

**_Story by AnJoan Grey_ **

 

_Note to readers:_

_I'd appreciate feedback via comments. The chapters and the pictures (by the way , do you like them?) require extensive preparations and I do have a space station to run meanwhile._

_Chapter III coming soon._

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock’s eyes felt like two flames, burning, burning through his mind, trying to find a way, searching – it hurt, it hurt endlessly, stop, you will kill me, please stop
> 
> Spock placed his other hand on Doctor’s left cheek.
> 
> Do not fight me!
> 
> He mindlessly put his hands over Spock’s arms, as if he wanted to hold on to something. He had the feeling that Spock was the only person standing between him and the abyss.
> 
> Fear. Horror. The Remans – torture – death – oblivion –
> 
> Spock made the decision.
> 
> They will not hurt you. You are mine. Mine. Give me all your thoughts. Now.

AnJoan Grey invited McCoy to sit down on a chair and carefully placed a device on his head.

“Your Master trusts you with his life, Doctor. You must be valuable to him.”

“All life is valuable… Sir.”

“Spoken like a true doctor. Now, in order not to waste time, I shall probe your mind and see how I can use you. Do not attempt to shield your knowledge from me. It will result in the damaging of your brain and the obliteration of your crewmates.”

“Listen – listen to me! Before you turn that thing on. I will do anything you want – just fix their engine and let them go!”

“Perhaps I will do that. Now – hold still.”

The doctor closed his eyes – the pain was so sudden and so intense, that his breath stopped momentarily.

 

For the first time in his life, Spock was experiencing the horrible sensation that time had _slowed down_ ; each minute was practically dragging – and yet it was not logical, it was not possible, he was a Vulcan, time could not have been altered. A minute lasted 60 seconds.

_Doctor?_

_Arrrrrmghh – wwwwet cold – afffffraid, ugly, uglyugly long claws spockspockspock_

Whenever he tried to concentrate and make contact, he would get back a mumble of random thoughts and emotions wrapped in a thick layer of fear. It was impossible to get a _clear reading_ – the Doctor could not obviously concentrate and perceive the telepathic messages, or their connection was too fable. Why, oh why had he allowed him to go? Humans are such an easy prey when danger strikes – and the overly-emotional Doctor McCoy had no experience in handling situations such as the present one.

He should have gone in his place.

He had to admit it. The doctor had a quick and proper reaction to the Reman’s inquiry about “the ship’s master” and his ability to act normal, to pretend it was normal, to go along with the game – had probably saved all of their lives for the moment.

Pavel Chekov, the young Ensign now assigned to communications station, approached Spock.

“Sir?” – his voice was trembling hard.

“Yes, Ensign, what is it?”

“Will the Doctor be okay?”

“I do not know…” said Spock in an almost bitter tone.

“What if he dies – what are we going to do??”

“Under no circumstances will I allow such a thing to happen, Ensign. Now go back to your station and monitor the subspace frequencies.”

“Yes, Commander.”

The strict discipline had had a healthy effect upon all the young people on the bridge. It was not opposed to McCoy’s warmth and casualness; it was complementary.

“We are being hailed, Commander!!”

“On screen” – Spock said and to his own astonishment, his heart was racing. He breathed deeply a few times and stood up.

“Greetings again, Sir” – said the Reman in a polite, but ever so cold tone.

Spock said nothing – he felt as if his blood froze.

“I will return your doctor for an hour, for him to procure medical supplies. I am informing you that we are aware of his extraordinary medical capabilities and he offered his life to save yours. We have accepted. He is to stay here and heal our people, whereas we shall fix your engine and return you to the quadrant.”

Spock approached the view screen as if he wanted to step through it onto the enemy vessel.

“This is not an option I can accept.”

“No one has given you any options. I have _informed_ you. I am waiting for the doctor to return in one hour. Any delay will result in the destruction of your ship. Oh and by the way – I will be monitoring your discussions. I advise you, Mr. Spock – do not try anything you’ll grow to regret. Grey out.”

Spock got out of the chair and ran to the transporter room in time to see McCoy materializing on the platform.

He rushed to him -

“Doctor.”

“Good to see you again, Master.”

Spock looked at him attentively. McCoy showed him his right hand – he had a monitoring bracelet around his wrist – obviously their every step and every conversation were being carefully monitored.

Spock looked at the device; it was transmitting audio only. He felt relieved. He took McCoy’s arm and led him out of the transporter room through the empty corridors of their ship, to his private quarters. He closed the doors behind them and pushed McCoy against a wall.

He looked deeply into his eyes. He placed his right hand on the melding points on the Doctor’s face.

_Could you not hear me, Doctor?_

_I could – but from afar. When you are close it is easier. It hurts._

_We need to be able to communicate, Doctor. Concentrate. I need to know what is going on there!_

_I am so tired…_

_DOCTOR._

Spock’s eyes felt like two flames, burning, burning through his mind, trying to find a way, searching  – it hurt, it hurt endlessly, _stop, you will kill me, please stop_

Spock placed his other hand on Doctor’s left cheek.

_Do not fight me!_

He mindlessly put his hands over Spock’s arms, as if he wanted to hold on to something. He had the feeling that Spock was the only person standing between him and the abyss.

_Fear. Horror. The Remans – torture – death – oblivion –_

Spock made the decision.

_They will not hurt you. You are mine. Mine. Give me all your thoughts. Now._

McCoy took a deep breath – and then he felt it – it was overwhelming – their minds together, united, blended, their thoughts in union – he could read through Spock’s inner world as if it were a book opened in front of him – and Spock  through his – their minds were tied up by a _bond_ so tight, that nothing could undo it – _what have you done Spock_

Spock quickly gathered all the information he needed regarding the enemy ship.

_A bond exists between our minds now. It is indestructible._

_You must take these people out of here, Spock._

_We will – together._

_There is no way… AnJoan Grey –_

_Leonard McCoy. You belong to **me**._

He could not form another thought – he was just looking into the Vulcan’s powerful eyes; he loosened the grasp of his wrists and caressed them slowly all the way to Spock’s fingers; he felt somehow secure, safe and _at peace_.

“Doctor, accompany me to the supply room. I have replicated a full stock of medical supplies that are necessary for the treatment of the Phage. You will return to our _friend’s_ ship and you will treat his people.” – Spock was back in the _commanding officer_ mode.

Still, all the while to the supply room, he held McCoy’s arm tightly with his hand, as if he never wanted to let him go.

_Did they hurt you?_

_Yes – at the beginning. They probed my mind with a device –_

_Did they obtain what they wanted?_

_Medical information – yes, they did. That’s how they found out that I can treat the Phage. What must I do, Spock?_

_I will provide you with the necessary information in due time. The bond will keep your mind open and clear so that I can take what I need in order to action. I expect you to obey –_

_Spock..._

  _Yes, Doctor…?_

_I will. And if I never see you again – Spock – you must know –_

Spock stopped. He put both his hands on McCoy’s shoulders and turned him towards him.

_There is no **if** , Leonard. I will see you in one hour. _

The Doctor took the supplies and transmitted transport coordinates to the Remans.

He turned towards Spock.

“I hope to see you soon… Master.”

“Me too, Doctor.”

Spock looked deeply into the Doctor’s eyes.

McCoy took his right hand, slowly, with infinitely mild gestures, and kissed it gently.

_The Remans can’t see us, Doctor. They can only hear us. It was not necessary –_

_It was._

McCoy saw the supply box dematerializing and soon after he felt the transport beam taking him away.

Spock went back to the bridge. Each step was hurting.

Must be the exhaustion.

The quantity of mental energy required for him to initiate and stabilize the bond had been so large that he wanted to simply collapse on the corridor and sleep.

He could not afford the luxury.

He stepped into the first turbolift and rushed to engineering.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, Leonard, be calm.
> 
> Please stay with me, Spock.
> 
> I will never leave you.

The crewmen he had assigned to fix the engine core were young and inexperienced. The repairs were far from over. He had to rush them – or the Remans would kill Leonard McCoy. He was sure of that.

He reassigned activities and started the most difficult part of the repair process himself.

The Doctor looked around the Reman lab. It was eerily dark and the air was humid. He felt like in a prehistoric cave. Fear and horror started to creep on him again. He just wanted to get out of there – and there was no way out – he was trapped – trapped!!

Spock dropped the padd he was holding in his hand on the floor.

He was feeling all that the Doctor was feeling.

_Leonard!_

The Doctor felt a sudden shiver. The cloud of fear that had begun to obscure his thinking cleared. He regained control over the overwhelming river of emotions.

_Leonard. Answer me._

_Spock?..._

_Do not let them see your fear. You are strong. I am with you. I need more time to finish repairing the engine._

There was strength coming his way through the bond that Spock had created between their minds; there was force and – there was concern.

The Doctor finished arranging several supplies and instruments on the Lab table.

“Bring me a patient” – he told to the Reman. “I will begin synthesizing a serum.”

They brought him a very sick Reman. He was in such a poor condition that the Doctor felt a new wave of despair.

_No, Leonard, be calm._

_Please stay with me, Spock._

_I will never leave you._

 

Spock’s mind was brainstorming for technical solutions and strategies to get out of the situation. As he replaced the last defective circuits, the engines came back online. He took a bunch of padds, gave a few last indications and rushed to the bridge – where he had not left anyone in command.

_Leonard._

_Yes…_

_We have impulse power and 10 % phasers._

_No warp?_

_No._

_I have the vaccine formula. The patient is responding well to the treatment._

_Do not give them the formula._

_They will kill me, Spock!!_

_No, they will not. Nobody kills my Leonard. Let me know as soon as your patient is better._

“Ensign Chekov.”

“Sir?”

“Divert all available power to the phaser banks. Take it from all main systems except minimal life support and shields.”

“Aye, Sir…” – but instead of going, he was just looking at Spock.

“Well, what is it?”

“Are we going to leave the doctor – “

“No, we are not. Now go and do what I told you to.”

He then felt a sudden pain going throughout his mind like a knife – excruciating.

_Leonard!_

_I am not going to make it, Spock._

_What are they doing?_

_Probing my mind for the formula._

“Ensign Chekov, come here.”

“Yes, Commander?”

“Go to sickbay and bring me 3 ccs of cordrazine and 2 ccs of adrenalin. Hurry.”

“Right away, Sir.”

In a few minutes he was back.

“Now listen to me, Ensign. Monitor my vital signs on this prompter. If I am going into shock, inject the cordrazine into my carotid artery, which is located here.” – Spock showed him the exact place on his own neck. And should I lose consciousness, you will inject the adrenalin into my heart which is located here.”

“But Commander…”

“No further comments. We do not have much time.”

Spock gathered all his energy into a single point – and projected a protective shield straight into Leonard’s mind. It was so powerful that the Doctor felt all of a sudden that there was no way the Remans will ever be able to breach it.

_We are one, Leonard._

“Why do you resist, Doctor? It will be very painful. You’ve created the serum, I want it.”

“You did not assist my crew in repairing the engine as we discussed. You broke your part of the deal.”

“First – the formula, Doctor.”

“No. First, the warp engine”

“Do you have such little respect for your life and the lives of your master and crewmates?”

“Why, oh why, Mr. Grey, when we could have been friends and allies and assist each other – why do you prefer to threaten us?”

“Doctor… as yourself, there is nothing I would not do for my people. Now give me the vaccine or I will start shooting at your ship. Everyone will die and you will be the only one responsible.”

_Spock???_

_There is a console to your right. I need you to get to it and look at the display._

“Very well…” – said the Doctor and he never felt so sure of himself in his life. He was actually feeling Spock’s mind, his soul – supporting him, guiding him safely through a nightmare.

“Your cooperation pleases me. Now, the formula, Doctor.”

“I need a console to write everything down.”

“Over there” – Grey pointed.

The Doctor stood up while the guards were holding him at gunpoint.

He approached the console that Spock indicated, opened a padd and started writing the chemical formula in detail.

“Hurry!” – the Reman summoned him.

“Let me concentrate. Your Reman keyboard makes little sense to me!”

He turned his head imperceptibly to the right to look at the display Spock wanted to see: shield modulation specs.

_Good, Leonard. Very good._

Ensign Chekov injected the first shot of cordrazine into Spock’s neck.

Spock opened his eyes – he now knew the frequency of the Remans’ shield modulation. He adjusted his phaser banks in a concentrated burst.

_Leonard, I will open fire. I will beam you out of there before their ship explodes. You will have to trust me._

_I trust you with my life, Spock._

_So do I._

Spock knew that the next couple of seconds were going to be critical.

He had little time to worry.

He fired at the enemy ship – and their phasers penetrated the Reman shields, blowing their engine into pieces. He lowered their own shields for a few seconds and beamed Leonard aboard.

The enemy ship exploded; the blast sent the Enterprise spinning out of control through space.

“Go to transporter room… help Doctor McCoy…” – he said to Ensign Chekov as he drifted into unconsciousness.

Pavel Chekov was young – only 17 years old. He had been afraid and not even for a moment did he think they were going to get out of there alive. His degree in flight control was now useless as the ship was once again adrift. But watching his Commander doing what he’d just done – he felt a wave of admiration, respect and devotion towards him. Towards both of them in fact. He took Commander Spock out of the chair and lay him on the floor, then he carefully injected the adrenalin shot into his heart.

Spock regained consciousness with a sudden spasm.

“Leonard!”

“No, Sir, it’s me, Ensign Chekov.”

“I told you to – “

“I will go right away, Sir. My first duty is to you – you are the Captain of the ship.”

“Go! Now!!”

Chekov jumped to his feet and rushed to the transporter room where he found McCoy unconscious on the platform.

He had no idea what to do. He checked for the pulse and breath – both were present – and he seemed not to have any broken bones, but he could have had internal bleeding. All the medical personal on the ship were either dead or incapacitated.

“Chekov to Commander Spock.”

“Report.”

“The Doctor is unconscious. I do not know what to do.”

“Beam him directly to the bridge.”

He did so.

Spock gathered the little strength he had and placed his hands on Leonard’s face.

He plunged into his mind but there was barely any light there.

_Leonard, come back._

 “Will he die, Commander?”

Spock opened his eyes.

“Pavel Chekov… how old are you?”

“I am seventeen, Sir.”

“Sit on that chair. You have the command of the Enterprise until I regain consciousness again. Be calm and strong. You can do it.”

Chekov sat reluctantly on the Commanding chair.

Spock got up and placed his hand for a second on the Ensign’s face, on the meld points, transmitting bits of crammed technical information, engine and piloting specifications and a lot of confidence.

“What will you do, Commander?”

“I am going to bring Leonard back. Do not move us and do not attempt to wake any of us up.”

He took the Doctor in his arms and held him tight as if he wanted to have as much of the Doctor’s body in contact with his as possible. He projected himself entirely onto the Doctor’s being – feeling all the injuries, assessing them.

_Come back to me, Leonard._

He then induced a healing trance onto both of them, and the thick, warm blackness fell upon their minds.

 

Chekov felt overwhelmed by the events. He replicated a thick blanket and covered both of them with it – then he turned off all systems, except life support. He knew he had to wait.

 

_All pictures and characters are property of Paramount._

**_Story by AnJoan Grey_ **

_Next chapter shall be published on Monday afternoon._

_Feedback is greatly appreciated!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was dark and silent – and he hated it.
> 
> And he could hear Spock’s voice in his mind like an echo - I will never leave you.
> 
> They sounded right.

Spock opened his eyes after what seemed like an eternity. He felt weak and dizzy as it was normal after a healing trance. Leonard was in his arms, breathing calmly, deeply. He placed his hand over the Doctor’s face on the meld points – he was no longer in danger. However he had a broken hand and several other minor injuries. He looked deeper into his mind and borrowed the necessary medical knowledge to at least fix the broken hand.

Chekov came near him in a second.

“Commander, you arr awake, Sir!”

Spock stood up with some difficulty, trying not to move Leonard.

“What is our status, Mr. Chekov?”

“I turned off all systems except life support so zat we would not be wisible. I was waiting for you to wake up, Sir.”

“A very good solution, Mr. Chekov. Now I need you to help me get the Doctor to sickbay.”

“Yes Sir. I already brought a stretcher here.”

Spock was grateful for that. While young and inexperienced, Chekov was full of energy, good intentions and bright ideas.

They carried the Doctor to the sickbay and deposed him on a bed.

Spock got the osteo-regenerator and carefully placed it on the Doctor’s arm, activating the healing process.

“Zat’s impressive, Commander, I did not know you have a medical degree as well.”

“I do not…”

“Oh… then… wow!”

“Was there any sign of hostile activity while I was unconscious, Ensign?”

“No, Sir. I have scanned ze area but zere arr only debris floating around from the Reman ship. There waz no one else here Sir, except us and them. No actiwity at all in the sector.”

Chekov was nervous – he had never spoken so much with Commander Spock before. And when he was nervous his Russian accent was being more pronounced.

“Escape pods from the enemy ship?”

“I did not notice any, Commander. Will ze – “

“The Doctor will be alright but he needs rest.”

“So do you, Commander. If Captain Kirk was here he would tell you zat you look _like hell_ – no offense Commander.”

“There is no time to sleep now, Ensign. There is much to do.”

“But - “

“That’s enough, Mr. Chekov. I will require you to stay here and watch for the doctor, the osteo-regenerating process is complete. I will go assess the engine status.”

“Wery well, Commander”.

Arguing with Spock was useless.

Spock went to engineering and restored main power. They still had impulse engines but the matter-antimatter valve looked jammed. He had to override and reroute several processes in order to gain access to the delicate mechanism in the ship’s core. Hours and hours of work and if only Leonard was awake.

He dismissed everyone else from engineering – he would not have any other accidents. He took all the tools he needed and crawled into the Jeffrey’s tube to start rerouting the processes manually.

The fact that Leonard was unconscious was draining the life out of him.

 

It was four hours  later when Leonard opened his eyes and took a deep, spasmodic breath, scaring the hell out of Chekov.

But the kid was so happy that he threw his arms around him.

“Doctor, Doctor!! You are awake!!”

“Chekov… What the hell happened?”

He felt as if he had been shattered in a million pieces.

“Well ze ship exploded!”

“What?? Are you nuts? The Enterprise exploded??”

“No, ze other ship, you know, ze Reman ship exploded and Commander Spock beamed you up at ze last minute but zen we lost altitude control and we are adrift again, so you were unconscious and barely alive anyways, so Commander Spock said zat I –“

“Whoa slow down, kid!”

Chekov continued to explain, half in Russian, half in Standard English while he got out of the biobed and scanned himself with the medical tricorder.

Then he suddenly stopped. The bond –

The bond between him and Spock’s mind lit as if someone had just turned the lights on in a dark room. The emotion was so strong that he dropped the tricorder on the floor. Spock’s presence in his mind was overwhelming and he could not make any sense of it, too many thoughts at once, too many impressions and pieces of information, stop – stop!

Spock ran through the corridors and rushed into sickbay, slightly out of breath. He stopped and looked at the doctor.

“Mr. Chekov, go to the bridge, please. I will be there shortly.”

Chekov glared uncertainly at both of them.

“Now.” – Spock added.

Chekov left, somehow reluctantly.

“Doctor.”

“Commander. What is going on here?”

“You have been severely injured when I beamed you back from the Reman ship. I had to induce a healing trance onto both of us.”

McCoy quickly slipped into the _Doctor_ mode and scanned Spock with the medical tricorder.

“Wow you ARE exhausted.”

“I am quite alright, Doctor.”

“The hell you are.”

Spock came closer and placed his palms on McCoy’s forehead.

The link between their minds stabilized and the Doctor became aware of all the other events.

He looked deeply into Spock’s sharp, cold eyes.

Then, unexpectedly, he took his arm and led him into his office, where each of them had slept before the Reman attack.

“We have much to do… and much to discuss, Commander…” – the Doctor started in an unusually official tone. But right now you will lay down on this bed which is already familiar – and you will sleep. You are exhausted. Hell, you are beyond exhaustion, I can’t figure out how you’re still standing.”

“Doctor, may I remind you – “

“You do not HAVE to remind me, Spock! I know! I am completely aware of everything. Look – it’s just the three of us capable of thinking and acting on a ship full of teenagers! Not to mention that Chekov is _still_ a teenager. We have a duty to take them home safely. Now PLEASE. Sleep. Nothing will happen for 4 hours! Then we’ll both be okay and capable of making decisions. Think logically!”

“You speak too much, Doctor… Fine. I’ll sleep. You have the bridge…”

“Why thank you.”

The Doctor was right – Spock was beyond exhaustion. He lay down and fell asleep in a few seconds.

McCoy gazed at him for a while. The intensity of the link between their minds lowered.

He had to discuss with Spock about that link.

But right now they had other priorities. The ship’s status, the injured, the engines, their safe return to their own quadrant… They did not have a first officer, a pilot, a communications officer – hell, there were just the three of them. And Chekov was young.

He went to engineering; even though he did not have much technical knowledge, he could see that the impulse engine was operational and its careful restoration was clearly pointing out to the person who had fixed it. So, Spock had been quite busy; he had created that _link_ between them (or was it called _a bond_?) he had disabled a Reman ship – which was unheard of, by the way (yes, he had something to do with it too, but the hard part had been accomplished by Spock); afterwards, he had dragged him out of the coma; he had fixed his injured hand (how the hell did he even know how to operate an osteo-regen??) and he had fixed the engine twice; the green-blooded computer was as awesome as one could be.

He went to the bridge.

“Doctor?” – said Chekov with a smile.

“Go to bed, kiddo. I’ll have this watch.”

“Did ze Commander say – “

“He did, he did. He’s sleeping. Rest too. We have a lot to do afterwards.”

Chekov went off the bridge and McCoy sat on the commanding chair. There was no one else on the bridge.

It was dark and silent – and he hated it.

And he could hear Spock’s voice in his mind like an echo - _I will never leave you._

They sounded right, those words.

He tried to imagine arriving home and being transferred to another ship – and suddenly that thought caused him a sharp pain from head to toes and from one margin of the soul to another – and it was unbearable.

_All pictures and characters are property of Paramount._

**_Story by AnJoan Grey_ **

_(Yes, I'm still alive)_

 

_Next chapter: on Wednesday_

_Thanks everyone for the feedback and kudos._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And now… what are you going to do?”
> 
> “With?”
> 
> “With me. Or to me. You don’t even like me. What are you going to do to me with this… bond.”
> 
> “All that I want, Doctor.” – Spock said, while placing the Biemer forceps into McCoy’s hand.
> 
> “Really” – said McCoy with caution.
> 
> But his heart sank.

The Doctor did a complete list of all injured crew-members and talked to all those who were capable of talking. He made a list of medical priorities and was now waiting for Spock to wake up.

He was jumpy at the smallest sound. It was dark; the emergency lights were only functioning to 5 %. He could barely see the controls.

He tried to turn his attention to his own mind. Fatigue and worry were dominant.

And there was an open door somewhere – the _bond_. What had Spock done to him?

The _bond_ did not feel like a burden; it was silent now, and he was not perceiving much – just a sense of awareness, a quiet presence resting within himself.

Spock must still be asleep.

There was much to be analyzed about the bond. He had to ask Spock –

suddenly the _bond_ lit, like a bridge suddenly illuminated by the rising sun. He felt warmth and strength and a feeling of completion – and of invasion.

He was no longer alone in his own mind. He knew – he had awoken.

 

Spock had indeed woken up. He went straight to his quarters and took a shower and changed uniform. He felt Leonard somewhere on the ship, safe and healthy. That was his first priority. Enterprise was the second.

“Spock to Doctor McCoy.”

“McCoy here.”

“Status report.”

“Nothing’s changed. Medical reports waiting for you on the bridge, and I need your help. Bring Chekov along.”

Spock located Chekov in his quarters and went there. As the young man did not respond, he overrode the door control and entered. Chekov was on his bed, sound asleep, he had not even taken his boots of.

“Ensign. Wake up.”

Chekov did not even move.

Spock felt a wave of amusement; he placed his hand on Chekov’s forehead and sent a wave of awareness through his mind. He woke up all of a sudden as if someone poured cold water over him.

“Wat hapend! Wat hapend!”

“Easy now Ensign. Come on up. On the bridge in 10 minutes.”

“Aye, Commander.”

He really hated Spock.

No, he adored him.

Spock left to the bridge. As soon as he arrived close to the Doctor, he slowed down his pace. The Doctor stood up, watching him. He felt overwhelmed by his physical presence all of a sudden – too many impressions at once. He instinctively made two steps back.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Doctor, come here.”

“No, I can’t. It’s – it’s too strong!”

Spock went calmly towards him, while McCoy was walking backwards until he hit the view screen. He took his wrists firmly but not violently.

“Look at me.”

The Doctor closed his eyes.

“I said – look at me. Now.”

McCoy looked into his eyes, his heart was beating fast, the pulse accelerated and he almost could not breathe anymore. He was drowning in a torrent of impressions, emotions, thoughts, bits of information about millions of things, images and perceptions, all coming towards him at once.

Spock held his wrists with one hand while he placed the other on the meld points on the Doctor’s face. The torrent slowed down; the stormy sea became a calm lake.

“Turn it off…” he said

“I can not turn anything off, Doctor. You must adapt.”

“What the hell did you do to me??”

“Our minds are _bonded_ , Doctor. It can not be undone. However, I have severed the telepathic link for now until you –“

“Spock.  What did you – “

“WE shall not have this conversation now. We have more urgent matters to attend.”

That was true.

“I can’t concentrate while you are so close to me.”

“In time you will find that the opposite is true. Now I will let go of your hands and you will calm down. Chekov will arrive any moment now.”

“Okay, okay. Just – sit down – I’ll go a few feet away. Just to be able to concentrate.”

“Very well.”

Spock let his hands go.

Leonard felt relieved he was in control of his own mind again – and yet there was something that was missing. He could not pinpoint what it was.

 

Spock sat on the commanding chair and McCoy went to the science station which was a good 5 feet away. Chekov also came to the bridge.

“Commander, Doctor.”

“Hello Chekov – said the Doctor. Now hear this, people. We have two crewmen in need of immediate surgery. Ensign Michelle Simmons has a ruptured spleen and I do not have a lot of functional medical equipment in sickbay. I will have to perform classical 21st Century surgery and I will need Commander Spock to assist me. The other person has broken tibia but there are bone fragments in the muscle and I must remove them manually before using the osteo-regenerator.”

“Very well, Doctor, we shall proceed accordingly. After the medical emergencies are solved, our next priority is to plot a course towards the wormhole. Should we not find it, we’ll have to travel for 3 years on impulse power which is not possible with the only 3 of us in command and with barely any supplies.”

“The trip to ze wormhole takes 15 days on impulse, Commander” – said Chekov. I suggest zat I go to engineering and try to boost ze matter-antimatter – “

“No, Mr. Chekov. I have already tried that. The valve was jammed and I was barely capable of fixing it. We could try to reroute several processes through the main deflector dish but we still do not have dilithium crystals in order to achieve warp speed.”

“Ze Remans had ze possibility – what a pity.”

“Indeed. Now, Mr. Chekov, you have the next watch on the bridge while the Doctor and I deal with the medical emergencies.”

“Aye Commander.”

McCoy followed Spock into the turbolift. He tried to stay as far away from him as possible but he was still _receiving_ millions of pieces of impressions, although not at the previous high speed.

“Spock.”

Spock turned towards him, looking straight into the Doctor’s eyes.

“The… contact between us – “

“The _bond._ ” – the word was important.

“Right. When I was on the Reman ship it was not so powerful and I could concentrate.”

“We were not in the same room.”

“But how can **you** concentrate?”

“With difficulty, I must acknowledge – you are highly emotional.”

“Spock, I need to perform delicate surgery and I need you to help me, dammit! I can’t do it if all this... all these _things_ are floating into my brain.”

“I see.”

“You _see_?? So do something!”

“There is nothing to be done at this time. You must give yourself time to adapt.”

“Wait, so this is irreversible?”

“Yes.”

They arrived at sickbay and the Doctor prepared the operating room, beginning the delicate process of removing their first patient from stasis.

“Okay, okay, I will not think about this now. How did you know how to use the osteo-regenerator?”

“I borrowed the knowledge from your brain.”

“Can you borrow the rest of the medical knowledge?”

“That will be most efficient. But – the information transfer will work both ways.”

“I would only like to borrow your calm…”

Spock came closer to him and placed both his hands on MCCoy’s cheeks.

“My mind to your mind” – he said the ritual words and the Doctor was once again invaded by an overflowing river of information – everything from engine to navigation, to Vulcan meditation, to millions of other things that –

“Do not only receive. You must also give” – he heard Spock.

“I do not know how.”

“Concentrate. Think about your profession.”

He tried. As soon as he did that, he felt he was sharing them.

“Please stop” – he told Spock  and Spock ended the meld.

He took a deep breath.

“Alright, Commander… let’s do this. Scrub up.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means, sterilize your hands and get to the OR! Did you not borrow the McCoy linguistic bank from my brain during the meld?”

“Must have skipped it.”

 

Long hours in the OR – just the two of them. So close to each other.

McCoy was grafting a delicate knee ligament. Spock would hand him the proper instruments from the tray without the Doctor having at least once needed to ask for them. The work was smooth and McCoy felt calm and confident.

“I thought you could not turn the _bond_ off.”

“I can not.”

“But how come I can stand so close to you now?”

“You have adapted.”

“Are there any more surprises regarding this link?”

“Please use the proper word.”

“Why you green-blooded… okay, let me rephrase that. Are there any more surprises regarding this _bond_?”

“You’d be surprised.”

“I didn’t know you had a sense of humor.”

“I borrowed it from you.”

McCoy could not help but smile.

“However, Doctor, we have done too many mind-melds in a short period of time. It could damage your brain. We can do only one more – and I’d rather not.”

“Why not?”

“Because it will connect much more than our minds.”

“Yeah, well, let’s hope we won’t need any more mind melds. I hate them. Scissors. Please.”

Spock gave him the instrument.

“There’s no need to say _please_ in the current situation, Doctor.”

“Okay. Kerrison forceps.”                            

Spock was quick and precise. McCoy had never had a better assistant.

“So, after we’re done, I am likely to help you reroute antimatter conduits?”

“Yes.”

“How the hell will I do that?”

“In the same manner in which I am currently helping you graft that strip of pattelar tendon to replace the anterior cruciate ligament.”

“Riiight.”

They worked silently for a while.

“Spock.”

“Yes, Doctor?”

“Why did you connect our minds?”

“I have done so as the only logical step to save your life, the lives of the Enterprise crewmembers, the ship itself and my life.”

“And now… what are you going to do?”

“With?”

“ _With_ me. Or _to_ me. You don’t even like me. What are you going to do to me with this… _bond_.”

“All that I want, Doctor.” – Spock said, while placing the Biemer forceps into McCoy’s hand.

“Really” – said McCoy with caution.

But his heart sank.

 

_All pictures and characters are property of Paramount._

**_Story by AnJoan Grey_ **

_See you on Thursday_

_(Feedback is highly appreciated)_


	7. Chapter 7

The Doctor took off the medical cloth and the mask and threw them into the trash can.

He turned towards Spock who was doing the same thing, trying to untie the mask from behind his ears.

“Here, let me help you”, said McCoy and untied the knot himself. He touched Spock’s shoulders by mistake and felt an electric shiver throughout his own body.

“Ah dammit man! You’ve electrocuted me!”

“Have I?”

“What are you tryin’ to do, kill me?”

“You should not touch me.”

“What do you mean I should not touch you? I’ve touched you – or you’ve touched me several times already! During the mindmeld and all that!”

“Yes, Doctor, but you should not have any initiative. Come on. We’re going to Engineering.”

“Engineering”, he mumbled furiously and went after Spock, adding various other low-voice comments about his ears.

 

Once they got there, the Doctor forgot he was mad at Spock and went to the main console to run a diagnostic test; he knew where everything was as if he had worked all his life in engineering.

“There are three plasma conduits that are out of service. We shall have to reroute them through the theta-matrix compositor”, said Spock.

“Okay.”

“Stay here and assist me from the console. I shall climb to the D4 Jeffries tube and reroute them myself. I need you to divert the power immediately.”

“Oka – I mean wait a minute, the D4 is unstable, there was a power surge over there, you can’t go! I’ll go in your place.”

“Doctor…”

“Dammit man! You’re the captain of this bloody ship now! I can’t allow you to do that.”

“And I can’t risk you injuring your hands or even worse. Now we shall proceed as I have just - “

McCoy grabbed him by his shoulders as if he wanted to put some sense in him.

He felt nausea and dizziness right away, as well as the electric shocks going through his body as earlier. He ignored them.

“You – are – so stubborn – you green-blooded -”

Spock took his head into his hands with a sudden, brutal gesture.

McCoy felt the bond growing even stronger – and more painful. What was he even doing? Was he questioning Spock when he knew that the Vulcan was holding things together? His hazel eyes were passing through his mind like a dagger, like a flame burning, burning – stop –

“Are we finished?” – Spock asked him in a cold, merciless tone.

“Yes, yes.”

“I believe that the correct way of answering is _Yes, Commander.”_

“Yes, Commander”.

Spock let him go and took a bag of tools.

“I am going up to D4. Be ready.”

“Commander”, said the Doctor after a few seconds – and when Spock turned towards him, he added – “Be careful.”

The bond between them was no longer like a bridge of light – but like one of flames, consuming him.

He turned to his console and started working. He was punching the commands angrily.

“Damn stupid engine. The hell with the warp core! Warp is just stupid, failing when you need it most. The hell am I doing in engineering, rerouting conduits anyway? I’m a doctor, dammit. Not an engineer. And look at me talking all by myself. I think I need a doctor. Shit, the subspace resonator went offline. Spock, can you hear me?”

But his communicator did not seem to work either.

“Spock? Come in please. _Spock? Dammit.”_

He suddenly remembered that Spock had severed their telepathic link earlier. How could it be turned back on?

He concentrated and sent a feeling of worry through the burning bridge that was their bond.

He instantly felt Spock’s voice in his mind.

_Leonard. What is it?_

He felt a wave of calm and comfort.

_My communicator broke. The subspace resonator went offline. I think Chekov knows how to restart it. There’s little else we can do from here._

_I am coming down._

Strange – Leonard thought. He did not feel like “yelling” at Spock through the telepathic link. Maybe the green-blooded hobgoblin was less annoying when he did not speak. Or maybe they were communicating better this way, without the thick layers of protective irony and sarcasm. He smiled.

Spock came down. He looked tired. As soon as he came closer, Leonard felt another wave of calm, as if standing in bright sunlight.

“To the bridge” – Spock said, sharply – and the Doctor did not feel like arguing at that time.

Chekov stood up, gazing at Spock. He adored him – it was visible.

“Report.”

“No actiwity, Commander.”

“Do you know how to restart the subspace resonator?”

“Yes, from the dilithium crystal chamber.”

“Let’s go. I will come with you. Doctor, you have the bridge.”

“Aye, Commander” – he said almost whispering.

His heart felt warm.

Chekov crawled into a tight Jeffries Tube and arrived at the D8 jonction.

“Commander Spock. I can restart ze rezonetor from here Sir.”

“Very well.”

“You should not stay so close Sir. Zis iz a dangerous procedure.”

“Do not tell me what to do, Ensign. Proceed.”

Chekov worked on the mobile display for a few seconds and then opened a panel on the curved wall. He removed two conduits and reconnected them to different ports. The resonator restarted with a buzz – and then it suddenly overheated.

“Commander, look out!” – the young man yelled but it was too late: a sudden blast threw Spock onto a wall and then on the floor.

McCoy felt a sudden wave of panic and terror as the bond collapsed – he struggled to breathe for a second.

He tried his communicator – “Spock??” – but then he remembered it was broken.

_Spock!!!_

He felt blind.

He sprinted on the corridors back to engineering where Chekov was trying to revive an inert Spock lying on the hard floor.

He rushed to him.

“Now what the hell happened???”

“I told him, I told him! It was dangerous but he insisted to stay! Ze coolant conduit above him exploded!”

He took Spock in his arms.

“Transport us to sickbay immediately!”

Chekov rushed to the transporter and punched the command.

 

As soon as they arrived to Sickbay, McCoy deposed Spock on a bed, connected him to life support and cut his shirt, applying a healing gel over the 2nd degree burns. Then he started treating the minor injuries – metal pieces were scattered throughout his muscles. He took a clamp and started removing them. He worked quickly. He was upset.

And he felt as if life was draining out of him.

Chekov came to sickbay short after. He took a mask and stepped into the OR.

“Did you scrub?” – McCoy asked.

“Yes, Doctor. How iz ze Commander? Do you need help?”

“He’ll be fine. Go to the bridge. Make sure nothing else explodes! I fuckin’ hate this ship.”

“A-aye, ay’m going rright now.”

Two hours later, McCoy noticed that the bond was lightning up progressively. It actually felt like a sunrise. Spock regained consciousness. The first thing he saw – Leonard’s blue eyes.

“I hate to tell you this, Commander. But… I told you so!”

“Yes, you actually did.”

“Don’t EVER do that again.”

Spock looked deeply into his eyes.

“…because I’ll die or something.” – McCoy added.

Spock placed his hand over the Doctor’s.  

The contact was mild and brought comfort and peace to both of them.

“You need to rest.” – McCoy said gently.

“What are you going to do?”

“Stayin’ right here.”

 

 

 

 

_Pictures and characters are property of Paramount_

_**Story by AnJoan Grey** _

_More - on Saturday - if you still want it._

_Find me also on Facebook, we can discuss pictures._

_<https://www.facebook.com/pages/AnJoan-Grey/1396337104020854> _

 


	8. Chapter 8

Spock drifted in and out of consciousness for a couple of hours. McCoy stayed near him the whole time.

He leaned his head against the life support console and closed his eyes for a bit.

He was so tired.

Spock opened his eyes and looked at him for a while: _His Leonard._

Leonard felt his gaze through the _bond_ – or maybe it was just intuition.

He also opened his eyes.

They remained silent, words seemed useless in that perfect moment of peace. No thoughts, no turmoil, just the calm awareness of each other’s presence.

The sudden burst of the red alert alarm made McCoy nearly fall off the chair.

“Doctor, if you can hear me, pleez come to ze bridge Sir! Class D Reman war-bird approaching!”

“Dammit! I thought we were through with these bastards!”

“Go, Doctor” – said Spock. “I will dress up and be right over.”

McCoy was angry.

“Here, I brought you a new uniform”.

He then grabbed a bag full of med-tools and ran to the bridge.

Chekov stood up but McCoy put one hand on his shoulder.

“Sit down kid. Commander Spock will come soon. What the hell is that?”

“It is a Reman shuttlecraft, Doctor.”

“That big??”

“Yyyes – yesyes, a shuttlecraft.”

“Raise shields.”

McCoy could not actually believe that he had just said _Raise shields_. He was a doctor! Dammit.

“Raising shields.”

Spock finished dressing and went to the bridge. Chekov offered him the commanding chair, looking shyly at him.

“It’s good to see you, Commander.”

Spock had already started to assess the situation. He scanned the ship that was closing in to their position.

“Mr. Chekov, take the helm.”

Chekov went to the helm console and sat down.

“Doctor, go to the science station and perform biometric readings.”

McCoy did not object – not even mentally.

“Reading two life signs, Commander” – he announced. “One of them very faint.”

“Stand by phasers, Mr. Chekov.”

“They are hailing us.”

“On screen.”

The familiar image of a Reman soldier appeared on the display.

McCoy stood up – the image was making him sick – he felt he was going to throw up.

_Leonard, no one will hurt you._

“Enterprise” – said the Reman soldier. “Our shields are down and we do not have any defensive capabilities as you know by now.”

“What is it that you wish?” – Spock asked in a cold tone.

“Captain Spock. We are the only two survivors of our previous confrontation. I have my Emperor here in the shuttle with me. He is severely hurt and he will die without immediate medical attention. Please help us. I offer my life and my ship to you in return. I have also brought you dilithium crystals.”

“Your… Emperor?”

“An Joan Grey – our Emperor. Please – he MUST survive.”

“Why would I trust you after all that you have done?”

“Please, Captain. You were as ruthless as we were. Those are the times. Beam up the dilithium crystals now – that may prove my good faith.”

“Chekov?”

“Commander, he is telling the truth. He has a cargo full of dilithium crystals. I have received the transport coordinates.”

“Doctor, come here.”

The Doctor came near him.

“If we beam Grey in stasis in our Sickbay… what do you think you can do for him?”

“Depends what condition he is in… but Spock… I don’t wanna.”

“I will stay with you the whole time.”

“I don’t see how you can do that. There’s a warbird in front of us and Chekov is a great kid but he’s no captain. Your place is here.”

“Sir” – said the Reman on the view screen. “Do not concern yourselves with useless precautions. You can beam me up directly to a holding cell and I will set my ship to autodestruct. You will have no worries.”

“And once the…Emperor… is cured, I presume you shall want him released, so that he can continue tormenting other ships that would arrive at these coordinates.”

“He will never again be your enemy. And you may find that his friendship is most valuable.”

McCoy put a hand on Spock’s arm, slowly – he felt fear and horror at the mere thought of being in the physical presence of a Reman again.

Spock ended the communication.

“Can you or can you not treat this being?” – he asked McCoy.

“How the hell should I know from here?”

“Can you at least try?”

“I could. But I will not. For God’s sake Spock, the man tried to kill us! He tortured me, he threatened you and he wanted to blow the goddamn ship to pieces! I don’t care if he’s the emperor of the whole damn quadrant!”

“Doctor.”

“No.”

“Doctor, let me speak. I will not order you to treat him, and I will not force you to do it either, because I am well aware what you have been through. But I am asking you to think about it and try. We need the dilithium crystals and we need to get back home.”

“What about the impulse engine? I thought we had that?”

“The explosion that occurred after our attempt to restart the subspace resonator has damaged the engine beyond our current capability to repair it.”

“Just great.”

“What is it that you fear, Doctor?”

“I fear that this is a goddamn trap, that’s what I fear. And anyways. Do you have any idea how to install the dilithium crystals?”

“I do.”

“Wow. Alright. Just don’t leave me alone with that reptile. And remember - our equipment is still not functioning. So I'll still have to use the scalpels and all that ancient stuff. So I can't guarantee anything for the guy - his majesty or whatever.”

“We are fortunate that you can actually perform 21st Century surgery, Doctor."

"Yeah, I did that for my dissertation. But I need you in the OR."

"Of course, Doctor.”

 

McCoy dreaded to see AnJoan Grey again, even if on the operating table. He had always had a phobia for the beings with long claws and sharp teeth.

He scanned the Reman with the tricorder.

“Heart failure. He needs immediate surgery.”

And he proceeded, while fighting with his own nausea and terror.

_Spock. Can you still hear me._

_Yes, Leonard._

The Doctor raised his head and looked at the Vulcan. He could only see his eyes; the surgical mask was covering the other features.

“Do you require something, Doctor?”

_You are beautiful._

Spock was surprised to perceive that thought. It was the last thing he expected to “hear” from the Doctor.

He said nothing. He felt unsure, perhaps for the first time in his life. Perhaps – who knows –

“The aorta is shattered. I will need to graft at least half of it. There is no way I can save this man.”

“What would you need? Can’t you replicate the necessary fragment?“

“No. It’s the first time I see this race. Hell, his anatomy is a bit unclear, to say the least!”

“If I went to the brig and scanned the other Reman’s physiology, would that be helpful?”

“Good idea. Ask him if other arteries in their body can sustain the functions of the aorta. And if blood transfusions are possible.”

 

Spock went to the detention area.

“How is his Majesty?” – he asked, his eyes filled with hope.

“Not good. His aorta is damaged. Stand up so that I can perform scans of your anatomy for the doctor.”

The Reman complied immediately. He was young and healthy.

“What is the Emperor of Remus doing in this quadrant?”

“This is where he chose to live. We claimed this uncharted territory for ourselves, since you are well aware of the tensed situation between our people and the Romulans.

The neighboring planets Romulus and Remus were at war since forever.

“Indeed. What is your rank?”

“I am the Emperor’s Viceroy. My name is Sial.”

“Are blood transfusions possible between the members of your race?”

“No.”

Spock was scanning the configuration of his circulatory system.

Sial came closer to the force field and looked at Spock carefully.

“The Doctor requires an aorta for the graft, isn’t it?”

“That is correct.”

In a fraction of a second, the Reman pulled a thin knife from his boot and made a long, deep cut on his arm. Blood started flowing, the damage he had done to his veins was intentionally beyond repair.

Spock froze, not believing that such a thing was actually happening.

As the Reman was collapsing to the floor, Spock lowered the force field and took him in his arms.

“Now you’ll have a aorta but you must hurry. I will not be alive much longer.”

“Why – why did you do this? There were options…”

“There were no options. I love him – just as you love the doctor and would do anything for him. Is it not so?”

“It is.”

Spock rushed the Reman to sickbay and carefully placed him on the second table in the OR.

“Oh – my – God” – McCoy whispered as he ran a quick scan. “I can’t believe you could do that.”

“Do what, Doctor?”

“You actually – killed him so that I could have his aorta…”

Facing such an accusation, Spock felt a wave of pure pain going through every inch of his soul.

He could not even reply. He dropped the communicator from his hand.

He left the OR.

 

Leonard felt the _bond_ collapsing but ignored it. He looked at the dying Reman, who gently placed his clawed hand on the Doctor’s arm.

 

Spock arrived on the bridge. Everything inside him had frozen.

“Mr. Chekov, go assist the Doctor in the OR.”

“But Commander, I have no medical knowledge.”

“Now.”

Chekov looked at him with worried eyes. He stood up and left – there was something in the Vulcan’s eyes he had never seen before.

 

“Doctor… An Joan Grey is my god and the reason I live. I would do anything for my Emperor… Your Captain that has brought me here – he did not injure me. I have willingly chosen to end my own life. Please do not let it be in vain.”

 

McCoy felt the world spinning faster – _What have I done. I have accused Spock of murder._

_Spock… I… Spock, please come back._

 

Chekov entered the OR, reluctantly.

“Where – is – Commander – Spock.”

“On ze bridge. He sent me here to help you.”

“Do you have your communicator?”

“Yes, Doctor, but – “

“Put me through to him.”

Chekov approached the communicator to the Doctor’s mouth.

“Report” – said Spock, thinking it was Chekov who was calling.

“Commander, I am sorry. I did not know.” – said the Doctor. “Please return to the OR.”

Spock could not even speak anymore.

“Spock, please. Forgive me.”

No reaction.

“Spock. Please! I have two dying men in the OR. I can’t save either of them without you and all of this will have been useless. Please. Do it for the ship and for our return trip, if you don’t wanna do it for me.”

“Acknowledged. I am on my way.”

“Get out, kid” – he said to Chekov. “Prepare the dilithium crystals for installation.”

“Yes, Doctor. And you better fix what you did.”

He could not believe that Chekov had actually said that. But he was right.

“I’ll try.”

 

Spock rescrubbed and came to the OR. The young Reman had just died and McCoy was carefully cutting the necessary portion of his aorta for the graft.

The Emperor was connected to the bypass machine.

Leonard looked into Spock’s eyes.

“Forgive me…” he said.

But Spock did not respond. Instead, he started giving Leonard the instruments he needed.

They worked quietly.

Leonard looked deep within himself – the bond was dissolving with each passing second and the telepathic link was already gone.

He felt he was slowly sinking in a deep, dark, dirty water.

He felt he was going to die.

 

_All pictures and characters are property of Paramount._

_Story **by AnJoan Grey**_

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	9. Chapter 9

As soon as they’ve finished, Spock took off the surgical clothes and went to the bridge. He did not even look at the Doctor.

“Mr. Chekov.”

“Yes, Commander” – said the young man and stood up promptly.

“I will be in Engineering for the next 4 hours, after which you may go rest.”

“Yyyes, Commander. I hev prepared the crystals for the installation process.”

“Very well.”

Chekov looked at him, worried. Spock’s eyes were darker than the usual. Nothing else betrayed any emotion at all.

“Commander, may I tell you something, Sir?”

“You may.”

“I…”

Chekov blushed and looked downwards.

“Well? I am listening.”

“No, it’s nothing… I am just… nevermind, Commander.”

Spock hesitated for a second – then he went inside the turbolift and headed to engineering.

 

McCoy hooked the Reman to life support, then he carefully cleaned the OR.

He sat near him, monitoring various displays and taking notes of his anatomy. The long nails he had were rigid and sharp – no doubt the Remans used them as weapons.

He replaced his communicator and stared at it for a while.

Spock hadn’t said a single word to him, he had not even looked at him.

He had the horrible sensation that half of him was missing – half of his body; half o his soul. Everything inside him was hurting; his stomach, his heart, his hands, his head, and his soul was shattered to pieces.

“Doctor…” – he heard a deep voice near him.

He turned to look – the Reman had awoken.

“You must not move. Your condition is very serious.”

“Thank you for my life…”

“Don’t thank me. If I had any choice, you would be long dead.”

“I am aware of your feelings for me, Doctor. Where is your master?”

“He’s… um… I will call him.”

McCoy took the communicator.

“Sickbay to Commander Spock.”

A short silence.

“Report.”

The sound of his voice –

“Our guest has regained consciousness and requested to see you.”

“On my way.”

Spock arrived after a few minutes. McCoy felt again like drowning; he bowed his head when Spock passed by him and went to sterilize the surgical instruments, leaving the two alone.

“Your doctor has done an amazing job. He’s one of the finest; I knew that from the first time I saw him.”

“Why did you want to see me? I am busy.”

“I wanted to thank you.”

“There is no need. Do you require anything else?”

“What of my servant?”

“He took his own life. I could not prevent it. He did it so that you could have his aorta.”

The Reman said nothing – but Spock could feel his sadness.

They remained in silence for a moment.

“You are sick” – said the Reman.

Spock looked at him with weary eyes.

“I shall be in Engineering. Your dilithium crystals require careful installation. Should you require anything else, please ask the Doctor.”

Spock left.

McCoy returned to him.

“You too are sick…” – said the Reman.

“I’m fine”, the Doctor replied on his usual grumpy tone.

“You are a poor liar, Doctor. Now give me something to sleep – I need it, and you can forget about me for three hours. Go to him.”

“Go – to… ?”

“To him. It is you who must go and fix whatever it is that you did. I am no telepath, but I am not blind either. You will both die unless you repair the damage.”

“Damn you!” – he said angrily. “It is all because of you.”

He took a mild sedative and injected it into the Reman’s carotid artery.

“Computer, locate Commander Spock.”

“Commander Spock is in Engineering.”

 

Leonard looked around and saw Spock sitting on a rotating chair in front of a console.

He went to him.

“Spock.”

“What is it, Doctor?” – he asked him with the coldest, most expressionless voice.

“Please, let me talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Spock, I am sorry – I am so sorry. I’ve said the most stupid thing in the world to you. I have NO excuse.”

“That much is true.”

“Please – forgive me.”

“I can not. Now if you’ll excuse me – ”

“Spock, listen to me – ple – please…”

Leonard felt he could no longer stand and fell on his knees, grabbing Spock’s arms – again he felt the familiar dizziness because he was touching Spock without his permission – but he did not care.

“All this time, Spock, ever since the Narada and ever since we’ve met, in fact – we’ve been fighting and arguing and ignoring each other… and then we came here and you decided to tie our minds together – and I hated you for that. It felt like an abuse even if it saved our lives. I wanted to ask you to go see a healer from your planet after we get out of here – so that the bond could be undone. And now, when the bond is actually deteriorating with each passing second – because of me – I feel I am going to die, Spock! And even worse – I feel that you are going to die – and it is unbearable.”

Spock looked into his eyes for a while.

“What… are you doing on your knees, Doctor?”

McCoy seemed to realize just then that he was no longer standing – but it was unimportant.

“I am asking you to forgive me. And to remake the bond. Please. I will do anything –“

“Do not – say that. You have no idea what it means.”

“Perhaps I don’t. But I know that I can’t – and I don’t want – to live without the bond.”

Spock hesitatingly touched the Doctor’s face and placed his strong fingers on the meld points.

The contact was shallow, superficial.

“The bond will not deteriorate any more than this. But I can’t restore it to what it was now, Leonard. You will have to re-earn my trust and to prove to me that you will actually _do anything_.”

“I will.”

“Now stand up. I have work to do.”

“Can I help?”

“Did you leave Grey unattended?”

“He’s sleeping. The Computer will let me know when he’s awake.”

Spock removed his fingers from Leonard’s face.

They looked at each other for a few moments. The pain started to be bearable.

“Come on. Up.” – Spock’s voice was almost mild.

He stood up. Had he actually been on his knees in front of Spock?

He could feel the bond now slowly growing brighter – fragile but nevertheless existing, pulsating – and he thought it was all that mattered. A pale ray of sunshine in the midst of the darkest sky.

 

Pictures and characters are property of Paramount.

**Story by AnJoan Grey**

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	10. Chapter 10

“Initiate start-up sequence – now.” – said Spock after having placed the last crystal in place in the dilithium matrix.

“Initiating start-up sequence”, the Doctor acknowledged. They had been working in Engineering for nearly 4 hours and they still hadn’t managed to restart the engines.

Still no luck.

“Perhaps we should ask Grey…” – McCoy suggested.

“A logical idea.” – and he proceeded towards Sickbay.

The Doctor followed him. The pain was still persisting within himself and he was deeply immersed in thoughts. He looked at Spock walking on the long corridor, a few steps in front of him.

In a desperate attempt to save Enterprise and their lives, Spock had created a bond between their minds – and while it had supported him throughout the ordeal, while it had practically brought him back from the dead, Leonard had hated Spock for that. He was cold, calculated, ruthless; Spock’s presence into his mind had felt like a rape.

But then, after he had done the terrible mistake of accusing Spock of murder and the _bond_ collapsed (how is that even possible?) he felt that life was impossible, unbearable, un-live-able. The mental bond he was sharing with Spock (was it indeed only mental?) was as essential to his life as oxygen was. The bond was his atmosphere; the bond was the essence of himself. That Vulcan had his soul in chains.

But if the bond had a brightness and solidity that could vary between 1 and 100%, he felt that for the moment it only had 10%.

Back home on Earth, he’d often climbed the Mount McKinley but he never made it to the top. What use is there in beauty, if you can’t contemplate because you lack air? And now again, ever so close to the embodiment of beauty (because that nameless thing between him and Spock _was_ beauty itself), he had fallen from the peak into the abyss.

He felt very tired; climbing a mountain so high requires rest and –

“Doctor?”

“Yes, Commander…”

“Revive him.”

McCoy took a hypo and injected it into the Reman’s neck.

He did not feel the need to argue with Spock at all – which was unprecedented. He grabbed a tricorder and scanned the Reman who was slowly coming around.

“How do you think we should call him?” – he asked Spock.

“I believe that _Sir_ would suffice.”

The two men looked at each other for a few moments.

Then, McCoy’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest when the Reman placed his cold hand on his wrist.

He resisted the urge to pull himself away from the bed.

“How do you feel?”

“Better, thank you”.

“Sir – said Spock – we are unable to restart the engine with the dilithium crystals you have brought.”

“Have your chief engineer come here and I shall explain.”

“We do not have a chief engineer. We are alone.”

“Do you have warp core knowledge, any of you two?”

“Both of us.”

“Then you need to take me to Engineering.”

“That’s out of the question” – said McCoy. You’ve just undergone complex heart surgery. You can’t move for another 3 days.”

“Which of you is the telepath?”

“I am.” – said Spock.

“You will have to take the knowledge from my mind then – and share it with him. Two people are needed to restart a warp core, as you well know.”

Spock looked at the Doctor – he did not want to initiate another mind meld with him so soon but it looked like he had no choice.

McCoy felt his reluctance and it saddened him.

Spock carefully placed his hand on Grey’s face and dived into his mind.

It was a dark place – but he saw no dishonesty there and felt relieved by that. He extracted the technical information.

 _He loves you._ – he could hear the Reman’s thoughts.

_What?_

_The young Doctor loves you._

_He does not._

_Then you should look more carefully. But anyways… if you do not want him, I do._

Spock ended the meld abruptly and the Reman’s heart started racing, his vitals collapsing.

“Whoa, what the hell happened…” said McCoy and filled a syringe with cordrazine. He injected it into his venous system and the heart-rate started to stabilize.

The Reman was breathing heavily.

“Pride…” – he added when he finally could speak.

“Do not – challenge – me.” – said Spock in a bitter tone. “Stabilize and sedate him, Doctor, so that we can return to Engineering.”

“Go ahead if you want, Commander. I’ll join you as soon as – “

“I WILL NOT leave you alone with him.”

The Doctor looked at Spock with worried eyes. The Vulcan seemed to have regained his composure and usual strictness and was back into the _Commander_ mode. He wondered what did Spock see in the Reman’s mind that would provoke such a violent reaction.

“I didn’t know that a mind meld can be so dangerous.” – he said.

“It can.” – Spock replied, sharply.

As soon as Grey was again asleep, they returned to Engineering.

“So how are we going to do this?” – McCoy asked.

“Sit down.” – said Spock and pointed to a chair.

McCoy complied.

Spock came in front of him, his eyes colder than ever, and raised his chin with one finger.

“Any resistance from your part will result in me damaging your brain. The bond is too fragile.”

“So make it stronger.” – said Leonard.

“NO.”

“Please.”

“I can not.”

“Okay… okay Spock.”

Spock placed his fingers on his face and closed his eyes for a second.

Leonard’s mind was an ocean of sorrow – but was there any _love_? He did not see any. He pressed his fingers harder as if he wanted to pull his mind out. He was positive he was hurting him.

Leonard put his hand gently on Spock’s wrist, in a soft caress.

Spock opened his eyes.

“Transmitting technical information now.” – he announced.

The Doctor knew his brain would automatically store and sort the Reman knowledge of core warp core engineering. He relaxed while the subtle flow of information settled down.

He waited for Spock to end the meld. He wished it lasted a bit longer, though.

Spock also lingered with his fingers on his face – he slowly removed them after a few moments.

Leonard held his wrist tighter and turned his head towards it; he kissed it, barely touching his skin – like a butterfly on a flower – was it out of love? Out of devotion? Out of the overwhelming fear of losing Spock? He did not know – but Spock did not remove his hand, did not reject the gesture, just stood there, almost not breathing.

 

The Doctor stood up and went to the startup console where he began punching commands.

Spock went silently to the dilithium crystal chamber and changed the resonator frequency according to the Reman’s instructions.

“Standing by on start-up sequence at your command” – McCoy said.

“Now.”

The warp engine came online, their ship was once again _alive_ – and the Doctor felt that _so was he._

 

 

 

 

 

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**Story by AnJoan Grey**

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	11. Chapter 11

Back on the bridge, Chekov was overly enthusiastic that they had warp capability again. He stood up and offered the Commanding chair to Spock, waiting for his instructions.

“Gentlemen, we must be very careful now. Mr. Chekov, take the helm. Doctor – the navigation console, please.”

_The – what?_

He really had no navigation knowledge. He gave Spock a worried, reluctant look. Usually he would have asked him if he was out of his Vulcan mind.

“Now, Doctor…” – Spock added in a low voice.

“Hope you know what you’re doing, because I sure as hell don’t.”

He sat at the console.

Spock started transmitting coordinates to both consoles. He ran a final diagnostic on the engine.

“Course plotted for the wormhole.”- Chekov announced.

“Warp 2. Engage”, Spock said calmly.

The ship went to warp with a low-pitched buzz.

“ETA 10 minutes, Commander”.

“We shall have to navigate through the wormhole using the manual controls. No automation. AnJoan Grey advised that there is a considerable amount of debris and the risk of collision is high. We shall use the impulse engine inside the wormhole so that we can navigate through whatever we may encounter.“

McCoy thought this was dangerous. Chekov was actually terrified.

“I will calculate the trajectory and dictate coordinates myself. Mr. Chekov, you will be responsible with the adjustment of speed. Take into consideration that the objects we shall encounter may have different masses and densities. You need to compensate for the gravitational pull as well.”

“Yes, Commander…”

“You have done things far more difficult than this, Ensign. I have complete confidence in you.”

Chekov found that statement overwhelming.

“Th…hank you…”

 “Doctor, I need you to manipulate thrusters. You have the steadiest hands on this ship.”

“I will do my best, Commander.”

Spock came between the two consoles and punched a few commands on each, interlinking them.

“Arriving at wormhole entrance in 3… 2… 1.” – Chekov announced.

He was afraid.

But he did not want to disappoint Spock.

And neither did Leonard.

“Half impulse, Mr. Chekov.”

Chekov adjusted the speed and they entered the wormhole.

Spock came closer to Leonard’s console.

“Enter coordinates 3221 by 4359.”

The Doctor entered the required coordinates on the console and noticed he had solid knowledge of the controls.

“Adjust pitch angle – negative five degrees.”

Leonard fired thrusters to bring the ship in position, he was very tense.

“Talk, Doctor.” – required Spock.

“Pitch adjusted negative 5 degrees.”

And he knew that Spock had required him to talk not so much because they were following the standard bridge protocol – which required acknowledging each order – but because it would ease his tension.

“Full impulse, Mr. Chekov.”

“Full impulse. 17 minutes to the other end.”

“Massive object ahead!” – said the Doctor, trying to remain calm for the sake of that kid, while he was sure Spock was reading through him as in an open book.

“Distance?” – he required, calmly, and came closer to Leonard.

“Fifteen thousand meters.”

“Stand by to compensate for the object’s gravitational pull, Mr. Chekov.”

“Yes, Commander. Standing by.”

“Full axis rotation to port, Doctor.”

“Full axis – “ he started to speak, it was a very difficult maneuver. His heart was racing.

Spock came closer and placed his hand on Leonard’s left shoulder.

“…rotation.”

Chekov coordinated with him and they avoided the collision by roughly five hundred meters.

“Come about starboard 90 degrees.”

Spock’s hand on his shoulder –

– felt right – organic –

“Coming about.”

He started to relax. He had gotten used to the controls and knew nothing could go wrong.

“Reduce to one quarter impulse, Mr. Chekov.”

“Aye Commander, one quarter impulse.”

“Doctor, enter coordinates 3221 by 4382.”

“Coordinates entered. Large field of asteroid fragments straight ahead. Distance fifteen kilometers.”

“Ensign Chekov, adjust speed to one half meter per second.”

“Zat iz very slow, Commander.”

“I am aware of that, Ensign. Proceed. Doctor, fire port thrusters for 5 seconds.”

“Port thrusters fired.”

“Velocity zero, Mr. Chekov.”

“Aye…”

“3221 by 4390, Doctor.”

“Coordinates entered.”

“Fire starboard thrusters for 8 seconds.”

“Firing starboard thrusters.”

“2 kilometers to the exit, no more debris ahead, Commander” – announced Chekov.

“One quarter impulse, Mr. Chekov.”

The ship vibrated as it exited the wormhole and the familiar view of their quadrant appeared on the view screen. There they were – everything in the right place, the constellations, the nebulae, the gas formations, and their own Starbase 6 – a few light years away.

“Contact Starfleet, Mr. Chekov.”

McCoy smiled – they’d made it, they were home.

He put his hand over Spock’s – which was still on his shoulder, and looked up to him with shining eyes.

Spock gazed into his eyes for a few seconds.

The _bond_ became brighter, warmer, he could feel that Spock was… content.

Spock removed his hand and straightened his posture as Jim Kirk’s image appeared on the view screen.

“Commander Spock!!”

“Captain.”

“What the hell happened? We have been looking for you everywhere for the past four days! The Enterprise simply vaporized!”

“I have a full report for you, Captain. We are well and heading to Starbase 6. Are you there?”

“Yes, we are waiting for you! The Stargazer and the Defiant are on their way to your location to escort you! Are there a lot of casualties? Where’s Bones!? Is he alright?”

“I’m alright, Jim.”

“Bones, am I hallucinating or you’re at the navigation console??”

“Quite so, Jim.”

“I’m definitely hallucinating.”

“Casualty report sent, Captain” – Spock added. “We also have a special passenger. He is under the care of Dr. McCoy and he has undergone a difficult surgical procedure. He is Reman. I advise the presence of a full security team and ambassadorial quarters on the Station.”

“Reman? Who the hell is he?”

“His name is AnJoan Grey. He is their – Emperor.”

“W-what? Okay, okay… we’ll see when you get here guys. I am SO happy to see you!”

Jim was being excessively emotional, as usual.

Hell, he was happy! His friends were okay, the ship was in one piece.

Bones seemed a bit silent though. And what the hell was he doing at the navigation station? Bones had always been blissfully ignorant of anything that did not mean medicine. He and Spock must have argued all the time. Juicy stories ahead!

“Gentlemen, we are safely home now. You have performed well, both of you. I have sent a full report of our activities to the Captain.”

Chekov gave him a shy look.

“It waz… you were fantastic, Commander.”

“Thank you, Ensign. I think we were all… efficient.”

“I…”

Spock waited; Chekov was having difficulty expressing whatever that was.

“Yes?”

“No, nothing.”

McCoy smiled – he was no telepath but it was obvious what the young man was trying to say – and couldn’t.

“I’ll go check on Grey” – he said and stood up.

Spock stiffened and his eyes became darker.

_Leonard –_

The Doctor felt dizzy all of a sudden – the telepathic link had been abruptly reconnected.

_I will wait for you outside Sickbay. Talk to Chekov. He needs you._

_You will not go to Grey alone._

_I will not._

They were alone on the bridge now – Spock and Chekov.

Spock went near him and Chekov felt his hands were trembling.

“Ensign, you have been trying to tell me something for a while now.”

“Yes – no, Commander.”

“Will you allow me…?” – Spock asked and reached out his hand towards the young man’s face.

“I do not have a choice, yes? No?”

“You have the choice to say yes, or no, Mr. Chekov – preferably not both.”

“Then yes.”

Spock placed his fingers on the meld points.

Suddenly he found himself in the center of a bright, brilliant and extremely chaotic mind, which was overwhelmed by a huge feeling – Chekov simply adored Spock; he saw in him a father, a mentor, a teacher, someone who gave him everything he had been longing for: confidence, strength, strong will, the desire to be better, to perfect himself, to evolve.

“Thank you”, said Spock, almost whispering. “I am…” – he hesitated, thinking of a proper term – “proud of you.”

Chekov blushed violently.

Spock broke the meld carefully.

“I must go help the doctor now. You have the conn – coordinate the docking maneuvers once we arrive at the Space Station.”

“Me??”

The Docking maneuvers – highly complex and difficult – were generally coordinated by the most experienced officer of the ship.

“Is there a problem?”

Spock was almost smiling. He pointed to the commanding chair and went to sickbay.

 

The Doctor had not entered.

“Spock…”

Spock stopped in front of him.

His eyes were bright, powerful.

“Thank you for reconnecting the telepathic link.”

Spock said nothing; he was looking into his eyes, deeply.

“What will we do now?”

“We will go see Grey.”

“No, I mean… when can we talk? You know… about the _bond_ and about what happened.”

“I need time to meditate upon.”

“Okay…”

“And Doctor… This is between you and me. I expect you to refrain from discussing this with the Captain or anyone else.”

“What other things do you expect from me?”

Leonard’s eyes were warm, vulnerable.

“Only one more thing for now… not to be alone with Grey in the same room.”

“Okay.”

Spock was surprised at the Doctor’s compliance. One week ago they were arguing until exhaustion.

“Oh, we’ll still argue”, smiled the Doctor, as he had heard the echo of Spock’s thought in his mind. “Some things never change.”

He entered the access code on the numeric display outside sickbay and the doors opened. They went inside.

“So, did Chekov tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“That he loves you.”

“He actually did.”

“That’s one brave kid, I am proud of him.”

Grey was still unconscious. Leonard sat on a biobed and invited Spock to stay near him.

Spock came and sat down, placing his hand on Leonard’s.

“Spock.”

“Yes.”

“Have you forgiven me?”

“I have.”

“And will you… remake the _bond_? As it was?”

“I will.”

Leonard smiled – and knew he did not have to ask any more questions.

A discrete nudge let them know that their starship had docked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pictures and characters by Paramount

**Story by AnJoan Grey**

A fan fiction writer's only reward is the feedback from the readers. So be generous and drop a comment - tell me if you want more. It really means a lot.

Next chapter - roughly on Tuesday. 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you still like this story, people? Do you still want chapters?  
> You know that comments are the only reward we get for Fan Fiction... so be generous and talk to me.

McCoy gave extensive indications to the medical teams that had come to take AnJoan Grey. All the while, Spock stayed nearby, glaring down on the sick Reman emperor.

They got off the ship together with the rest of the crew, to be greeted by an extremely enthusiastic Jim Kirk.

“Spock! Bones!”

“Captain,” – Spock acknowledged in a calm voice, his eyes impenetrable. “I presume you have read my report.”

“Yeah, forget about that, there’s a meeting in Operations Center in 4 hours, we’ll discuss then. How about lunch? Bonesy, you look exhausted!”

“I _am_ exhausted.”

“Ah come on, I want to talk to you guys! Let’s go.”

Jim dragged both of them to lunch, regardless of the fact that McCoy could hardly keep his eyes open.

“…when we realized that the Enterprise could not have exploded because there wasn’t even residual energy…”

Jim was talking and talking. All that young energy, the joy of having his ship back, his friends in one piece…

All the Doctor wanted was to sleep and forget about everything for a while.

Jim put an arm around McCoy’s shoulders.

Spock’s eyes became darker.

“Bones! So how did you two get along?”

“Huh?”

“You know? You and Commander Spock?”

McCoy felt Spock become more tense near him.

“What about me and Commander Spock?”

“Have you been listening to what we were talking?”

“Not much”, he admitted, and Jim burst out laughing.

“You are as adorable as ever. I really missed you guys. And I was worried sick. Chekov!” – Jim yelled – “Come sit down with us!”

Chekov was carrying a bowl of salad and looked into Spock’s eyes, waiting for his permission – which Spock granted with an almost imperceptible nod.

“I don’t want to distwurb…”

“You don’t distwurb” – Jim laughed. “So, I’ve heard that you did extremely well during those 4 days.”

“I did? I mean… thank you, Keptin!”

He was playing with his fork in the salad bowl, Spock’s presence so close was overwhelming to him.

As Jim’s attention drifted back to McCoy, Spock shifted his gaze upon the young Ensign.

“Eat, Mr. Chekov.”

Chekov looked for a few seconds into his eyes – ever so steady and powerful, and started eating. Spock’s attention was the greatest reward he could ever dream of.

“What time was that meeting in Operations Center?” – the Doctor asked.

“Eighteen hundred.”

“I’ll see you then – I’m beat. I need to sleep a bit.”

“Okay, Bones. You sure you’re all right?”

“I’m just tired, that’s all. Talk later. Commander –“ he said, politely, towards Spock, and then he left to the guest quarters.

The _bond_ was there, steady and luminous, although still fragile; a delicate flower. He could feel Spock’s state of mind – somewhat worried – and physical condition – exhaustion, as himself; he wanted to think about everything, to think about the _bond_ , about the telepathic link, about what was happening to him, about all that had already happened; about what was to come. He wanted to think, but later, much later, now all he wanted was to lay down and close his eyes.

He entered his quarters, on the lower second ring of the space station; he set the computer to wake him up in 3 hours, took a shower and lay on the bed, looking into the ceiling.

Spock was still at the restaurant with Jim, so they were separated by eleven decks. They had never been so far from one another since the _bond_ , it felt strange – and painful. He felt Spock’s _inner eyes_ following him, watching him somehow.

_Spock?_

_Leonard._

That short mental dialogue was like a warm breeze that wrapped his entire being. His name, Spock was calling him on his name – _Leonard_ – no one else was doing that. He was either _Doctor_ , or _Bones_ , but never ever – _Leonard_.

He tried to refrain from other mental comments. Spock was probably still eating and enjoying the conversation with his Captain and best friend, Jim.

He closed his eyes.

All he could think of was Spock – the being he had despised and even hated more than anything and anyone, ever since the day they met on the Enterprise bridge. Was it the _bond_ that was projecting all this insatiable desire to think about him? Or was it simply an emotion that he had carefully buried under thick layers of sarcasm and despise, an emotion that was now surfacing and was wrapping his soul so tight that he almost could not breathe?

Sleep wouldn’t come – he was nauseous because of the fatigue.

Leonard realized that ever since the _bond_ they had always been pretty much in the same room, either on Sickbay, or in Engineering, or on the Bridge. He had the distinct feeling that something was missing from within himself, something that was essential for life to continue. He didn’t know what in the world had the hobgoblin done, but being 11 decks apart from him was unbearable.

 

Spock had finished eating.

“If you’ll excuse me, gentlemen.”

He went to a terminal.

“Computer, location of Doctor Leonard McCoy.”

“Doctor Leonard McCoy is on Deck 2, suite no. 662.”

Spock took the turbolift, arrived at the Doctor’s quarters and, after a short moment of hesitation, he pressed the door chime to announce his presence.

“Not now, Jim”, mumbled McCoy, half mad with exhaustion.

The door chirped again.

_Open the door, Leonard._

The Doctor jumped out of bed, his heart racing.

“Enter…”

Spock entered, his eyes were dark.

“Something happened, Commander?”

“Yes. Pick up your things and come with me.”

“Where?”

“To my quarters.”

“What for?”

“So that we can rest.”

“Wh-what?”

“Doctor… I am tired. You are beyond tired. We need to be in the same room.”

“Why?”

“I see that we do not understand each other at all. I will leave.”

Spock went to the door.

“No, no, Spock, wait!”

He grabbed his medical bag and followed him to his quarters.

Spock locked the door.

“Lay down on the bed and sleep.”

Leonard fought the urge to add twenty other things. He lay on one side with an arm under his head and fell asleep in a second.

 

Spock made sure the Doctor was deeply asleep; he went to the computer terminal and called his Father.

 

When he opened his eyes, it was almost five. Spock was cuddled in the corner of the couch, far from him, covered with a thick blanket – yes, of course, the temperature was too low for a Vulcan. He seemed asleep but as soon as Leonard started watching him, he opened his eyes.

They looked at each other for a short while. The bond glittered in the background of their minds, its light soft as that of the sun setting.

Leonard got out of the bed.

“Can I come near you?”

“Come.”

He sat near Spock.

“You are cold.”

“…and tired.”

“Computer, increase temperature by 7 degrees Celsius.”

The Doctor cuddled comfortably on the couch, looking at him.

“We need to talk, Doctor.”

“I know. We also need to go to that damn meeting.”

“I have talked to my Father. We must go to New Vulcan as soon as possible.”

“Why?”

“Because both our lives are in danger.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“The bond between us is a very rare one. Should it collapse again, we shall both die. We need a Vulcan healer as soon as possible.”

“But you said you would remake it. Why should it collapse?”

“I know what I have said. But given the circumstances, I would rather not.”

“Why not? Oh hell, look at me – this must have become my favorite word, _Why._ So yeah, here I go again. **Why**?”

“Because I would risk damaging your mind beyond repair.”

“…so, you wanna go to New Vulcan and dissolve the - the...”

“I am not sure what will happen once we get there. We must obtain a leave from the Captain.”

“Oh, great. So, what are we going to tell Jim?”

“Preferably not very much…”

“Spock, damn it! Will you just tell me what is going on??”

“Doctor, I am sure of only a few things. First, we must get to New Vulcan as soon as possible. Second, we must stay together at all costs. Third…”

Spock paused.

“Yeah? Third?”

“You must do everything I say, without any comments.”

Leonard remained silent for a while, looking into Spock’s eyes. He should have been shocked by that statement. Should – have. He was not.

“I am not so sure I can deal with the last part of that. Hell, without any comments? I’m Leonard McCoy!”

Spock _almost_ smiled. Then he took his hand out of the blanket and placed it over Leonard’s, slowly wrapping his fingers around his delicate wrist.

“Yes, this is true. Let me rephrase it: without any _resistance_. Because no matter what you say and do - I will know what the truth is."

“Oh.”

Leonard gazed quietly at Spock’s strong hand.

“So, practically… what you require is my submission.”

“Not only that I require it, Doctor, but I already have it.”

That statement made Leonard dizzy as a violent emotion went from one margin of his soul to another.

He could not argue with that – at least not when he looked back to the past four days on the Enterprise. And it did not feel wrong.

“We must go to the meeting, now.”

McCoy got up, washed his face and took his ever-present medical bag.

They proceeded towards the meeting.

“How are we going to explain to Jim that we are going to New Vulcan together? The entire ship will start to gossip about God-knows-what!”

“That, I do not know.”

“Yeah, don’t tell me – Vulcans do not lie.”

“They do not.”

“So, we are going to tell him that we – that **you** tied our minds together and now we need some healer?”

“That is essentially the truth. I have documented the professional aspect of all our mind melds in my report to the Captain.”

“Oh so there was also a non-professional aspect?”

“Leonard…”

“Yeah, okay” – the Doctor smiled. “And that’s also why we must sleep in the same room? How do you think that Jim will integrate **that**?”

“Perhaps we can avoid the disclosure of this particular piece of information.”

“Spock, he needs only to ask the computer for the location of one of us.”

“We shall deal with this at the proper moment, then.”

“Oh, what has my life become.”

 

But his heart was warm and Spock was right. He did not mind submitting to whatever the Vulcan wanted. He never did. Not even when he called him a green-blooded hobgoblin (which was still an accurate description).

Their bond - a delicate flower - 

 

_Pictures and characters are property of Paramount_

_Story by **AnJoan Grey**_

_Facebook:_

_https://www.facebook.com/pages/AnJoan-Grey/1396337104020854_

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few words from you, people who read, would be a great reward for me.

They were the last to arrive at the Starfleet meeting. The entire Starfleet board was there, plus the senior crew of the Enterprise and the Space station’s CMO John Travis (that greatly despised Leonard McCoy). Admiral Charles Whatley and Captain James Kirk were presiding.

Spock sat down near Jim, and Leonard went to his appointed seat across the room, 82 feet away from Spock. That was rather far, he thought. Plus, he was sitting near Droctor Travis and **that** was annoying the hell out of McCoy.

“You call that surgery?” – Travis whispered to him.

“What the hell do you mean?”

“That… thing which you did to the Reman Emperor. That was no surgery, that was a butcher’s work!”

“Oh yeah?”

McCoy felt the anger starting to build.

“Luckily for you I was able to fix what you did – in time!”

“What. Did you do. To my patient.”

“I removed the plastic cylinders you placed into the aorta, how could you even do such a thing??”

“Are you out of your fucking mind?? Those were stents, you moron!! I grafted 4 and a half inches of aortic tissue! From another Reman!!”

_Leonard, what is it?_

“Gentlemen” – said the Admiral, and he stood up. “The Enterprise has just returned from its accidental 4-day trip in the Gamma Quadrant. While we deeply regret the loss of so many lives, I must inform you that they were due **only** to the violent blast of the quantum filament upon the ship. Thanks to the exceptional command decisions and action plan implemented by Commander Spock and Doctor Leonard McCoy, no other lives were lost from the moment the ship’s engines stopped, after their passage through the wormhole.”

“…you actually connected him to a rudimentary by-pass machine!”

“It’s your brain which is rudimentary!”

“Doctors Travis and McCoy, is there a problem?” – Kirk asked. He really did not want the meeting spoiled.

McCoy gave him a criminal look.

Spock turned his chair towards them, looking attentively at the Doctor.

_Leonard, be silent. Whatever is going on, it can wait until the meeting is over._

“…no, no problem at all, my apologies, Captain.”

He turned his attention towards the display in front of him. He was upset.

The Admiral continued to praise their actions aboard the ship.

“…furthermore, this unfortunate incident has led us to the discovery of the first stable wormhole between our Quadrant and the Gamma Quadrant, which may very well be one of the most important accomplishments of the last 100 years. However, it was stabilized by artificial means by the Reman Emperor and he claimed this passage as his.”

“Which means” – Kirk continued – that the safety of the Reman Emperor is our main priority. He already assured us he will negotiate a cease fire between Romulus and the Federation – we shall take him to Romulus as soon as he is well enough to travel. Dr. McCoy, what is your opinion on his current status?”

“Well, Captain, I understand that he is no longer my patient, plus I haven’t seen him in the last 6 hours. I believe that Doctor Travis here has more details.”

If looks could kill, then Leonard would have just shot down half of the people in that meeting.  Starting with Travis.

“Doctor Travis?” – the Admiral asked.

Travis stood up and started to describe the completely unorthodox surgery performed by Dr. McCoy on the Reman Emperor – that not only had endangered Grey’s life, but also proved that McCoy was incapable of continuing to practice medicine aboard a Starship – or anywhere else, for that matter.

“…and therefore as Chief Medical Officer of the Starbase and Head of Medical Board of Starfleet, I am relieving Doctor McCoy of duty on the basis of unprofessional treatment of a patient.”

_Not a **single** word, Leonard._

“I object to that” – said Spock and he stood up.

“I do not think you are in position to object, Commander Spock; in medical matters I outrank you.”

“However, Doctor, you were not present on the Enterprise, while I was the whole time. I could observe and assist Doctor McCoy whose professionalism is **unmatched** in the entire Starfleet. I am sure that you have read my report before interfering with the Emperor’s treatment, Dr. Travis?”

“Listen, I don’t have time to – “

“Have you, or have you not?”

Travis looked embarrassed.

“Answer the Commander’s question”, the Admiral required.

“I didn’t have time to read reports, I had to save the Emperor’s life.”

“Did his condition deteriorate in the last 6 hours?”

“His condition was far more severe than – “

“You will answer by yes or no, Dr. Travis. Did his condition deteriorate?”

“No.”

“Then why did you perform surgery on a patient whose condition was stable?”

Rumor passed through the conference room.

“He had plastic cylinders in his aorta! This is outrageous!”

“Were you aware that we had experienced complete engine failure and no instruments were functioning in sickbay?”

“No. Listen – ”

“ **Were you aware** that Dr. McCoy performed an aortic graft using 21 st century surgical techniques?”

“He made a goddamn cut on his chest! With a knife!”

“Doctor Travis, it’s called a scalpel. Doctor McCoy is one of the very few specialists of Starfleet who can perform 21st century surgery – and **that** is what saved the Reman Emperor’s life. I was there to witness, and should my opinion be considered as inadequate with the reality of facts, Admiral, then I must regretfully inform you that I will resign from Starfleet.”

An awkward, tense silence filled the room. Leonard turned to look at him, eyes wide in shock.

_Spock, what are you –_

_Silence, Leonard._

“I have complete confidence in the good judgment and the testimony of my First Officer”, Kirk said. “Furthermore, I have complete confidence in the professionalism of Doctor Leonard McCoy. He has never lost a single patient. Not to remind you of the fact that I myself – died – and he managed to bring me back to life.”

“Doctor McCoy…” – said the Admiral. “Is it your professional opinion that the Emperor’s life is in any danger now, after the intervention of Dr. Travis?”

McCoy turned his head slowly in his direction. Spock was still standing, his eyes were dark and dangerous.

“If Dr. Travis removed the stents that I have inserted into the Emperor’s aorta after the graft, then yes, the Emperor is in grave danger.”

“What do you suggest we do?”

“I do not have any suggestions at this time, since I have been relieved of duty.”

“You have not been relieved of duty, Doctor McCoy” – said the Admiral – and he was angry.

“Oh?”

“Doctor Travis, you are dismissed.”

“Now wait a minute – “

Spock made a few steps towards Travis who knew very well what the Vulcan was capable of and did not want the extra-embarrassment of being carried out of the conference room.

He stood up and left, throwing McCoy a last despised look.

Spock came and sat calmly on the vacant chair near McCoy.

Kirk look at him with admiration and gratitude. Spock was – great. What he had just done was beyond words. And when you think he didn’t even like Bones that much.

“Doctor McCoy.” – said the Admiral again.

“Yes?”

“Our deepest apologies for this unfortunate incident.”

“Yeah, okay.” – he sounded really unhappy.

“Your opinion regarding the Emperor’s condition?”

“If the stents have been removed, he will probably die.”

“We can’t afford this probability, Doctor. What can you do for him?”

_Spock?_

But Spock did not answer him anything. He was just there, near him, and Leonard knew that whatever he chose to say, Spock would support him.

“Let me explain the situation to you, Admiral… I am very tired, I only slept for 2 hours and I would not venture into an extremely complicated surgery now. I would only endanger Grey’s life more. So I suggest that I leave detailed instructions to the medical teams that are now present near him, and in the morning I will repair the damage that has been done. Meanwhile, if his condition deteriorates, call me, by all means…”

“Very well, Doctor. You may leave if you want, it is imperative that you rest.”

Spock tensed near him – and he was still in the dark mood. Leonard knew that he could not leave without him.

“No, thank you, I’d rather stay.”

“As you wish.”

The session continued with the description of engine modifications that they had operated. Chekov had also projected a detailed map of the wormhole and was explaining its parameters.

_Spock?_

_Yes, Leonard._

_Thank you…_

The warm feeling of gratitude glittered through the _bond_ and touched the deepest corners of the Vulcan’s mind. He resisted the urge to take Leonard’s hand into his. No one had the right to treat _his Leonard_ the way Travis just did.

He leaned over the Doctor’s console and operated something on it with extreme speed.

Leonard was watching his hands, so delicate and powerful, hands that could kill someone in seconds. He remembered the moment when they met Grey – and when he actually kissed Spock’s hand – did he actually do that?

He could not take his eyes out of his hands.

_I wish I could…_

But Spock ended what he was doing all of a sudden and looked briefly into his eyes.

_I have connected your console to the medical bay, you may check Grey’s condition._

He then shifted his attention towards the Admiral and Captain Kirk.

_Well I’ll  be damned. Didn’t know you can hack into the medbay terminal!_

_I can “hack” into mostly anything._

Leonard felt nervous all of a sudden.

_Did you just “hack” into my thoughts?_

_I must touch you in order to read your mind, Doctor. However it is not necessary at the moment, for whatever you were thinking about… was quite visible._

_Are you upset?_

_I am not._

Leonard went back into the Doctor mode and started assessing the Reman’s condition.

He sent specific instructions and leaned back in his chair, thinking about the best medical procedure for the Reman.

The meeting was unbearably long. When it finally ended, Kirk came to them immediately.

“Spock! I just wanted to thank you for the way you stood up for Bones. That was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. Not to mention that you were absolutely right, that is. But you scared the hell out of me. Threatening the Admiral with your resignation?”

“Captain, if the Admiral doubts my word, I see no other choice for me.”

“Well as you could see, he does not have the slightest doubt.”

“Indeed.”

Spock’s eyes were cold, nothing could be read on his face.

Leonard was still on his chair, deep in thoughts, contemplating the data on his console.

“Bones. Bones? Hello?”

“What, Jim.”

“What are you doing?”

“Working.”

Kirk rolled his eyes.

“Spock, please take this man to his quarters and make sure he sleeps. Nerve-pinch him or something. I gotta stay with the Admiral. We are plotting the Romulus mission.”

“Very well, Captain. Follow me, Doctor.”

Leonard closed the console and went with Spock without a word.

“Wow…” Kirk wondered, exchanging a worried look with Scotty. “Not a single protest from Bones? You think he’s sick?”

“Aye… he is not himself…”

 

Spock and McCoy returned to the Vulcan’s quarters.

It was late. Neither of them had said anything for a while.

Spock went to the shower, and came back dressed in a black Vulcan robe. Leonard was sitting on the bed, leaned against the wall, reading a padd with avid eyes and making notes on another, as if no one else was in the room.

Spock replicated a tray of fruit for himself and sat on the couch, looking at the Doctor.

“You are very passionate about your work” – Spock said after a while.

“Hm? Oh. Yeah, I guess I am.”

“What were you reading?”

“ _The_ _Treatise on Reman Anatomy_.”

“Have you finished?”

“I guess…” – he said hesitatingly – one can never be _too prepared_ – and looked at Spock. “Wow.”

“What does that mean?”

“You are… nevermind.” _Beautiful_.

“Eat something, Doctor.”

“Nah, I am not hungry.”

But as soon as he said that, he felt a painful shiver through the _bond._

“Doctor… Eat – something.”

“Yeah, okay, okay.”

Leonard replicated chocolate chip cookies and a cup of tea.

“May I come near you?”

“Yes.”

He came near Spock on the couch and offered him a cookie.

“What are these?”

“Sweet things. Try one.”

Spock took one, circumspectly.

“Interesting food, although not highly nutritious. You should eat more healthy, Doctor.”

“No.”

Spock raised an eyebrow and Leonard was actually waiting to feel that pain through the _bond_ again, but nothing happened.

“No?” – Spock asked, with the beginning of a smile.

“No.”

Leonard also smiled.

“Why doesn’t it hurt? I just said **no** to something you wanted me to do.”

“You didn’t…”

“What do you mean, I didn’t? Look, I am saying it again. No, I won’t eat more healthy.”

Spock put the tray of fruit down between them and gently touched Leonard’s forehead with his fingers.

“You are just… testing me, Leonard, and I am allowing you to. In **here** , in your mind, you did not say **no**.”

Leonard removed Spock’s hand from his face and kept it in his, for a few seconds.

Then – slowly, very slowly, as if with infinite precautions, he bowed his head and kissed Spock’s fingers, barely touching them with his lips.

The _bond_ lit violently, making his soul ache in pain – he let go of Spock’s hand, who continued to watch him calmly.

Pain! – or was it something else, because no pain could have torn the soul apart so ferociously. He looked at Spock and he looked inside him – and suddenly realized what the name of that pain was – it was love, immense and overwhelming, like a sharp knife held by a murderer, stabbing him over and over.

Darkness fell.

 

_**Pictures and characters are property of Paramount.** _

_**Story by AnJoan Grey** _


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you still like this story and if you still want more (because there's more to it), tell me so, and I'll post a new Chapter tomorrow.   
> My soul is made of Leonard :) a bit insecure and all that. You know. What I mean.

Leonard opened his eyes with great difficulty.

He was in bed. Spock was near him, but not very close, with one arm under his head; he seemed profoundly asleep.

He looked at him _– he was so beautiful –_ and his soul was again overwhelmed by what now he understood to be love, a love so powerful that – when it dawned on him – he’d lost consciousness. The _bond_ was silent and he knew it was so because Spock was sleeping.

Then it lit progressively, as the Vulcan opened his eyes.

The silence was so deep, Leonard noticed – all the noise inside him had died. Spock was there, near him; Spock – who had saved his life, who had saved his sanity, who had saved his reputation. Spock, who stood up for him like no one ever did – not even Jim. Spock was there, beautiful like in a dream, powerful like a god, Spock – who had his soul in chains – the love of his life. Spock was looking at him.

He cautiously reached out his hand towards him.

Spock touched Leonard’s fingers. All the thoughts had perished and the words were silent. The _bond_ was like the water of a still lake.

They stayed like that for a long time, gazing into each other’s eyes.

_Spock…_

_Leonard –_

“Medical Bay to Doctor Leonard McCoy, this is a code blue medical emergency, I repeat, code blue medical emergency.”

Leonard felt as if someone poured freezing water over him, zooming him back into reality. It was cold and ugly.

He jumped out of bed and took the communicator.

“McCoy.” – he said.

“Doctor McCoy, report to Medical Bay immediately. The Patient AnJoan Grey is in cardiac arrest.”

“Begin resuscitation, I am on my way. Prepare 10 ccs of cordrazine and have the OR standing by.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

“Spock…”

Spock had already dressed and threw him a clean blue shirt that he had replicated.

He quickly pulled it over his head  and grabbed his bag.

“Spock – you are coming, yes?? I can’t – ” 

“Yes, Doctor.”

Spock was calm and strong and Leonard needed that.

Leonard rushed to the Medical Bay, running on the long corridors; he took a brief look at the monitor which displayed the Reman’s vitals and saw that the CPR had no effect.

In the observation room there were already many Starfleet officials present, together with a sleepy Jim Kirk – and, of course, Admiral Whatley. They were all watching the display which showed the operating room, all with terrified eyes. McCoy was changing into surgery clothes and was spreading instructions to the medical staff.

Kirk came to Spock.

“You think he’s had any sleep?”

“5.325 hours.”

“Wow, that’s…”

Spock turned his head towards Jim, his eyes were cold, merciless. The Vulcan was in no mood for jokes.

“…precise.” – Jim added, sort of intimidated. “The stupid Reman’d better survive. This annoys the hell out of me.”

“I concur, Captain.”

“Hopefully Bones will be able to patch him up.”

McCoy’s staff was overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for an Emperor. Hands were trembling here and there, the Head Nurse dropped several instruments on the floor and nobody was doing anything right.

Meanwhile, 40 eyes were watching them from the observation room – the display was broadcasting live from the OR.

“OUT! All of you” – McCoy yelled at his assistants. Nurse, what’s your name?”

“Chapel, Doctor – “

“Nurse Chapel, get everyone out, then go to observation room and BRING ME COMMANDER SPOCK.”

“But Doctor – “

“NOW!”

The observation room filled with rumors. Was McCoy out of his mind?

“What does he need Commander Spock for in the OR? Is this man insane?” – the Admiral commented.

“Spock, what the hell??” – Kirk snapped.

“The Doctor requires my assistance.”

“With what?”

Nurse Chapel came near them.

“Are you Commander Spock, Sir?”

“Yes, Nurse.”

“The Doctor told me – to tell you to scrub…”

“Yes, I know.”

Spock followed her, put on sterile clothes and came to the OR.

Leonard had already begun. He looked for one second into Spock’s eyes.

“I’m sorry about this. If I am to save his life, I can’t do it without you.”

Spock adjusted the parameters on a console and generated the sterile field on the Reman’s chest. Then, he placed the laser scalpel into Leonard’s hand.

“Nurse Chapel?” – said Leonard to the young woman who had remained in a corner of the OR and was looking at them in complete fascination.

“Yes, Doctor?”

“Get out.”

She left, red with embarrassment.

Meanwhile, the tension in the observation room was nearly unbearable.

“I know he’s the best goddamn doctor in Starfleet, Kirk, but he needs an attitude adjustment! Just who the hell does he think he is??”

“He thinks he is the best doctor in Starfleet, Admiral” – Kirk answered – “and he is right about that. I mean… look at them.”

The Reman’s condition had stabilized and the surgery was progressing well.

“Do not vorry, Keptin” – Chekov said; he had just arrived there himself.

“Oh?”

“Zey hev done zat before.”

“And how the hell did Commander Spock handle all that… medical stuff? He does not have a medical degree.”

“Oh well, you know, Keptin… neither has Doctor McCoy a degree in Engineering, but he assisted ze Commander in fixing ze dilithium matrix…”

“Vascular regenerator, Spock.”

“I am not familiar with this procedure, Leonard.”

“I am improvising. If you still want to look inside my mind, now it would be a good time.”

“I need to remove one glove and the mask on your face.”

“Do it.”

“I will contaminate the sterile field.”

“If you don’t anticipate what I need, he will die anyways.”

“Very well.”

Spock removed the glove of his right hand and Leonard’s mask with short, precise gestures. He placed his fingers on Leonard’s face and went deep inside his mind.

“What are they doing, Chekov? You have any idea?” – Kirk asked.

“Zey do zat often. It’s some kind of information transfer, you know, very quickly. Ze Kommander did zat with me too.”

“What for?”

“When I had ze conn ze first time. He transmitted me a lot of piloting instructions.”

“Piloting? You?”

“Yes, Keptin.”

“And now, he’s like… taking stuff from Bones’ brain?”

“Yes, zey do zat a lot. Zey are a fabulous team.”

“Bones and Spock. I would have never thought.”

 

Spock stopped, his eyes widened.

“Fascinating…”

“Got all that?” – McCoy asked him.

“Yes, Doctor.”

“Good. Put my mask back on and go rescrub.”

Spock tied the mask behind Leonard’s head and went to sterilize his hands. When he returned, he began assisting Leonard in the reconstruction of the damaged aortic issue as if he had done that all his life.

_Spock, I’m sorry._

_What are you sorry for, Leonard?_

_I am ruthless in the OR and not very… oh well, you know… nice. I meant no disrespect._

_Do not concern yourself with that, Leonard. In here, you are in command._

_In here, yeah…_

_Only – in here._

“This was easy” – Leonard commented. “Now let’s reconstruct the other end.”

“Very well, Doctor.”

_Spock, I will have to stay with him until he wakes up this time._

A mild wave of danger passed through the _bond_ from Spock to him.

“What is it? Spock?”

_Not – alone._

_What?_

_I will not leave you alone with him._

_I did not even say that! You can stay too!_

_Very well._

_Spock, what is this about?_

Spock did not answer – he placed the tissue regenerator in the Doctor’s hand with an angry gesture.

_Spock, please. Tell me._

_He said – that if I did not want you, he would have you._

_Wow, he is… more insane than I thought. And you actually… Spock, he was just trying to annoy you or something._

_Regardless of what he was trying to do, Leonard – **you are mine**._

 

Pictures and characters are property of Paramount

Story by **AnJoan Grey**

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is everyone doing?  
> Enjoying Spock's deadly glare?  
> Until tomorrow!

Leonard raised his head and looked for a moment into Spock’s eyes. All the thoughts vanished; the _bond_ was pulsating painfully in the rhythm of his heartbeat.

“Damn it, McCoy, focus!” – he said to himself, and began the final stage of the tissue reconstruction.

“Blood pressure dropping.”

“10 ccs of adrenalin, keep the syringe in a vertical position above the right ventricle, inject slowly.”

 

“I have never seen anything like it” – said the Admiral.

“Me either” – Kirk answered.

“You think the damn Reman reptile will make it?”

“Sure he will.”

“It’s the second time he crashes.”

 

“Keep this clamp here and don’t move. I need an extra pair of hands. Who shall I call?”

“Chekov.”

“I was thinking of a doctor, Spock.”

“Call Chekov. He and I share a high degree of mental compatibility and we have already melded two times. He will do everything I say.”

“He must do everything you **think**. There is no time for words.”

“Call him, Leonard.”

“Pavel Chekov”, said Leonard loudly. “Are you in the observation room?”

Chekov looked at Jim with worried eyes.

“Yyyes, Doctor McCoy, I am.”

“Get down here immediately.”

Chekov’s eyes widened in shock.

“Just go, kid”, Jim told him. “Do whatever they want. These two are gonna kill me or something. Telepathic surgery, the things I get to see!”

Chekov entered the pre-op room and looked around with a disoriented glare.

_Pavel –_

The abrupt connection of the telepathic link – he had never experienced that before – made him grimace in pain.

_Put your hands in the sterilizer. Then, dress in sterile clothes and put on a mask. Quickly._

Chekov complied immediately; he knew instinctively where everything was. He came near them.

“Gloves” – Leonard ordered. “Then, you will take Commander Spock’s place. You will hold that instrument in position, it’s easy.”

Spock carefully placed the delicate vascular clamp in Pavel’s hands.

_Hold perfectly still, Pavel._

“Yes, Kommander.”

Now having free hands, Spock helped Leonard repair the last inches of aorta.

“I will restart his heart. Chekov, remove and reposition the clamp – now.”

“Ya ochen' nervnichal”

“Right.”

“There is no need to be nervous, Mr. Chekov” – Spock added. “You are performing adequately.”

“Didn’t know you spoke Russian”, McCoy wondered.

“I do not.”

There was hardly anyone breathing in the observation room.

The young man focused with all his strength as he was receiving the mental instructions from Spock.

As he removed the clamp from its current position, the Reman heart restarted beating and the blood pressure normalized.

“We will perform a traditional wire sternum closure. Spock?”

“I am ready.”

“Chekov?”

“Gotovy.”

“Whatever that means.”

Everything went smoothly from that moment on. The closing of the surgery was easy and the Reman’s vitals were already better.

“You think they will court-martial us, Spock?”

“There are chances. Nothing like this has ever happened.”

Suddenly, Leonard felt the _bond_ darkening.

“Spock?”

“Yes.“

“Spock, you are going to lose consciousness.”

“I am aware of that.”

“Chekov, take the Commander to that bed over there this instant. I can manage by myself now.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

It was about time, because Spock collapsed, unconscious, into Chekov’s arms.

“We’re fine”, Leonard said towards the observation room. The Commander is just exhausted from the telepathic transmissions. We are finished here. Have the medical team report to me immediately for instructions.”

 

With the Reman stabilized and Spock on a nearby bed, McCoy collapsed on a chair.

“You were awesome, kid” – he told Chekov.

“Will he be okay?”

“The Reman? Yeah.”

“Not ze Reman, what do I care about him. Ze Kommander.”

“Ah. Sure he will. He is just resting now.”

Chekov was gazing at Spock with helpless eyes.

“You love him, don’t you?”

Chekov blushed – he was adorable.

“Not like **you** …”

It was Leonard’s turn to blush, but Kirk interrupted their confessions abruptly, placing his arms around their necks.

“So what else can you guys do together?”

“Jim, if you are going to court martial us, I accept full responsibility.”

“Huh? Bones, are you out of your mind?”

“You know – for getting unlicensed people into the OR.”

“Bones. For what I care, if you can save someone’s life, you can even bring elephants in the OR. No one’s gonna court martial you – unless it’s over my dead body.”

“Not over your dead body, please. I’ve had enough surgery for one day.”

“What’s with Spock?”

“I would say… excessive telepathic transmissions. He’s exhausted. I’ll keep him here for the day.”

“Okay, Bones. You alright?”

“Sure kid.”

“Call me when the Reman wakes up. I’ll go have the Enterprise ready for launch – as soon as he’s fine, we must proceed to Romulus.”

“’Kay.”

After Jim left, Leonard collapsed on a chair between Spock and Grey’s beds.

He reviewed the surgery in his mind, as if he wanted to be sure he did not forget anything.

He was completely immersed into thoughts when he felt Spock’s fingers wrapping around his left wrist.

“Oh… hey.”

He turned towards him, bowed his head a bit and kissed Spock’s hand, gently.

That small gesture had become the most important thing in the world for him – maybe because Spock was accepting it – he, who could not stand being touched – or because it embodied the essence of their relationship… he did not know exactly.

He took a scanner with the other hand and ran a reading of the Vulcan’s vital signs.

“You are better.”

“Yes. How is the Emperor?”

“He’ll wake up soon.”

“Have you eaten something, Leonard?”

“No. We will go together. And I don’t wanna hear any complains. I’m your doctor, okay?”

“Very well, Doctor. But first I need to have a talk with Mr. Chekov. Where is he, please?”

“In the observation room, what do you wanna do to the poor kid? He already has a bad headache.”

“Leonard, Pavel experiences a very strong emotion towards me and he is incapable of dealing with it.”

“Yeah, I know”.

“I will create a light bond with him, otherwise he will endure a lot of pain.”

“I know a lot about that pain…”

“It is not **that** pain, Leonard. It is something else.”

Leonard smiled, the _bond_ was glowing with warmth.

Spock looked deeply into his eyes for a few moments –he was still holding his wrist.

“Take him to my office over there, I’ll make sure no one disturbs you.”

Spock turned his head towards the Reman, watching him reluctantly.

“Spock, go. Really. He won’t wake up in 10 minutes. And if he does, you’ll know.”

Spock let go of Leonard’s wrist with visible regret.

He went and took Chekov’s hand, took him in Leonard’s office and told him to sit down on the couch, then came in front of him.

Chekov looked up at Spock with alarmed eyes.

“Pavel.”

“Yes, Kommender?” – his Russian accent was very pronounced – he was nervous.

“You are like a son to me.”

The young man’s eyes widened in surprise.

“I am??”

“Yes. And because of this, and also due to the exceptional mental compatibility between you and me, I would like to ask you if you agree to a bond between us.”

“You mean like ze konnecktion you have with Doktor McCoy?”

“Different. It is a bond that is generally built between parent and child.”

“Kommander, I… am honored! You know I, - I mean… you saw…”

“I know everything.”

“But won’t Doctor McCoy be upset?”

“Why would Leonard be upset? He thinks highly of you.”

“Oh. Then if he is not going to be upset… what must I do?”

“Be still.”

Spock placed his fingers on the young man’s face, on different points than those of the meld. Pavel felt as if rays of warm light were flowing from Spock’s fingers into his mind, creating something that _felt_ like a rainbow. He felt Spock’s care and concern for him, his desire to protect him against all evil, his kindness and his strength. Oh, how he adored him!

Spock removed his hand, Chekov looked at him with luminous eyes.

“Thank you…”

“You are welcome, Pavel. I am looking forward to our friendship. Now, I have a favor to ask… will you stay with the Reman Emperor while I take Leonard to eat something?”

“Of course, Kommender.”

 

Spock accompanied Leonard to the restaurant and they ate quietly.

“Spock…”

“Yes.”

He loved the way Spock said _yes_ and _no_ , ever so calm and resolute; the most insignificant dialogues between them made his heart beat faster.

“I… would…”

Words perished from Leonard’s mind once again.

“You – would?”

_I would do anything for you – anything –_

“I would… like to know what happened to me last night. Did I actually faint?”

“Yes, you lost consciousness.”

“But… do you know why?”

“Of course, Leonard.”

“And… can we talk about it?”

“No, we can not. Not yet.”

“Okay. This is painful.”

“I know.”

 

*

 

As they returned to Medical Bay, Chekov stood up when he saw Spock – an obvious gesture of respect and love.

The Reman was just coming around.

“Uh, you may want to get Jim?” – Leonard suggested.

Spock commed Kirk, who came in a few minutes.

“Bones? How is he? Can he talk?”

“Dunno. Um, Mr. Grey?”

Kirk pinched him hard.

“What?” – McCoy turned angrily.

“You can’t call the Reman Emperor “ _Mr. Grey”_ , Jesus, Bones!”

“Oh, please.”

Spock was supervising the scene with a dangerous glare.

“Your Majesty, greetings!” – said Kirk. “It’s an honor to finally meet you.”

“Who are you?” – the Reman asked with a tired voice.

Meanwhile, McCoy had instinctively gone near Spock, arms crossed – and the Vulcan wrapped his fingers around one of his wrists, as if he wanted to protect him against an invisible evil.

“I am James Kirk, Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise. I will escort you to Romulus, as agreed.”

“Good.”

“Is there anything you need? A specific food, temperature…”

“Where is the Doctor?”

“Uh, Doctor McCoy is right here.” Kirk turned towards them and made a sign towards the Doctor. “Bones??” – he whispered in a rather exasperated tone when he saw that his friend did not move an inch towards the Reman’s bed.

“Yeah?”

“Get. Over. Here. Will you??”

Leonard felt Spock’s fingers holding him in place, tightening the grip on his wrist.

_Spock?_

Spock went first near the Reman, making sure he could not reach Leonard.

“Oh, you.” – said Grey. “I will not hurt him.”

“That is a wise course of action, Sir.” Spock’s voice was absolutely merciless, and Kirk was perplex, but the Vulcan did not care. Leonard’s safety was his first priority.

“Thank you again, Doctor”, said the Reman towards Leonard, who was behind Spock.

“Don’t mention it.”

“How soon can he travel?”

“As soon as he wants, but he needs to stay on a biobed at least another 3 days.”

“Well, Romulus is 4 days away, so if we leave immediately… What do you say, your Majesty, is that convenient?”

“I would like a word alone with the Doctor.”

Leonard froze, and so did Spock.

“Of course, your Majesty” – said Kirk. “Come on, Commander Spock.”

“That is not possible, said Spock. I will not leave you alone with Leonard.”

Kirk thought he was dreaming – or rather he was having a nightmare. What the hell was Spock doing? He took his arm and tried to make him move. Spock turned his head towards him, he had a deadly look, they were seconds away from disaster.

_Don’t say something idiot to Jim, Spock!! Trust me a moment, will you? Spock??_

“Spock, look at me” – said Leonard – which Spock did – with the same deadly eyes.

_It is going to be alright, Spock. He will not hurt me. He behaves like this because he wants to annoy you, and it looks like he succeeded. Now please don’t say anything to Jim! Just go a few meters away with him._

_He will not take you from me!_

_No one can do that, Spock… I am yours…_

Leonard took Spock’s hand and kissed it gently, in front of Jim and of everyone else who was there.

That seemed to calm Spock, who reluctantly allowed Jim to drag him a few meters away, in the observation room.

“What the hell was that about, Commander?”

“Am I on duty, Captain?”

“No, you’re not! But what the hell, Spock! What’s going on with you and Bones?”

“The Reman Emperor took Doctor McCoy prisoner; he tortured him and nearly killed him. His mind was profoundly damaged, Captain, when I got him out of there. You seem not to have read my report attentively.”

“Oh, forget it, Spock! You know it’s not that. There is something goig on here and I want to know what!”

“I shall try to explain” – the Vulcan said with a sigh. “But after Leonard finishes the discussion with the Emperor.”

“You are very – possessive, Spock!”

“You are very intuitive, Jim.”

“And since when are you calling Bones – _Leonard_?”

“That is his name, Captain, is it not?”

Jim wanted to smash his own head into a wall or something.

 

 

_Pictures and characters are property of Paramount_

_Story by **AnJoan Grey**_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a nice Sunday, everyone.  
> Leonard CAN be a bad-ass, that's for sure. And he can also be helplessly in love.  
> Drop a comment? :) You know it means a lot to me.

“What do you want from me?” – McCoy asked the Reman.

“I would like to keep you.”

“No, thanks.”

“I would treat you well on Remus. You would be my Viceroy and my – “

“I said – no, thanks. Anything else, Grey?

“Now now, you are being rude, Doctor.”

“I don’t care much. I have saved your life twice. Done my part of the deal. Plus, you already know I belong to someone else.”

“Don’t be so aggressive, Doctor. I regret I can’t keep you, I wish I could do that, you are a very pleasant being, although quite stubborn – of course, this can be educated. Things can always change…"

“Anything else?”

“I won’t forget you saved my life, Doctor. I will repay this debt. Now, do one last thing for me and synthesize the Phage formula again. I will need it. It should not be difficult, you already have it in that fabulous mind of yours.”

“And if I refuse?”

“Why would you refuse?”

“Let’s say it brings back sad memories.”

“Oh, you are revenging for past deeds. Need I remind you that your Vulcan master killed my entire crew?”

Leonard started to feel anger, which was flowing in big strong waves through the _bond_. Spock wanted to rush to them but Kirk stopped him.

 

“Let them finish, Spock! I’ve known Bones for many years now, he can take care of himself! Give him a break!”

“It’s the Emperor I do not trust.”

“What’s he gonna do, disconnect himself from life support? And stab Bones?”

“He **is** capable of that.”

“Well, so is Bones capable of breaking his neck! Trust me, there’s a bad-ass hiding under that devious pretty face!”

“A-what?”

“Believe me, Spock! Have you never seen Bones really pissed off?”

“I have not.”

“Well, you’d be surprised.”

 

“You need not remind me”, Leonard snapped. “Okay, listen. I will recreate the Phage vaccine. Instead, you will not talk to me, you will not ask to see me, you will not even mention my name, and you will leave Commander Spock alone. Oh, and of course, the peace with Romulus and all that stuff.”

“How careless of the Federation, to entrust peace negotiations into the hands of someone like you.”

“I ain’t negotiating anything, Mr. Grey. I am **informing** you. I know that your people need the vaccine. It’s a fair trade. Now if you’ll excuse me. Call me **only** if you are in cardiac arrest.”

 

Leonard came to the observation room, he was extremely angry. He sat heavily on the couch.

“I think you can go sign the peace accord or whatever that’s called, Jim.”

“What did he want?”

“He wanted to keep me as his pet.”

“Huh??”

Spock’s lips turned pale, his eyes poisonous.

“This mission is going to absolutely kill me” – Jim mumbled. “Spock?”

Spock was looking at the Doctor as if he wanted to drill holes through his forehead, in order to see inside his mind; he turned his head to face Jim with great difficulty.

“Yes, Captain?” – his tone could freeze anyone’s soul.

“Get Bones and beam aboard the Enterprise this very moment! And I don’t want to see ANY of you until tomorrow, on the alpha shift, when you have some serious explaining to do.”

Spock did not wait for a second invitation. He grabbed Leonard’s arm and left to the transporter room.

 

*

 

As soon as they arrived on the Enterprise, he dragged him to his quarters and pointed to a chair.

Leonard complied – Spock was in the dangerous mood.

The Vulcan came in front of him and placed his fingers on the meld points, plunging into Leonard’s mind like a storm. He saw the whole discussion with the Reman, he saw how violently Leonard had rejected his advances – and his eyes became milder in a second. The danger had passed. Leonard was safe and was – his.

Leonard slowly wrapped an arm around Spock’s waist, then the other one, pulling him closer – then he leaned his head on the Vulcan’s chest.

“Don’t electrocute me, okay?” – he whispered. It was only days ago when Spock told him he had to refrain from touching him.

Spock hesitated for a moment; then he also wrapped his arms around Leonard’s head, running his long fingers through his hair. He didn’t want to let Leonard go – never! – he was organically a part of him. How did that happen? A week ago he could hardly endure being in the same room with that human. He could not stand being touched by him, he could not stand his voice, his smell… and now – that human was in his arms –

“Spock…”

_I am so in love with you – SO in love._

Spock made a small step back and looked down, into his hazel eyes.

“How the hell will we manage being in the same room since we’re both on the alpha shift tomorrow, and you must be on the bridge – and I, in sickbay?”

“I do not know. We shall go talk to the Captain.”

“He told you he doesn’t wanna see you until tomorrow. And when Jim’s pissed off, there’s no way putting some sense into him.

“What do you suggest we do?”

“Well, one of us has to change shift. Preferably me. I’ll stay on the bridge during your shift, then you’ll stay in sickbay during mine.”

“That is remarkably logical.”

“Yeah, the only problem will be that everyone’s gonna comment about us.”

“Leonard, from now on, there will always be **us**. Together.”

That particular statement made Leonard forget to breathe.

Spock touched his lips with one finger, slowly, as if he was performing a delicate surgery. He was ever so serious, calm and powerful. Leonard was sure he was about to faint, the emotion was overwhelming and the _bond_ was effectively burning his soul – when the communicator vibrated on the table, once more pulling them away from their dream.

“I hate this!” – he snapped and took the communicator with a furious gesture. “McCoy.”

“Admiral Whatley here, Doctor.”

“Yes, Admiral.”

“I need a detailed report of all the medical procedures that were performed on the Reman Emperor, as we have been requested by the Reman command center. They need to prepare blood transfusions and specific medicine for when you arrive.”

“…now?”

“Now, Doctor.”

“It will take hours!”

“Then I suggest you started.”

“Yes, Sir. McCoy out.” He looked at Spock who had removed his coat and had his black shirt on. _So close we were – for a moment I thought –_

“Take a padd, I will help you.”

“Spock, I know what I did in the OR, but damn! I don’t remember every little detail.”

“I do. I will meld with you, you will see every moment in your mind and write everything down.”

“Damn. Okay, let’s do this. I would have hoped for a different evening, but it looks like all we ever do is work. We’re not even on duty!”

Spock lay comfortably on the bed with a stack of padds.

“Come here.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m gonna faint or something.”

“That would be most unfortunate.”

Leonard came near him, he was very nervous all of a sudden.

Spock placed his hand on the already-so-familiar meld points on Leonard’s face and projected the beginning of the surgery.

Leonard took a padd and started writing. It was going to be a long afternoon.

 

They finished the report after five long hours. Leonard was exhausted – and so was Spock. The long meld had drained all the energy out of him.

Leonard sent the report and collapsed on the bed.

“You know, I can’t believe how much time we’ve spent together already without arguing. I think I am having withdrawal symptoms.”

“We can argue tomorrow if you wish.”

Leonard could not believe what he was hearing – he started to laugh.

“Spock, I… did you actually say that??”

Spock looked amused.

“Green-blooded hobgoblin!”

“Indeed.”

Leonard’s eyes were shining with happiness; that was it. Happiness, pure and simple, having Spock near him, it was all that mattered.

“There are a few other things that matter.” – Spock said.

“Are you still inside my mind?”

“No, but as I pointed out on various other occasions, those things you were thinking about were quite visible.”

“Oh. So? What are the other few things that matter?”

“Change clothes, shower, eat, sleep.”

“Wait, that can’t be right.”

“Oh, you are correct. Shower, change clothes, sleep, eat.”

“You are developing a sense of humor, Spock. I am not sure I can heal that. I may have to invent a new hypospray to treat you.”

Spock threw a pillow at him – which was again unimaginable.

Leonard got out of the bed and went to shower. He already knew the Vulcan well, and even if he was casual when demanding things, Spock wanted them done.

After the shower, he returned to the room to find Spock asleep on the bed, exhaustion had finally taken its toll. He covered him with a blanket and cuddled on the couch with a plate of cookies.

Watching Spock sleep became one of his favorite-things-to-do.

Was Spock aware of his feelings?

Of course he was – Spock knew everything.

Was he returning them? Never a single word about that. However – he did mention words like “us” and “forever” and even if there will never be anything more than this – sharing a room – he was okay with that. But what if one day Spock will want to take a mate? Raise his own family? What will happen to himself in that moment?

Better take things one day at a time. The moment when Spock would abandon him was still far.

 

**Pics and characters belong to Paramount**

**Story by AJG**


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everybody's silent :(  
> ***feels lonely***

“Leonard?”

“Mmmm…”

“Alpha shift starts in 30 minutes, we must report to the bridge.”

McCoy jumped to his feet.

“Fuck. It’s so late! I need to see Grey.”

Leonard rushed to the shower, changed uniform and came back to the room; Spock was waiting for him near the door, ever so calm.

“We are going to Sickbay.”

But before opening the door, Leonard stopped for a second to look into Spock’s eyes.

“Today’s gonna be difficult.”

“I am aware of this.”

He shifted his gaze downwards, took Spock’s hand and raised it to his lips, kissing it delicately.

The _bond_ flourished, luminous and warm, making Leonard close his eyes for a second.

Spock took a deep breath, as if trying to settle a deep emotion – or maybe it was just nothing more than a deep breath.

“Don’t ever deny me this” – said Leonard, still holding his hand.

“I do not have any intention to do so.”

With that particular statement, Spock opened the door and proceeded towards Sickbay, followed by a deeply-into-thoughts Doctor.

“Good morning”, said McCoy to the Reman in an ostentatiously hostile tone. Spock was already close to his bed, making sure there was no way the Reman could touch Leonard, even by mistake.

“Good morning, both of you. Still together, I see.”

“Always”, McCoy mumbled and came with a bunch of hypos, which he started injecting into his neck. “What is this wound here, behind your ear?”

“Oh, got bitten.”

“Bitten? Here, in my Sickbay? By whom?”

“No, Doctor, on my ship which your master gloriously destroyed. I got bitten by a female.”

“Oh, I really don’t want to know that.”

“She was my mate, you see.”

“Oh.”

“Therefore, Mr. Spock” – he said, looking at the Vulcan – “try to imagine for a second how it would _feel_ if someone killed your Leonard.”

“Leonard is not my mate, Sir. Furthermore this discussion – “

“ – stops here,” Leonard snapped, as he started to feel the dangerous anger building into Spock’s mind. “We’ll chat later.” With that, he injected a final hypo which rendered AnJoan Grey unconscious.

He took Spock’s arm and dragged him away from sickbay, into the turbolift.

“Bridge!” – he yelled at the computer. “Spock, this guy is really making you angry. I mean, it doesn’t show, but I can feel it.”

“That – he does. You do not look very calm either.”

“I’m Leonard McCoy. I’m never calm.”

“You seemed to be remarkably calm the entire afternoon, yesterday.”

_In your hands – I am..._

“Good thing we’re getting rid of him soon, damn reptile, his majesty or whatever.”

There were only a few minutes left until the beginning of the alpha shift when they arrived on the bridge.

“Good morning, Captain”, Spock said on his usual cold, calm voice, and went to his console. A warm ray of love flew to him from Chekov, he mirrored it back; the young man’s soul was a bundle of happiness.

“Good morning, Mr. Spock. Bones. Mr. Sulu, set course to Romulus, Warp 4. Engage.”

“Yes, Sir.”

A low buzz in the ship’s engines let them know they were at warp.

Bones was glaring at the view-screen from his usual bridge position, behind the Captain’s chair.

“Did you check on the Emperor, Bones?”

“Yeah, he’s stable, he’s resting. When he wakes up again, I’ll have to fix a nasty bite on his neck.”

“Did you send the surgery report to Admiral Whatley? He’s been pestering me about it all day yesterday.”

“I did, I did. And by the way, that was not fair.”

“What was not fair?” – there was a glance of annoyance in Kirk’s voice.

“Four hours straight of surgery, followed by five hours of reporting! Do you know how much sleep I’ve had since we returned from the Gamma Quadrant?”

“You look pretty rested right now.”

“What was that supposed to mean?”

They were talking in a low voice but they both knew they were going to get pretty vocal soon.

“Okay, Bones, it’s time we had a talk. Come with me. Mr. Spock, you have the conn.”

He got up and took McCoy’s arm, heading to the turbolift.

“Wait, Jim, where the hell are we going??”

_Spock???_

Spock had stood up, went and sat on the commanding chair, tense, his eyes gloomy. Chekov turned towards him with an alarmed look. He knew very well that Spock and Leonard could not be separated, and he knew disaster was about to follow.

“Wait, Keptin – “ he tried to say, but got a “Not now” from Kirk who dragged McCoy in the turbolift.

“Are you out of your mind, Jim? Why couldn’t we talk on the bridge?”

Kirk stopped the tubolift with a furious gesture.

“Because I fucking hate this, Bones! What the hell is going on with you? Ever since you returned, you are acting extremely – and I mean extremely! – strange. Not to mention you are practically glued to Spock! For fuck’s sake you’re my best friend! The hell is going on in that brains of yours?”

The _bond_ started to darken.

_Spock!_

_Leonard…_

“Jim, listen. I will tell you everything you want to know, but let’s return to the bridge, okay?”

“No, I won’t return to the damn bridge until I – “

McCoy leaned against the turbolift wall. His lips were white and he was fighting to win the battle against the blackness that was approaching.

“Bones? Bones?? What the hell? Are you alright?”

Chekov got out of his station and approached Spock who had clenched his hand on the armchair.

“Pavel, get… Leonard” – he said with great difficulty.

“Yes, yes, Kommander. Do not vorry, I know what to do.”

All eyes were turned towards them as Spock collapsed unconscious into Chekov’s arms.

“Medical emergency to ze Bridge! Doctor McCoy, please! Come to ze bridge now!”

“Kirk to Sickbay, medical emergency, Doctor McCoy lost consciousness.”

“Chekov to Sickbay, medical emergency, I am beaming zere wiz Kommander Spock.”

Everyone in Sickbay rushed to help the two unconscious men, while Chekov was trying to explain that they needed to put them closer together.

“Keptin Kirk, please, Sir, lissen to me!”

“Chekov what the hell happened to Commander Spock! M’Benga, will you please??? Do something!”

“I **am** doing something, Sir” – he was already scanning the vitals of both of them. “Please wait outside and let me work.”

“KEPTIN!”

“ **What** , Chekov, **what**??”

“If you don’t lissen to me, zey will DIE!”

“What? What are you saying?”

“You should hev not separated zem, Keptin! Zey share a mental link zat is somewhat unstable, zey need to be in ze same room!”

“Why the hell no one told me that??”

“I sink zey tried, Sir. But it iz not easy to explain somesing like zis. And I mean do disrespect but you didn’t quite lissen!”

“M’Benga, listen to Chekov! He has seen this before, he has some insight.”

Chekov pushed Kirk aside, then he pushed M’Benga aside and went between the two men.

Without thinking too much, he took Spock’s left hand and McCoy’s right hand.

Kirk came closer, watching the scene with worried eyes.

“Who’s the idiot who tried to separate these two people?” – the Reman Emperor asked.

“I am”, said Kirk and he looked miserable.

“Oh. Well, if you want to kill them, you’re on the right track. I wouldn’t mind seeing the Vulcan bastard dead, but the Doctor, really, it’s such a pity.”

“I had no idea, okay? And anyways what do you know about all this?”

“Only what’s obvious, Captain… These two are inseparable, they are in complete symbiosis and you must see that they remain so, unless you want them dead.”

 

Spock opened his eyes, everything inside him was in pain, his soul twisted, the _bond_ was completely dark. It was as if someone poured blackness inside him. Chekov squeezed his hand.

“Pavel, where is he?”

“Rrright near you.”

“Is he…?”

“No, no! He iz unkonscious. What must I do?”

“I do not feel the _bond_ with him, Pavel. I must see him – “

But he was too weak to even raise his head from the bed.

Chekov pulled Leonard’s bed closer

“He iz breathing okey, Kommender. Perhaps you shud rest a bit?”

“Pavel, the _bond_ must be reconnected, or we shall die.”

“Kommender, zen I will die too. Tell me what to do, I will do anysing.”

“Put your fingers on the meld points on Leonard’s face.”

Spock held his hand tighter and projected an image in the young man’s mind, to help them find the psi points.

As soon as he did that, Spock gathered all his remaining energy, and reopened the _bond_ with Leonard in its full brightness, passing through Chekov’s mind.

Chekov tried not to faint, although it was difficult. Spock’s resolve to do anything in order to save Leonard’s life was like a tidal wave.

Leonard McCoy opened his eyes and grasped for air with a spasm.

“SPOCK.”

Chekov put Leonard’s hand into Spock’s and turned towards M’Benga.

“Doktor, now I sink you can help meby?”

M’Benga, who was a specialist in Vulcan physiology and had watched the whole scene in astonishment rushed to them. Chekov had cold drips of sweat on his forehead and felt drained of energy. He went to Kirk.

“Keptin.”

“Chekov. Are they alright now?”

“Yes, Keptin. May I be ekscused for ten minits Sir? Before reporting to ze bridge? I need to change uniform.”

“Sure, Kid.”

Kirk was having the worst day of his life.

 

Chekov was young and perhaps inexperienced in a lot of things, but he loved Spock deeply and with a pure heart. He knew that Spock would have difficulty in explaining his Captain what has just happened and, on the other side, he and Doctor McCoy had to be in the same room all the time. He didn’t exactly know why; but he knew it was so. He went to his quarters and opened the computer terminal. Perhaps Spock will be upset, considering what he was about to do, but he was ready to endure that. Spock’s life and safety were more important than anything. He gathered all his courage and he called Ambassador Sarek.

 

Kirk returned to the bridge, he was feeling miserable and sick. He collapsed on the chair that Sulu – who had promptly assumed command – vacated for him, and stared at the controls on the small display connected to the arm of his chair. He had nearly killed his two best friends.

Chekov returned to his station shortly after.

“Priority one call from Ambassador Sarek” – Uhura announced.

Kirk felt cold shivers. He dreaded Ambassador Sarek – the coldest being in the known universe.

“The last thing I needed. On screen.”

“Captain Kirk” – said the Ambassador, on an official tone that made his soul freeze.

He promptly stood up.

“Ambassador.”

“What is the situation of my Son?”

“He is conscious now, Sir. I deeply regret – “

“You will send me his medical report now.”

“Right away, Sir.”

“And what of Leonard McCoy?”

“He is in a similar condition, Ambassador. Look, I didn’t know – “

“I am aware of that, Captain. After your current mission to Romulus, you will set course to New Vulcan immediately, where our healers will assist my Son and your Doctor. Meanwhile, do not attempt to separate them again.”

“No, Sir, absolutely not.”

“Good day, Captain.”

Sarek gave a short look to Chekov and ended the transmission.

 

Leonard sat up and gazed at Spock with terrified eyes.

“M’Benga, report!”

“Doctor McCoy, you are both out of danger. Commander Spock reconnected the _bond._ He is only tired now, he needs a few hours of rest.”

“Give me that” – he snapped and took the medical tricorder out of M’Benga’s hand.

Spock was laying on one side, eyes open, holding Leonard’s right hand tightly, exhausted and unable to speak. He scanned him and sighed with relief. He also scanned himself.

“We’re fine” – he told Spock, who bowed his eyelids in acknowledgement.

The _bond_ felt different, it was immense, bright as a nova, filling every cell in his body and every inch of his soul.

“You have – you have…?”

“Yes”, Spock whispered.

“Okay… rest for a while. Don’t talk.”

“Do not. Go.”

“I ain’t going anywhere. McCoy to Kirk.”

“Bones! How are you feeling?”

“We are both okay, Spock needs a few more hours of sleep. Listen, can you reschedule or shifts?”

“I’ll be right there.”

Kirk came to see them immediately.

“Bones, listen, I am so sorry.”

“Yeah, well…”

“Sarek called. He sort of explained. Chekov also explained. I wish **you** guys have told me.”

“I was… going to explain…”

“So you need to be in the same room, yes?”

“Basically, yes.”

“I’ll make sure no one separates you, and I’m really sorry about it. You’re off duty until tomorrow both of you.”

“No, Jim, I feel fine and I can’t be off duty. That goddamn reptile has a wound that I need to suture.”

“Bones…”

“Will you listen?”

“Oh I am so tired of you, Bones. Schedule whatever shift you want for yourself. I don’t need you on the bridge, we’re at warp, nothing exciting happens. Spock, how are you? Feeling better?”

“Tired.” – he said in a low voice.

“Just rest. And you are definitely off duty. At least we can agree on **that** , Bones?”

“Definitely.”

“Chekov?” – Spock whispered.

“He is on the bridge and he is fine. Is there something I need to know about him too?”

Spock squeezed Leonard’s hand gently, which meant he wanted him to explain.

“Well, um… the Commander and Chekov also share a bond but… different, a parental bond, and there is no need to do anything in particular.”

“So, Spock is like – his dad, right?”

“Generally speaking, yes.”

“I’m actually starting to be jealous”, Kirk smiled. “See you later guys.”

He bowed in the direction of the Reman Emperor (who growled something in return about how idiot he was) – and left.

 

Spock’s hand was resting on his upper arm and he was deeply asleep. Leonard was re-re-reading the _Treatise on Reman Anatomy_.

Grey was on the biobed a few meters away from them, leaned against big pillows, with sensors on his chest and connected to various monitors which McCoy was reading at times.

The Reman Emperor was studying Leonard with curious eyes.

“I would very much like to see your Vulcan – dead…” – he said in a low voice.

Leonard raised his head slowly from the padd he was immersed in and glared at the Reman.

“What. Did. You. Say?”

“Oh, my dear young friend. If looks could kill, I think I would be bleeding to death already.”

McCoy gently removed Spock’s hand from his arm, stood up and approached Grey slowly.

“Are you sure he allows you to be so close to me?”

McCoy ignored those words and gave him a beautiful smile:

“If you lay one finger – one little finger – on Commander Spock, I will break – every imperial bone – in your body. Is that – clear?”

“Temper, temper, my dearest.”

Spock had woken up, gotten out of the bed and grabbed the Doctor’s wrist, pulling him away from the Reman’s bed.

 “Ah, what a pity. We were not finished with our declarations of love.”

Spock did not even look at the Reman.

“Are we off duty, Leonard?”

“You are. I’m not. How are you feeling?”

“Everything is in order.”

His eyes, impenetrable.

“I need to suture that wound on his neck.”

“Very well, I will assist you.”

“Let’s scrub up.”

As they were sterilizing their hands, Leonard looked rather insecurely at the Vulcan.

“Spock, you didn’t actually believe what he said – I hope?”

“Leonard, I heard your entire conversation.”

“Oh. And you are not – upset?”

“Do I have any reason?”

“No, you don’t.”

“However, the Captain might not appreciate you threatening the Reman Emperor with torture and death.”

“Well, you know… Jim might also not appreciate that the Reman Emperor threatened to murder his First Officer.”

“You have a point.”

They returned to Grey and they started working on the bad wound he had.

“Hold his head still in this position, Spock.”

Spock placed his beautiful fingers on Grey’s chin, and without any intention to do so he instantly found himself inside his mind. He had been there before; but now there was danger, there was a sense of deceit, there was desire towards Leonard.

He immediately broke contact, looking deeply into the Reman’s golden eyes.

Grey smiled – an evil, wicked smile.

Spock’s eyes darkened, becoming deadly, as a predator ready to kill.

“Oh don’t look so surprised, Vulcan” – said Grey. “I told you before… If you don’t want him… I do.”

“He. Is. Mine.”

“He doesn’t look yours.”

Leonard injected him violently with a sedative, which made the Reman drift again into unconsciousness.

“I will sedate you until you shut the fuck up.”

Now he was really pissed off. He pushed Spock out of the way and finished suturing the wound by himself. He applied a healing gel and left instructions to M’Benga.

After he finished, he took Spock’s arm – he still had the death glare – and left Sickbay.

 

He closed the door of Spock’s quarters.

“We’ll stay right here until tomorrow. And you will eat and sleep and stop thinking about that son of a bitch. He talks that shit to make you lose control and punch him in the face, so that he can press charges! You do realize that – yes?”

Spock took off his blue shirt and went to the bathroom, where he washed his face with cold water – something he didn’t usually do, as he disliked cold temperatures. He returned and sat on the couch.

“Come here.”

“Spock – “

“Come here, I said.”

Leonard complied as a turmoil of emotions was tearing his soul apart.

He sat near him, not very close.

But Spock took his arm and pulled him closer, he was much stronger and Leonard – even though he wasn’t what you would call a _fragile_ man – was like a doll in his hands.

He slowly put one arm over Leonard’s shoulders, leaning him against his chest and with the other hand he turned his head towards himself, so that he could look into his eyes. He placed his fingers on the psi points and dived into his mind, slowly, greedily, as if it was his only refuge, wanting to know everything, anything, wanting to embrace Leonard’s mind completely. The _bond_ glittered spectacularly as a result of the total communion.

Leonard relaxed in his arms and closed his eyes; he felt Spock become less tense, calmer, like a lake after the storm when waves are settling down and the water is once again clear.

They stayed like that for a long time, without talking, Spock’s fingers on his face, in a meld that could last forever.

Leonard opened his eyes.

He took Spock’s hand from his face and kissed each of his fingers, slowly, delicately. It was no lust in that gesture; it was love in its purest form, luminous and bright.

“Your eyes are no longer deadly”, he whispered.

“The Reman enjoys challenging me. However, your presence helps me regain control over my emotions, Leonard.”

“I, of all people.”

“Indeed…”

Leonard was lost in his eyes.

Very cautiously he wrapped one arm around Spock’s neck, pulling him closer.

“No, Leonard.”

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously:
> 
> Leonard was lost in his eyes.
> 
> Very cautiously he wrapped one arm around Spock’s neck, pulling him closer.
> 
> “No, Leonard.”

His heart sank and he wanted to distance from Spock, but the Vulcan still had his arm around his shoulders and held him in place.

“Why?”- he asked and his soul was trembling.

“Because Jim will arrive in 17 seconds.”

“How’d you know that? Can you see through the door?” – he felt insecure, angry, hurt. And relieved. It was only because Jim was coming.

“Yes,” Spock said calmly and after a few seconds the door chimed. He let Leonard go with obvious regret. “Come.”

Jim came in, followed by Chekov.

Spock stood up.

“Spock, Bones, how are you guys feeling?”

Jim looked confused and upset. He was still trying to embrace the whole thing.

“Adequate, Captain, thank you.”

“Look who I brought.”

Chekov was near the door, looking shyly at Spock, his cheeks red.           

Leonard got up lazily from the couch and went to replicate drinks, a few meters away.

“Jim, what are you doing with those padds in your hand?”

“Uh, they’re for you and Spock.”

“No, nonono. No more work. Commander Spock is absolutely off-duty. What are these anyways?”

“Diplomatic protocols.”

“Can’t they wait? Scotch would be okay?”

“Would be great, thanks. And no, they can’t.”

Spock supervised their discussion for a bit and decided it was well within parameters, with Leonard being belligerent and Jim being – himself, and turned his gaze toward Chekov.

“Pavel – come to me, please.”

The young man approached Spock and he didn’t know why his hands were trembling so.

Spock invited to sit down on the couch and sat near him.

“How was the shift?”

“Iz difficult, Kommander, when you arr not zere. I stay at your station.”

“Anything to report from the Science department?”

“Zey are weiting for your instrucssions regarding ze experiments. Are you and ze Doktor feeling better?”

“Yes, we are well now, Pavel. And we thank you for all you did.”

“I waz very afraid.”

“That is why you called my Father?”

“Pleeze forgive me, Kommander. I knew you would be upset.”

“I am not upset.”

“No??”

“However” – and he placed his left hand on Chekov’s upper back – “I would like to see the conversation.”

“Do you want me to download it for you?”

“I will take it from inside your mind, should you agree.”

“Oh, Kommander, take what you want from my mind.”

Spock touched his face and gently went through his thoughts.

_Ambassador Sarek, ssory to disturb you Sir. My name is Pavel Andreievich Chekov, I am ze navigator of ze Enterprise._

_Has something happened to my Son?_

_Yes, Sir._

_Explain!_

_Kommander Spock has a mental link with someone here –_

_You mean – a bond. I sensed it._

_Yes, yes, a bond._

_What is the name of the person?_

_Leonard McCoy, he is ze Doktor of Enterprise._

_I know who he is._

_…and something iz wrong, zey must be in ze same room or zey lose cons- conchusness._

_Has this happened?_

_Yes, now iz happened. Zey are now okey, Kommender Spock woke up._

_Was your Captain not aware?_

_I will communicate with him immediately. Pavel Chekov, you also share a bond with my son – a parental bond. I can sense it._

_Yes, Sir._

_I am grateful for your call. I look forward to meeting you. Sarek out._

 

Spock kept the meld for a bit longer, wandering through the young man’s thoughts and showing him care and gratitude.

“I will cry.” – Pavel announced.

“Is that good or bad, Bones?” – Jim asked.

“I have no idea. And I have no hypos for crying. I don’t know what he’s doing to him.”

“Is it – you know, painful?”

Leonard looked for a second into his friend’s eyes. Then looked downwards.

“Oh. Right.” – Jim concluded. It was painful alright.

 

When Spock ended the meld, there were tears on Chekov’s face – he wiped them away.

Leonard promptly placed a huge glass of orange juice into the kid’s hands.

“Drink.”- he ordered.

“Is this wodka?”

“It’s vodka alright.”

Pavel drank without any other comments, cuddled near Spock. Leonard leaned against the desk and Jim sat on a chair near the couch.

“Commander, how is your Romulan?”

“It is adequate, Captain. I can speak standard Romulan and the southern dialect. Why do you ask?”

“Because you will have to conduct the intermediary discussions between us, the Remans and the Romulan senate.

“I believe Lieutenant Uhura would be more appropriate for this role, Captain, she speaks fluid Romulan, whereas I may make syntax errors…”

“I already proposed it to the Romulan high council. They are asking for you.”

“Oh. I shall have to prepare.”

“Anything you need, you’ll have it.”

“Full access to the Romulan linguistic database. But, Captain, what about the Reman Emperor? He does not appreciate my presence. And he is the key-person.”

“Well, uh…I was hoping… that Bones could…”

“I hate this already”, said Leonard.

“… and I concur”, Spock added.

“Spock, Bones, really now. I know you’re not crazy about the guy but there’s a lot at stake! Peace in entire quadrant depends on those discussions!”

“So what exactly must Leonard do?”

“Be a little…. You know… friendly?”

“Friendly, Captain? With someone who threatened him, tortured him and wanted to blow the Enterprise up?”

“That’s the plan, yeah.”

“No.” – said Spock, on a resolute tone.

“Spock… really… all he has to do is to convince AnJoan Grey to accept you as a mediator.”

“Hmmm… “, Leonard murmured – “I can very well blackmail him as I’ve already done.”

“You WHAT??”

“I blackmailed him – he wants the Phage vaccine, I will give it to him if and when I want.”

“There **is** no Phage vaccine, Bones, are you crazy?”

“There is now.”

“Where the hell is it?”

“In here”, said Leonard and pointed to his forehead.

“Bones, please don’t blackmail him anymore, okay? You will go and ask him nicely to accept Spock as a mediator.”

“He will **not** ”, said Spock, his eyes darkening progressively.

Even Jim felt a cold shiver. He stood up, trying to ignore Spock’s deadly glare, and looked at Leonard.

“Bones?”

Leonard was hovering through the room and looked really upset.

“Sorry, Jim. I will do what Spock decides.” With those words, he placed a hand, gently, on Spock’s shoulder – the Vulcan was still sitting on the couch.

A powerful blast of light passed through the bond, from Spock to Leonard.

“I am sorry to inform you, Bones, but Spock is not the Captain of this bloody ship!”

“Keptin” – said Chekov. “I will konvince mister Emperor to accept.”

Three pairs of eyes fixed him.

“NO.” – three voices responded in unison.

“Yes, do not vorry. I did zis before.”

“Did what, convinced Remans to accept Vulcans as mediators in diplomatic missions?”

“No, much more diffikult.”

“You mean??” – Jim didn’t know if he should laugh or slap him hard.

“In ze Academy I conwinced a Romulan and a Klingon to dance togezer. Zey were both men.”

“I must say.” – Leonard added, hardly convinced.

“Is this even true?” – Jim wanted to know.

“I would not tell lies so close to Kommander Spock.”

“Oh, thanks!” – Jim added. “I presume you have no problem telling lies when you’re close to **me**.”

“No problem, Keptin,” – he responded innocently which made Jim and Leonard laugh with tears and Spock’s eyes became milder.

“Okey, so let me try, if doezn’t work, we try something else.”

“I don’t know if your **father** here approves?” – he said in a casually sarcastic tone, looking to Spock.

“I approve”, Spock said calmly, as if it was the most normal thing in the universe – and Jim really wanted to punch him in the face or rip his ears off or something.

“I go now” – he said and jumped to his feet.

Spock also stood up, and Jim could have sworn that the Vulcan looked nervous.

“Wait, kid. Kirk to security, send me 6 security officers to Commander Spock’s quarters. You will accompany Mr. Chekov to Sickbay and stay with him the whole time.”

“Acknowledged, Captain.”

Chekov left with the security team.

“So lemme get this straight, Spock. You would leave your own son – negotiate with a dangerous creature, but you would not let Bones.”

“I would not.”

“Rrrright. Am I missing something here?”

“I believe that my Father has explained clearly, Captain.”

“No, Spock, your Father has provided me with **instructions** , you know. Do this, do that.”

“Are you going to follow them, Captain?”

“Are you kidding? He’s Ambassador Sarek! He can court-martial me for the slightest protocol mistake!”

“That is true.”

“And don’t defend him, okay?”

“I was merely acknowledging a fact.”

 

“Hellow your Majesty” – said Chekov.

“Hello, young one. What is it that you wish?”

“I wish to tell you, Sir, zat when we arrive, you know – at Romulus, Kommander Spock will conduct ze negotiations and ze translation between Romulus and you and ze Federation.”

“Why him? You surely have more pleasant options. For example, the Doctor.”

“You wouldn’t like zat, Sir. He doesn’t speak Romulan and ze Romulans only like Kommander Spock.”

“They surely have bad taste.”

“Plleeeze Sir, will you accept? Meanwhile, I am sure zat all ze tension will – dissipate.”

“You are awfully innocent, young man. What is your name?”

“Pavel Andreievich Chekov, your Majesty.”

“You have good manners, Pavel Andreievich.”

“So do you – I mean, thank you, Sir. Please will you accept?”

Chekov gazed at the Reman with his beautiful, crystal-clear blue eyes. He was the embodiment of purity.

 “You love that Vulcan bastard too, isn’t it?”

“…too? You mean you love him too???”

The Reman laughed, the boy was incredibly amusing.

“My dear boy… they should put you in charge with all ambassadorial missions on this ship. Go tell that arrogant commander of yours that I agree – but only because you asked me to.”

“Zenk you!”

Chekov bowed over the Reman and kissed him on his left cheek – which left Grey absolutely perplexed.

 

Then he rushed back to Spock’s quarters and announced triumphantly:

“I have done it.”

“Wow that didn’t take long.” – Jim commented. “What did he say?”

“Yes.”

“He said yes?”

“Yes!”

“You mean he’ll agree to Spock as a mediator?”

“Yes.”

“What the hell did you tell him??” – Jim wanted to know.

Spock went towards Pavel who started walking backwards.

“I would rather not say and please don’t look, Kommander.”

“Pavel, come here.”

“Pplease Kommander?”

“Now, Pavel.”

Chekov ran into Leonard as he was walking backwards, who wrapped his arms around him and held him still.

“This is important, kid. Let the Commander see.”

The young man sighed and closed his eyes.

Spock touched his face for only a second, enough to perceive the entire conversation – his eyes widened in astonishment.

“Well?” – Jim asked impatiently.

“I would summarize… as successful, Captain. Pavel Chekov is an excellent negotiator, although a bit… unorthodox… I will start refreshing my Romulan right away.”

“Good. Okay, Chekov, let’s leave these two people work.”

 

Spock downloaded all the Romulan language courses that he could find in the ship’s database to his padd and started reading carefully, repeating phrases in his mind, eyes closed. The Romulan language was among the most difficult in the quadrant, with endless voices, moods, tenses and plural forms, not to speak of the pronunciation. The slightest mistake was known to offend the Romulans who never bothered to learn Standard English and did not use the universal translator. You wanted to speak to a Romulan? You had to speak **in** Romulan.

Leonard let him work peacefully and went back to his Anatomy Treatise.

The _bond_ was alive, warm and beautiful and never in his life had Leonard felt so in love.

***

 

**Hands up if you adore Chekov!**

**Next Chapter on Thursday.**

**Love,**

**(ok, maybe not exactly _love_ )**

**AnJoan Grey**


	19. Chapter 19

The following days, Leonard stayed on the Bridge during Spock’s shift and Spock stayed in Sickbay during Leonard’s. People got used to them being inseparable; rumors about them “being together” were, of course, circulating throughout the Ship. Even Jim was curious as to what the two of them were doing when they were alone.

Little of the day was left after both their shifts were over and they retired to Spock’s quarters. Leonard was reading huge treatises opened throughout the bed and on the floor, taking notes. Spock was rehearsing speeches in Romulan and was exasperated by the chaos Leonard was spreading around the room.

“Could you put these 3 books away if you are finished with them?”

“No”, Leonard said absently.

“Le-o-nard!”

“Okay”, he mumbled.

“Okay what?”

“Whatever you say.”

“Leonard, you do not listen.”

“Not yet.”

Spock gave up and made a path through the books on the floor in order to reach the replicator.

“That’s actually awesome” – said Leonard, as if they had chatted all afternoon (they hadn’t). “Remans and Romulans have a common ancestor and the root DNA is similar, whereas Vulcans and Romulans also are related… which means, you and AnJoan Grey are actually cousins.”

Spock turned towards him slowly, with a cup of tea in his hand and a dangerous glare in his eyes.

“Okay, maybe it was a bad idea to tell you this after all.”

“A very bad idea. Now will you PLEASE remove the books from my couch?”

“Yes. Yesyes. I will.”

But instead of doing so, he impassively turned the page of the book.

“This is what you always do after your shift, Leonard?”

“Yeah.”

“You are… very passionate about your work.”

“I guess.”

“You are still not listening to anything I say.”

“Yes.”

Spock lay on the bed near him, looking curiously through the huge book that Leonard still kept open.

“Why do you not download it to your padd?”

“Nah, I am too old-fashioned. I prefer books – real books. Print editions.”

Spock looked in the direction of the door, waiting.

“What?”

“Jim is coming.”

“I must really find out how you see through solid objects.”

“I do not, Leonard. I only sense his thoughts.”

“So you know who passes down the corridor?”

“Yes.”

“That qualifies as _seeing through solid objects._ ”

Spock stood up, the door chimed and Jim entered. He had a worried look.

“Captain, what happened?”

“Nothing” – he said on a grumpy tone. “I’m just nervous. We are 6 hours away from Romulus.”

“I am well prepared, Captain.”

“I know. Rest well, okay? Be in shape tomorrow.”

“I will do so.”

“…and dress uniform, both of you.”

“Yes, Captain. How is the Emperor?”

“He’s with Chekov. Don’t worry, they are followed by the guards. Chekov designed some really awesome clothes for him. Said he copied Russian Tsar clothes.”

“God help us”, Leonard mumbled.

“Bones! I see you’ve introduced Spock to your books.”

“Yeah, it was inevitable.”

“He’s got 3 doctorates, you know?” – said Jim with admiration.

“I am aware of the Doctor’s intelligence. He also has… a lot of books.”

“Don’t disturb my books.”

“Right. Okay, then. I will leave you two to rest. I’ll come pick you up tomorrow morning at six. Oh, and… Grey wants to speak to you, Spock – before we begin.”

Leonard raised his eyes from the book.

“No kidding!”

“You two are going to be the death of me”, Jim added – and left.

Leonard returned to his reading.

He hadn’t stayed too close to Spock all day and hadn’t touched him at all, and his heat was aching strongly. He was somehow angry at himself for being so dependent on him and he was wondering what would happen when they reached New Vulcan. What if Spock decided to sever the _bond_? The thought was unbearable.

Spock carefully placed bookmarks in all Leonard’s books and gathered them in a pile near the bed. He also closed the treatise that Leonard had in front of him and put it away.

“Um, what are you doing?”

“Cleaning.”

“I was reading that!”

“No, you were not.”

Leonard gave him a rather furious look. He was feeling vulnerable and he hated it. Plus, why did he have to touch his books?

“Okay, maybe I wasn’t. I was looking at the letters, anyways!”

“You are being possessive, Leonard.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“Rest, now. We have a difficult day tomorrow and I must sleep.”

“So sleep.”

“I cannot fall asleep if the _bond_ is so – how shall I explain –“

“So bright?”

“Exactly.”

He returned to his couch and lay down.

“So I can’t read because the hobgoblin needs to sleep and the _bond_ disturbs him. What has my life become!”

“Leonard… you are talking too much. By yourself.”

“Five minutes ago you were complaining that I was not listening to you.”

“Indeed you were not. Now sleep, or I shall nerve-pinch you.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would, and you know it very well. Lights.” – he ordered, and the room went black.

Leonard closed his eyes, feeling the _bond_ fade off. He could not sleep; as soon as he felt Spock asleep, he turned on the flashlight on his padd and resumed reading.

 

“The time is o’five hundred hours”, announced the Computer.

Leonard got up and went to shower and to put on the dress uniform. While Spock was also preparing, he injected himself a caffeine-based hypo that he usually administered to people who had been overdrinking. It cleared his mind a bit.

“Want one too?” – he asked Spock.

“Yes, please.”

“Wow, that’s new.”

Leonard injected the hypo into Spock’s neck.

Jim came to pick them up half an hour later, he was nervous.

“Spock, are you ready?”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Okay, let’s talk to the Emperor and then let’s get this over with.”

AnJoan Grey was in his designated quarters. Chekov was there too, speaking endlessly. The Reman seemed amused. He had a large black pelerine on his shoulders and black-and-gold military uniform that had indeed a Russian design.

Jim bowed lightly when he entered, and so did Spock. Leonard didn’t – he was way too… Leonard to do such a thing.

“Good morning, gentlemen. Commander Spock, a word, please.”

Spock came closer to him, while Jim and McCoy remained near the door.

“Wow, Bones, what the hell did you do all night? You look beat.”

“I read.”

“On the other hand, I don’t wanna know”.

“I said I read, you dumbhead!”

“I’m sure you did, Bonesy.”

 

“What do you wish to discuss?” – Spock asked him.

“Today after the negotiations we shall go separate ways. I would have hoped we would not be parted as enemies.”

“We are not enemies, Sir.”

“You are a perfect diplomat, Commander, but you and I know better. Your Leonard saved my life. I will not forget. If you ever need me, call me, and I will come.”

“It is most gracious of you, thank you.”

“The young Pavel Chekov is also yours?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“He expressed the desire to remain one week on Romulus to learn how to pilot a class D war-bird. After the negotiations, it will be possible. Will you allow him?”

“Pavel, come here.”

Chekov approached timidly.

“Yes, Kommender?”

“Do you wish to remain on Romulus for piloting lessons?”

“It wud be a great opportunity for me, Kommender.”

“We shall see with the Captain, then, after the negotiations are concluded. When we return to pick up Ensign Chekov, we shall also provide you with the Phage vaccine formula, your Majesty.”

“I would not have harmed your child, Commander… but very well. When you return.”

“If this is all, I suggest we start.”

 

It began with the visit of AnJoan Grey on Remus – the twin planet of Romulus – where the Emperor was greeted by an enthusiast crowd of Remans who had long missed a Leader. He took the command of the army and ordered a cease fire with Romulus, thus establishing an atmosphere of trust between the three worlds. Romulus had been at war with Remus since forever; a break in the hostilities was such a new experience that the Romulans didn’t even know how to react to it.

Spock initiated a video transmission with the Romulan high council.

After the formal greetings – all in Romulan – he explained:

“As you can see, his Majesty AnJoan Grey – that we have brought with us – has already ceased hostilities with Romulus. We suggest that we commence peace negotiations between Romulus and the Federation; Remus will be granted full citizenship. We would be honored to welcome Romulus to the Federation at the same time – as it should be.”

The Romulan Praetor stood up:

“How do we know that all this is not one of the Federation’s tricks?”

“Praetor, you are aware of the fact that I am Vulcan.”

“I know who you are, Spock, son of Sarek.”

“Therefore you know that a Vulcan never lies.”

“Yes, your species is known for its honesty and integrity. Very well. We require 3 of your hours for a recess. When we resume, you shall have our answer. End transmission.”

“That went well” – Jim said, as he was transmitting the transcript of the discussion to Federation headquarters.

Spock sat down, looking through the room, but Leonard was already near him.

“You okay?”

“I am tired.”

“Soon we’ll finish and we’ll head to New Vulcan”, Jim said casually, but Spock’s soul twisted in pain which reflected in Leonard’s mind through the _bond_.

What could hurt so?

But they were in a room full of people and there was no way he could comfort him.

He just stayed near him as long as he could.

 

The Romulans agreed with the Federation’s proposal, under the condition that the Reman Emperor takes a Romulan Viceroy.

Grey accepted and the three teams – the Federation, the Romulans and the Remans met for the last time to sign the treatises. Spock’s eyes were dark – he had been translating and explaining for nearly 20 earth hours, while Jim was providing him with Federation instructions.

Spock stood up and began the final discourse in Romulan, while Chekov was translating it simultaneously into Reman and into Standard English.

Leonard looked at Spock with admiration and he could not believe that he was actually able to spend time in the presence of that extraordinary being.

“Aefvadh Lloann'mhrahel,” he concluded.

But there was no hope of being left alone yet, as there was a reception and everyone wanted to talk to him and it was increasingly difficult to stay close to Leonard – and **that** was draining the life out of him.

 

“Keptin, did ze Emperor tell you about ze piloting course?”

“Yes, Chekov, he did. You want to stay? I think this will consolidate the relations between us and Romulus.”

“Yes, yes, Keptin, I want. One week.”

“Spock agrees too?”

“Yes!”

 

“Why is this man following you through the room, Commander Spock?” – the Romulan Praetor asked, pointing to Leonard.”

“This _man_ is my Doctor, Praetor.”

“Are you sick?”

_Oh I am sick of this._

“Captain, may I retire now?”

“Uh, Spock, I guess. Hopefully no one will want to speak Romulan to me, because I surely can’t handle that.”

“How soon can we proceed to New Vulcan?”

“Um, tomorrow morning?”

“Very well.”

“Are you guys… feeling sick or something?”

“The _bond_ is highly unstable. We both require help from a healer.”

Leonard wasn’t even speaking anymore. He was near Spock, gazing absently around, his sole purpose being that of abstaining from punching someone in the face.

“Bonesy?”

“M?”

“Oh, I see. Why don’t you guys retire for the evening? I will manage, and if not, your little Russian genius will help me.”

Spock did not wait for a second invitation; he looked briefly into Leonard’s eyes and proceeded to his quarters.

Leonard took the medical tricorder out of his ever-present bag and scanned Spock as they were walking on the long corridors.

“Your vitals are way off, Spock.”

“I am aware.”

“Are you gonna faint?”

“It is possible”.

When they reached the apartment, Spock collapsed on the bed, incapable of even taking off his boots.

Leonard sighed, took them off, then took off the coat of Spock’s dress uniform and injected two hypos into his neck, gently. He covered him with a warm blanket and straightened up.

“Meld – ” Spock said in a really low voice.

“Be right there.”

Leonard took a quick shower, changed clothes and came near him in bed, taking him in his arms. Spock wrapped his left arm around Leonard’s waist, and with a trembling right hand he found the meld points on his face (he could find them with his eyes closed). He needed to be there; Leonard’s mind was calling to him stronger than anything else; he wanted to be one with that mind, and he allowed Leonard to see that urge.

“Leonard…” – he whispered.

“Whatever it is that you need, Spock… take it.”

Spock went deeper inside his mind, beyond the memories, beyond the feelings, the words, the silences – until he reached the luminous essence, the foundation of all thoughts, the foundation of life itself. He felt Leonard relax in his arms and he closed his eyes and they stayed like that, without moving, for many hours.

After a while, Leonard ran his hand along Spock’s arm, slowly – then along his shoulders, the back of his neck, with long, tender gestures that were beyond desire – he simply needed to be **one** with that Being.

They looked at each other. Spock’s eyes were dark, powerful; he ran his fingers through Leonard’s hair, slowly.

“If you do this, I’ll die.” – Leonard whispered.

“Be silent.”

His fingers were still locked on Leonard’s face. He bowed his head – time slowed down spectacularly, each second lasted for ever – and he kissed Leonard gently on his lips.

Everything inside Leonard just – stopped, the _bond_ ’s brightness filling the deepest corners of his mind, love painfully splitting his soul into small pieces. Was he even alive anymore?

“Breathe, Leonard…”

Spock kissed him again, slowly, allowing him time to get used to the touch. Leonard wrapped his arm around his neck and responded to his kiss with all the passion and love he had been trying for so long to control. Spock never broke the meld, their minds were bound together – and Leonard felt that if their lips were to separate, life would simply cease. But Spock had no intention to stop, and he continued to kiss him, deeply, strongly, not allowing him much initiative.

 “Leonard – ” said Spock on a bitter tone – “when we arrive on New Vulcan, you will have **one** chance to break free from me. But know this – if you choose not to, the _bond_ will mature and you will be mine – forever. There will no turning back. And I will not – be gentle to you.”

“I will not change who I am” – Leonard answered – “but I have already made my choice. I await you.”

Spock’s eyes widened – where did Leonard know these words from? These – exact – words – the right words?

But there was no more time to investigate. The alpha shift was about to begin in roughly 30 minutes and they were close to New Vulcan.

“I will disengage the meld. It will hurt.”

And it did hurt as their minds separated and Leonard felt dizzy when the vast loneliness overwhelmed him.

 

****

(Rihanssu) _Aefvadh Lloann'mhrahel =_ "Welcome to the United Federation of Planets"

 

**Story by AJG**

Cheer if you love Leo's books!

Hands up if you died when Spock said _Be silent._

Next chapter: on Saturday


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried while I wrote this, so you owe me some tears. Drop a word.

Leonard went to dress, pulling his blue shirt over his head with slow gestures. All he could think of were Spock’s lips touching his; but what did that night mean for Spock? – Because one thing was clear – for him, there was no turning back. He wanted to be a part of Spock’s life – whatever that implied, even if that only meant mind melds. Whatever Spock wanted – or needed – he was ready to give. Will he receive anything in return? Will that _anything_ be enough?

The emptiness – the mind-splitting emptiness he felt after Spock disengaged the six-hour meld from the previous night – made him also realize the emptiness in his life. He used to fill his time with double or triple shifts and with extra-study: his books – to avoid thinking of the blackness that had surrounded him life for so long. His life was only medicine. But life could not be only medicine and for the first time in years he stopped running – from himself – and he contemplated the blank pages in his soul.

“Spock?”

“Yes, Leonard.”

Spock was sorting out his padds for the beginning of the shift.

“Will they separate us? On New Vulcan?”

“No, they are aware of our special situation.”

“Will it hurt?”

“It will.”

“Is it dangerous for you?”

Spock got up from the couch, with the padds in his hand.

“We must report to the bridge.”

“Okay…”

 

Leonard followed him to the bridge, there was tension between them, there was something unspoken, and he hated that.

“Good morning!” – Jim said cheerfully. “We are on orbit around New Vulcan, gentlemen. How long do you think you will be down there, Commander Spock?”

“I cannot anticipate, Sir. It would be wise that we take a shuttlecraft and we meet the Enterprise when we are finished.”

_When we are finished_ – those words made Leonard’s soul twist in pain.

Uncertainty started to overwhelm him. What if Spock didn’t want him anymore – or even worse, at all?

What if the _bond_ had been simply necessary to save the Enterprise and had been but a burden to Spock? After all, they never really liked each other – or better said, Spock didn’t – because he –

_Who’s that pointy-eared bastard?_

_I don’t know – but I like him._

Spock slowly turned towards him; Leonard’s emotions were flowing through the _bond_ like a tidal wave.

“Doctor?”

“Yes, Commander?” – he replied on a sarcastic tone, giving him a dreadful look.

“We are going.”

“Okay. Bye, Jim.”

Jim was worried. Bones had never been so monosyllabic and in such a dark mood. He hoped that everything would be alright and that Spock would take good care of him.

The two of them left and he retook his chair. The Bridge seemed empty without Bones, Spock and Chekov. He felt uneasy.

 

Spock pointed to the navigation console of the shuttlecraft, while he took the helm.

Leonard sat down without a word. After having navigated the Enterprise through a wormhole full of debris, the navigation console had become as familiar as the Sickbay for him.

“Do you wish to speak about what is bothering you, Leonard?”

“No. Entering the atmosphere. Twenty thousand meters.”

Spock didn’t say anything else until they landed. Just before they opened the shuttle door, Spock grabbed one of McCoy’s wrists and turned him towards himself.

“You have – changed your mind?”

“What’s the matter, Spock, are you feeling uncertain?”

“I am asking you.”

“Does it hurt?”

“It does.”

“Good!”

Leonard pushed the switch for the door release.

“If you please, Commander”, he said with a large gesture – and Spock **felt** his heart sinking.

Sarek approached them. He was accompanied by other members of their family, all dressed in beautiful purple robes. He greeted them ceremoniously.

“Leonard McCoy, I am pleased to meet you once more.”

“Hello, Ambassador.” – he said on an obviously hostile tone. “Let’s begin, okay?”

The Ambassador’s eyes shifted towards his son.

_My son, what is happening? There is much darkness._

_My life may very well end today, Father._

The two men were taken to the katric ark.

“Leonard McCoy, you must change into a robe.” – one of the priests told him.

“I won’t. I am a Starfleet Officer and that’s how I plan to stay, ritual or not ritual.”

They weighed his words; Sarek nodded in approval. It was a difficult moment for the human – and a critical one for his son.

“Do you wish for me to explain what will happen?”

“No. Just – let’s get this over with.”

“Very well. Follow Spock to the chamber of the Great Priestess T’Pau.

Spock lead the way – he also kept his Starfleet Uniform. His steps were heavy and he had the distinct impression he was climbing the steps to his doom.

 

T’Pau was seated on a high chair but she stood up when the two men approached her. Spock bowed deeply, taking a few deep breaths, and went forward. Behind them, Sarek clenched his hands together.

“Why have you come?” – T’Pau asked, her voice betrayed no emotion – cold, merciless, like a living statue.

“I have come to have my _bond_ with this human assessed by You. I have initiated it without his consent and I fear I have greatly damaged his mind – and his life.”

“Why have you bonded with this human, Spock, son of Sarek?”

“It was necessary – to save his life, the lives of my crewmen and – my life as well.”

“Do you wish to have this _bond_ dissolved?”

Spock put one knee down – it was the most critical question a Vulcan could have been asked during his entire life.

“I do not. But I am willing, if his life is in danger.”

He did not? Did – not?

“What about _your life_ , Spock, son of Sarek?”

“I will not answer, T’Pau.”

T’Pau looked down at him for a while. She placed her palm on Spock’s forehead and dived deep into his thoughts.

She removed her hand after a few minutes and McCoy could have sworn she looked angry.

She turned towards him.

“Leonard, son of David.”

Leonard’s eyes were bright, powerful, as if he was facing a dangerous enemy.

“Yes?”

“Come closer.”

“If you expect me to kneel, then you’re in for a surprise.”

“Pride is the demon that lives in both of you” – she said harshly. “Why have you come here?”

“I’ve come with Spock.”

“I have asked _why_ , not with _whom._ ”

“…I don’t know.” – he said, and it was an honest answer. “Spock says that the _bond_ is defective and it must be dissolved.”

“Do you believe it is defective?”

“I don’t believe that at all.”

“Has it damaged your mind?”

“My mind is fine, thank you.”

“Has it affected your life?”

“It has **changed** my life.”

“Explain!”

“It made it rich and beautiful and I won’t say anything else.”

“I will meld with you” – she said and came closer to him, but Leonard made a step back.

“You won’t. Spock is the only Vulcan I’ve melded with and I don’t plan to change that. My thoughts belong to him only. If you want to tell me something – or better yet, to explain what the hell is going on here, then you will have to use **words**.”

Spock stood up, his eyes widened in shock. Leonard was defying the High Priestess of Vulcan – but the reason behind his actions was –

“I will forgive your impertinence only because you are Human and unaware of the Vulcan ways. Leonard, son of David! The _bond_ you share with Spock, son of Sarek – is the _T’hy’la_ _bond_ , the rarest and most revered _bond_ in our world. He – and she pointed towards Spock – has linked your soul to his through the bond of the highest purity. And you responded to it. It has not happened in thousands of years.”

“What exactly do you mean?” – Leonard’s voice started to tremble slightly.

“Spock created this _bond_ to save your life. Had it not found a response in yourself, it would have been easily dissolved. But you obeyed him. You knelt in front of him. You kissed his hand. You put your life in his hands. You love him. Your love for him is – boundless. It is your love that nourished the _bond_.”

McCoy stopped breathing for a few moments. She was whipping him with each sentence.

Spock could not even move anymore, his eyes were dark, impenetrable, looking at Leonard as if he was seeing him for the last time.

“You submitted to his will, Leonard, son of David. You have done so without being forced to. You considered him your master. You even called him so. When love dawned, it placed its roots in the very essence of the _bond_ , in each of your _katras_ and it tied your minds and your lives together no matter how hard had Spock tried to prevent the _bond_ from growing.”

“That says a lot about the one-sidedness of those feelings.”

“Leonard, son of David!” – her voice was like a thunder – “Your pride is only matched by your ignorance. Are you blind?”

Leonard had the distinct feeling that the blood in his veins solidified.

Was there any chance that Spock loved him? Was he willing to bet his life – their lives – on that small possibility? And if he didn’t – would his love just – cease to exist?

T’Pau approached him even more:

“I will expose you the possibilities and you will choose, Leonard McCoy, and you will leave afterwards.”

 “What… are… the possibilities?”

“I will dissolve the _bond_. You will leave. HE will – “

“I do not wish for him to know that,” – Spock interrupted abruptly.

“He will what?” – Leonard insisted.

“You will never see him again.”

_He will die_ – that was what she wanted to say? That was it? Spock will die?

“What is the second possibility?”

“I will mature the _bond_. You will be his – forever, his servant, his lover, his mate, whatever he wishes to do with you. A single breath you will take without his permission, the _bond_ will collapse. This is the nature of the T’hy’la _bond_ – you will be **subject** to him.”

“This has happened before” – Leonard remembered with a cold shiver. “The _bond_ did collapse.”

“I know everything. Now you will make your choice, Leonard, son of David.”

“I wish for the _bond_ to be severed momentarily – so that I may choose free of its calling.”

T’Pau looked at Spock, who nodded in agreement.

She came between them – they were facing the altar, she was standing with her back towards the altar. She took Leonard’s right hand and Spock’s left hand.

_“Tel in’sna_ ”[1] – she said on a solemn tone.

 

Leonard felt everything inside him breaking up, dissolving – his life like a fragile spider-web being torn apart. Dissolution.

T’Pau had made a few steps back and she was looking at them. Spock did not even move, he was frozen in his place, looking at him, his lips were pale and his eyes darker than ever.

Leonard felt a cold loneliness creeping in, and life tasted like death.

He knew all of a sudden – he would survive without the _bond_ – somehow – but Spock could not. He was about to kill Spock.

He turned towards him and took his hands – they were cold and trembling.

He slowly knelt in front of Spock and looked deeply into his eyes.

There was hardly anyone breathing in the katric ark – and even T’Pau shivered.

“The High Priestess is wrong, Spock. I don’t love you. I adore and worship you – you are my entire life. I wanted you to know this outside the _bond_ , to know that I have long chosen you – freely, willingly. And I am ready to do anything for you, whatever you ask and need.”

Spock squeezed his hands hard, with despair – and Leonard heard the metacarpals breaking. He ignored the sharp pain.

“Swear…” – Spock whispered.

“I swear, Spock. And whatever place you want to give me in your life, so be it. I ask of you to remake the _bond_ and mature it.”

Spock placed his fingers on the meld points and Leonard felt life returning in luminous torrents, their minds once again together, their souls – one, the essence of their consciousnesses merging. They were no longer two separate beings.

T’Pau came closer to them again:

“Stand up, proud human” – she told him.

Leonard removed Spock’s hand from his face and kissed it as if he wanted to seal the oath he had just taken – then he stood up, fighting hard not to give in to the weakness that started to overtake him.

T’Pau took their hands again:

_“Tel vin-tor” **[2]**_ – she said. “You have chosen well, Leonard McCoy. And so have you – Spock, son of Sarek.”

 

Then, everything went black.

He woke up in a warm room; everything inside him was hurting. He was on a mattress covered with a silk cloth, with geometric ornaments that he vaguely recognized as Vulcan. Spock was near him, holding both his wrists, he seemed asleep – or unconscious?

His hands were bandaged and they were hurting and he could not remember what happened.

He raised his head and looked around in the search of his small medical bag, to reach for his tricorder – but as soon as he moved, Spock opened his eyes.

The _bond_ flared to life with such violence that Leonard struggled to breathe.

“Spock… How… how do you feel?”

“Alive”, he said simply.

Leonard felt tears filling his eyes.

“You would have died.”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I wanted you to choose freely – just as you wanted the _bond_ severed to confess your feelings for me freely.”

“T’Pau was surely right, we are both proud and stubborn individuals.”

“That – we are.”

“You didn’t know that I loved you, Spock?”

“I knew, Leonard… but I thought it was only an effect of the bonding. I could not have endured that.”

“Spock…”

“Yes, my Leonard…”

Spock was still holding both his wrists in a tight, possessive grip.

“Do I have any chance?”

“To what?”

“To your heart.”

Spock looked deeply into his eyes.

“You swore…”

“I know what I swore, Spock. I am simply asking you.”

Spock came closer to him, he found the psi points on Leonard’s face without even looking and closed his eyes for a moment. For the first time, he allowed Leonard inside his mind – and there was an immense ocean of love there.

“Oh, Lord...” – he whispered. “Forgive me, Spock – “

Spock bowed and kissed him deeply, for a long time, and love flew through the _bond_ both ways.

_Forgive me for ever doubting you._

_All is forgiven, ashayam._

Leonard wanted to wrap one arm around his neck but Spock stopped him, easily holding his wrists together with one hand.

“Don’t… you want?”

Spock broke the meld gently – in order to look into his eyes.

“Want… what?”

“To do more than kissing…”

“If I want, Leonard… I will take what is mine. But right now, both your hands are broken. I do not want to risk further injury.”

“What!”

And it was only then when Leonard became aware of the stinging pain in both his hands.

“What the hell happened?”

“I broke them”, Spock said sorrowfully. “Right before you swore…”

“Oh… ohhh.”

Leonard remembered.

“Next time, try not to break my hands, okay? I’m a doctor, dammit.”

“I apologize.”

“What are these bandages?”

“Our healer applied a numbing agent. I did not allow any other treatment without your expertise. Your hands are… most important.”

“Spock, I need an osteo-regen.”

“I have already asked but we do not have this tool here. We will rendez-vous with the Enterprise in the sector 10.45 if we leave in 2 hours.”

“Okay. Um… did I say lots of bad stuff to your High Priestess?”

“Lots. Of.”

“Is she really mad at me?”

“She is… how should I put it – surprised. Everyone obeys her every word. You practically **defied** her every word.”

“Oh well. Shit.”

“Indeed.”

Leonard smiled.

“I am truly sorry for this, but I have already told you that I’m Leonard McCoy and I don’t plan to change that.”

“I will not ask you to change who you are. You are ruthless, Leonard McCoy, you are a rogue soul – and **you are mine**.”

[1] _“This bond is severed”_ – in Vulcan

 

[2] _“This bond has matured”_ \- in Vulcan

 

**Story by AJG**

**Next on Stardate 2015.05.04**

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "How should I put it mildly, if I want you, I will have you and that is the end of it."

Leonard felt helpless with his broken hands. Spock had a tight grip on his upper arm and he took him to the shuttle after they said goodbye to Sarek.

“Um, Spock, before we take off, scan my hands with the tricorder in my med-bag, please? Wanna know how bad it is.”

“It is bad.”

“Thank you, Doctor Spock, but I really want a tricorder reading.”

Spock gave him a gloomy look but as soon as they closed the shuttle door he scanned his hands and showed him the display. He was very upset about that.

“Huh,” Leonard grinned. “You broke **every** bone in my hands! The phalanges are broken in three places! Fuck.”

“I am very sorry, Leonard.”

“Yeah well, next time break one of my legs! I can’t even help you with the navigation. How strong are you, anyways?”

“Sit down.”

Leonard sat at the navigation console even though he could not touch any of the controls. Spock pulled the seat belt over his chest and went to his console. His every gesture – always precise, never hesitating – was making his soul twist.

“So, what’s next?”

“What are you referring to, Leonard?” – Spock asked while they were taking off – he was operating the controls elegantly as if he had been a pilot all his life.

“What are we going to do on the Enterprise?”

“We are going to take care of your hands.”

“God help me with the literal Vulcans! I mean – our lives, Spock? How do you see things? What are we gonna tell Jim? ‘Cause that’s one nosey kid, he’ll want to know all the details.”

Spock did not answer right away because he had to pay attention to the controls as the shuttlecraft was exiting the planet’s atmosphere.

“We will – have to spend time together as before, at least for a while. The _bond_ is new and we can not  be separated yet. After a few weeks we’ll be able to be in different rooms.”

“I don’t wanna be in different rooms.”- Leonard protested, and he really meant it.

“Me neither.”

He could not say anything else for a few minutes because that _Me neither_ was, in fact, the equivalent of _I love you_ – and his heat ached with happiness.

“So… will we be sharing quarters?” – Leonard continued his interrogatory.

“Yes, yours or mine.”

“How about mine? They’re closer to Sickbay and I really need to be in the vicinity.”

“That is – logical. I will move my things once your hands are healed.”

“What about the gossip?”

“You do not strike me as a person who puts much value on gossip, Leonard.”

“I don’t, but you are the First Officer.”

“I do not care, Leonard.”

“Wow, that’s… blunt. Okay! That’s rather cool.”

“You did not seem to worry this much before, Leonard.”

“I don’t worry at all, Spock. I am discussing administrative issues. It’s best we sort them out now while we are still alone.”

“Your logic becomes more and more impressive.”

“Are ya makin’ fun of me?”

Because Leonard could swear that he saw the beginning of a smile.

“Under no circumstances” – Spock said and turned towards Leonard to look at him – and he **smiled**. It was such an unexpected view that Leonard actually skipped a heartbeat.

“Wow” – he whispered, lost in the Vulcan’s eyes. “That’s – you’re –“

Spock set the route to rendezvous with the Enterprise and connected the automated pilot.

He stood up and came to Leonard, looking down to him – Leonard was seated and had the seatbelt on, which he could not remove by himself due to his injuries.

Spock ran his long fingers through Leonard’s hair, slowly, with controlled passion.

“You are going to drive me mad.” – Leonard announced.

Spock bowed and kissed him gently.

“What was the next administrative issue on the list, Leonard?”

“I … forgot. When were you saying that“ – Leonard said between the kisses – “we can do more? I mean… do you want to do more?”

“Yes, Leonard, I want.”

“But… Waita’ minute… what about Nyota? I thought you were together?”

Spock felt a really cold shiver. He pulled back and sat at the helm console.

“What? Did I say somethin’ wrong?”

“No… I… completely forgot about Nyota. I must speak with her as soon as we arrive.”

“What are you going to tell her?”

“The truth, Leonard.”

“That – being?”

“… being that I must be with you.”

“Boy you sure know how to confess your feelings. Okay, now on to the next question… what do you wanna tell Jim?”

“That we must not be separated.”

“This is getting difficult. Spock, the _bond_ that we share, is it the equivalent of marriage?”

“No, Leonard. That is something entirely different. In a marriage _bond_ , the partners are equal. Whereas in the t’hy’la _bond_ , one of the partners is dominant. And it is no longer necessary to superimpose a marriage _bond_ , because, how should I put it mildly, if I want you, I will have you and that is the end of it.”

“Um, okay.”

“You are being remarkably calm about this.”

“I trust you with my life, Spock. But I think we should get married – or overlap the marriage _bond_ of your planet, which is recognized throughout the Federation.”

“Leonard, what exactly are you saying?”

“Uh… well… I am asking you to marry me.”

Spock’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t know what your opinion is, but we’re Starfleet officers and there are chances we’re going to be separated sooner or later.”

“Ah… you are right. I will consider it.”

“Jim will be upset – just thought you should know that.”

“Why would the Captain be upset?”

“Um… he loves you?”

“He does not.”

“Spock. He loves you.”

“How do you know?”

“I’m his best friend. He told me.”

“I do not return his feelings. Leonard, is there someone in your life –?”

“What, like a lover? No.”

“If I ever find out – “

“Spock, stop. You’ve melded with my mind for endless hours. Couldn’t you see? There is no one but you.”

“I did not look at this particular aspect.”

“Then come and look.”

“There is no need, Leonard. I have asked you and you said no. I know very well it is the truth.”

“How can you be sure?”

“If you lied to me, Leonard – and I strongly advise against – the _bond_ would collapse.”

“Would I die?”

“We would both die.”

Leonard felt cold all of a sudden.

“Spock, tell me everything. I don’t wanna screw something up. Our lives depend on **me**?

“They depend on your ability to keep your oath, and on mine – to prevent you from breaking it.”

“In other words, you will try not to ask me to do impossible things.”

“I would never ask for an impossible thing, nor for something against our duty as Starfleet officers. However, you will be aware – every moment – that you belong to me.”

“I already am… anyways!! Can we still fight?” – Leonard asked with a mischievous smile.

Spock raised an eyebrow and Leonard started to laugh.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“What is so amusing?”

“I am happy, Spock.”

Spock made a brief course correction to avoid passing through a field of asteroids.

“I am… happy too, Leonard.” – he added after a while.

That particular statement left Leonard breathless. Spock – was happy? It was more than he could ever imagine, that he could dream of.

He wanted to hold Spock tight in his arms, even with his broken fingers, he wanted to feel him inside his mind again, for many hours, he wanted –

There was a thirst that consumed him, desperate, overwhelming.

ENTERPRISE TO SHUTTLECRAFT ONE, COME IN.

“Spock here.” – he said, zooming back into the Starfleet officer mode.

“Commander Spock” – Uhura’s voice made Spock uneasy all of a sudden – “I wish to inform you that we shall be three hours late, we are having a medical emergency.”

Leonard hit a control and made a grimace of pain.

“What medical emergency??”

“We have received orders to assist the Trillian colony on Velara IV, they are in need of cordrazine. There is nothing to worry about. We apologize for being late.”

“We understand. Spock out.”

“Wow you’re not very chatty with the girl”, Leonard observed.

“Indeed.”

Spock made a quick scan of the sector and fired port thrusters. There was a small moon, catalogued under M22, a few hundred kilometers away. He plotted a course that way and landed the shuttle on the barren rock.

 

When the engines stopped, he unlocked Leonard’s seat belt, took his arm carefully and pulled him up as if he weighed nothing.

“What are we doing?”

“Since the Enterprise is late, we might as well rest for a while. I presume you do not mind sharing a bed with me?”

“Only if you promise not to sleep on the couch anymore when we get to our ship.”

“I had no intention to continue doing so. Computer, lights at 15%.”

The lights dimmed; Spock helped Leonard lay down and came near him, wrapping his arms around him.

He kissed him gently a few times, then with more and more passion, he could not have enough of him. He took Leonard’s wrists and placed them above his head, holding them with one hand, with care not to touch his broken fingers. With the other hand, he caressed his face, his lips, his hair, with slow gestures. Leonard smiled, love was flowing through the _bond_ like a river, all glowing, overwhelming – he felt like crying.

_I am so in love._

“Spock?”

Spock looked into his eyes, waiting.

“Meld… please.”

He immediately felt Spock’s fingers on his face and his presence in his mind and he felt – complete. There was a time when he dreaded the mind-melds; he could not believe that he had just asked Spock to do that. He knew that the meld was essential for Spock’s well-being; he never knew it would become essential for him as well.

Leonard brought forward all the memories of his past love life – he wanted Spock to know everything about him: Jocelyn, his first love, his wife, all the sorrow he lived when she had cheated on him, the horrifying divorce, giving up everything, enlisting in Starfleet – to forget. Meeting Jim – hanging out together –

He felt Spock lingering on that memory, as if he wanted to know all the details of his relationship with Jim – to know if – ever –

Leonard showed him everything: the way he and Jim got into the worst kind of troubles; the way they would return stumbling to their dorm after long sessions of drinking; the movies they watched together; the girls Jim talked about; the Kobayashi Maru. He felt a wave of amusement coming from Spock as they relived together the memory.

_Arm photons, prepare to fire on Klingon warbirds._

_Yes, Sir._

_Jim, their shields are still up._

_Are they?_

_No. They’re not._

Leonard guided Spock to another memory – the session to discuss Kirk’s cheating on Kobayashi Maru. It was the first time Leonard had seen Spock. It was when love began.

“This is – what is this?” – Spock asked in surprise as he could not name that immense feeling he was witnessing.

“It is called love at first sight…”

“You loved me – from the first moment?”

“I did.”

Spock looked deeper, digging through his mind and aware of the pain he was causing, wanting to know everything, everything. He lost track of time, he – who had a perfect internal chronometer; all he wanted was to feel Leonard’s mind and his lips – all he ever wanted.

A short tremor of the shuttle startled both of them.

Spock needed a few seconds to reconnect himself to reality and to raise his head. He disengaged the meld abruptly, which sent a blast of pain through Leonard’s nervous system.

He went to the nacelle and had a look at the readings. Leonard got up with some difficulty and sat at navigation.

“What’s going on?”

“I am not sure. There was a mild seismic activity – “

“We are being hailed.”

Spock pressed the communication switch and – to their astonishment – a Jem‘Hadar soldier appeared on screen.

“You are trespassing on Dominion territory. You will identify yourself and explain your actions immediately.”

“I am Commander Spock of the Federation Starship Enterprise. We are to rendezvous with our ship in a few hours. We were merely… waiting here. I was not aware that this planetoid is under Dominion jurisdiction. We shall leave immediately.”

“What species are you?”

“I am a Vulcan.”

“Who else is with you?”

“My Doctor. He is Human.”

“A Doctor.” – the Jem’Hadar repeated. His name?”

“Leonard McCoy” – Spock answered with a hesitant voice. He knew very well that they did not stand any chance against a Jem’Hadar patrol. Leonard’s life –

“Lower shields and prepare to be boarded.”

Spock lowered shields reluctantly and seconds later the Jem’Hadar beamed aboard.

“Look…” – McCoy started.

“Silence!” – the Jem‘Hadar cried. I will speak with the Vulcan only. Humans are deceiving.”

Spock placed himself protectively in front of Leonard.

“Is it true that this Human has discovered the Vaccine for the Phage?”

“Wow, rumors spread fast!” – Leonard whispered.

“It is true. However the vaccine has not been – “

“Are you a telepath?”

“I am.”

The Jem’Hadar approached them and with an unexpected move he hit Spock’s head with the stock of his gun, making him collapse.

“Not anymore,” – the Jem’Hadar said and dragged MCCoy with him – who could not even scream.

 

 

 

**Story by AJG**

Next - tomorrow (Stardate 2014.05.04)

 

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I loved you with such tenderness and candor  
> And pray God grants you to be loved that way again.

**AnJoan Grey** had quickly put order into Remus’ internal and military affairs and they were enjoying the first moments of peace in hundreds of years. Diplomatic and cultural connections with Romulus had already been established and his Romulan Viceroy, Sial, was trustworthy.

Pavel Chekov was stationed on Remus and had been given a Romulan flight instructor and a medium-sized D-class war-bird, for training. His piloting lessons were progressing wonderfully – the young man was brilliant; he learnt quickly, he had amazing reflexes and his joy of life was overwhelming. He joined AnJoan Grey for dinner every night and he was friendly and ever so amusing; he looked at the Reman Emperor as no one has ever looked – with no disgust at all.

That day, AnJoan Grey decided to join Pavel Chekov on his war-bird to see how his flight lessons were progressing.

“I hope my presence will not disturb you, young one.”

“On ze Contrary, your Majesty, I em heppy! You want to observe?”

“Yes, proceed.”

“My instructor has not yet arrived.”

“I told him to monitor from Dock Control. I want to see what you can do on your own.”

“Shud’ you not bring your suite wiz you?”

“Why?”

“Well, I don’t know, meby is not approp- appropriate for an Emperor to be alone wiz an inexperienced pilot?”

“An Emperor does what he wants, young one.”

“Ooo, okey!”

“Are you afraid?”

“Of what?”

“Of being alone with me.”

“No! I am heppy. Why would I be afraid?”

“I could do very bad things to you.”

“Ooo, you had plenty of occasions until now, your Majesty. I don’t think you will start now but enyweys, if you want, I would not stand a chance against you, so why waste time with fear?”

“Are all humans this brave?” – AnJoan asked.

“Only Russians.”

– and AnJoan could do nothing but smile.

“What about disgust? Don’t you feel disgust in my presence? After all, I do look like a monster.”

“Dis-gust?” Why wud I feel zat? You are simply a different species, not a monster. Who knows, meby I look like a monster to you!”

“That Vulcan bastard has good taste, that – I must say. All that I ever liked belongs to him.”

“Yes”, Chekov agreed innocently.

Grey sat on the Captain’s chair, while Pavel took the helm and separated the ship from space-dock.

“Where wud you like to go, your Majesty?”

“Let’s have a look at the Nym’Thara nebula, it is 50 light years off the port bow. It is beautiful.”

“Warp 5!” – Chekov announced enthusiastically and engaged engines.

“I was supposed to indicate the speed, young one!”

“Oooo, s-sorry! I didn’t realize you wanted to – to pley with me.”

“You are a joy to play with.”

“Senk you! So are you. I mean, perhaps I shudn’t hev said that to an Emperor?”

“You always talk this much?”

“Ooo, no. I generally talk much more.”

“Reman Gods help me! Why?”

“To practice Standard English. Is a very difficult language. Especially ze pronunciation! Zey have no rules, you must learn everything by heart. Russian is much simpler.”

“So I’ve heard. Say something in Russian!”

“Um, lemy think… Я вас любил так искренно, так нежно, Как дай вам бог любимой быть другим.”

“It sounds beautiful. What did you say?”

“Is from ze poet Alexandr Pushkin: _I loved you with such tenderness and candor / And pray God grants you to be loved that way again_.”

“Very nice. You must have a huge memory, young one.”

“Yes, huge.”

“Not to speak of modesty. Pay attention, drop out of Warp, we are passing through a field of asteroids.”

“Yes, Keptin. I mean – your Majesty.”

He dropped out of warp and prepared to adjust speed when he felt something changing within himself.

He got out of the chair and looked at the Reman, his eyes full of panic.

“What is it?” – Grey asked.

“Ze… _bond_ – with Commander Spock – I don’t feel it enymor!”

“Perhaps he’s sleeping.”

“Nono! Is vanished!”

The panic started to build even more.

“I think he mey be dead!”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions. I am contacting the Enterprise.”

“Your Majesty!” – Kirk said on an affable, pleasant tone. “A pleasure to see you again.”

“James Kirk” – said Grey. “I am with the young Pavel Chekov here and he thinks your Commander Spock may be in danger. Is he aboard the ship?”

“Hello Keptin, please do you know enything?”

“Hello Mr. Chekov. We had to rendezvous with them a couple of hours ago but we had an emergency course deviation to deliver some supplies. We are on orbit to Velara IV. What makes you think they are in trouble?”

“I don’t feel ze _bond_ enymore.“

“Provide me with their last known location, Kirk.” – Grey said.

Kirk sent the coordinates.

“Their life signs are not registering.” – he said and worry started to grow – we are 2 hours away, your Majesty. My sensors indicate that you are close to their location. Can you take a look?”

“Is Leonard with him too?”

“Yes. They’re always together.”

“So I gathered. Enterprise, we are on our way. Meet us soon, we may need help.”

“Understood. Kirk out.”

Chekov had already plotted the course.

He felt sick, very sick.

“ETA 4 minits” – he announced.

“Try to be calm, young one. Whatever it is, it’s already happened.”

They found the shuttle adrift a few kilometers away from M22.

“I’m byming aboard!!”

“No, you’re not. I am beaming the survivor aboard.”

“Survivor?”

“One survivor, life signs very faint.”

Chekov’s heart sank when Spock’s inert body materialized on their bridge. He rushed to him.

Grey deposed a medical kit on the floor.

“He’s not dead, Pavel. He is unconscious. Looks like he received a blow to his head.”

“If he is not dead, zat means ze Doctor is still alive too.”

“I’m scanning. Can you look inside his mind? See what the hell happened?”

“His mind is – gone”, said Chekov – and he was crying. And enyweis only a Vulcan can start a mind meld.”

“You did this before too, remember! I saw you – when Kirk first separated them and they both crashed. I was in Sickbay.”

“Yes but then ze Commander transmitted me ze meld points. He used me like a passage to get to ze Doctor’s mind.”

“Well, you are his son, yes?”

“No. Yes.”

“Yes or no?”

“Yesyes.”

“Then try. There is nothing to lose.”

“I donnow where arr ze psi points.”

Grey knelt on the floor near them. He took Chekov’s hand and placed it on Spock’s face – arranging his fingers on the psi points.

“This should be it.”

“How do you know?”

“Your Vulcan melded with me once. I remember the positions. However I don’t know what must be done next.”

Pavel closed his eyes and tried to concentrate, imagining a long corridor that tied his mind to Spock’s. He tried to walk on that corridor and suddenly he felt a thick darkness embracing him. There was a voice in the dark – whispering a single word – _Leonard_ –

 _You must come back_ – Pavel tried to say. _You must come back and help me find Leonard. Please. You must come back. Follow my voice okey?_

“Keep doing whatever it is that you’re doing, because life signs are stabilizing.” – Grey told him.

_Come back. You can’t stay in zis darkness. You open your eyes okey? I love you. I love you very much. You are my Father you know? Please? And we go look for Leonard. He is alive._

Spock opened his eyes, everything was spinning and his heart was racing.

“Cordrazine we hev?”

The Reman looked through the med-kit.

“Is this it?”

“Yes yes, lemme.”

He filled a syringe, looked for Spock’s heart and injected it vertically.

“Is there anything you actually don’t know how to do?” – Grey asked with sincere admiration, as Spock’s heart rate was normalizing.

“I seen zis before, and I was with them in the operating room when zey saved your life.”

“You and the Vulcan were in the operating room?”

“Yes. Doktor McCoy can’t work without him.”

Spock grabbed Chekov’s wrist.

“Where – is – Leonard”?

“We don’t know, Commander… we need you to tell what happened! Please don’t move too much.”

Chekov was still holding him in his arms on the floor.

“Pavel… who else is here? Where are we?”

“We are ze three of us. You, me and His Majesty AnJoan Grey.”

“Oh, no.”

“Is our friend!”

“That will take some convincing” – Grey said. “There is no time to lose. Who attacked you?”

“A Jem’Hadar patrol. They took Leonard because of the rumors regarding the Phage vaccine.”

“Then they will not kill him. I am scanning for residual energy.”

“You don’t understand – Leonard can’t be away from me – “

“It’s long since I’ve figured that out, Commander.”

“ – and he is injured! Both his hands are broken.”

“Wow, who the hell did that!”

“I did.”

“Well, you’re an idiot.”

Chekov held Spock tighter as he sensed the wave of rage.

“Nono,” – he told him. “Don’t upset. Priority is to get Doktor McCoy.”

_Why is he helping?_

_He is my friend._

“Help me get up, Pavel.”

“Stay right there, Commander” – AnJoan ordered. You are too badly injured to help me. Focus and tell me if you can sense him. Your Enterprise will also be here soon.”

Spock relaxed in Chekov’s arms. He closed his eyes, scanning around with his telepathic mental fingers.

“Ze Doctor is conscious or not?”

“Not conscious.”

“Ze _bond_ is – ?“

“Collapsed.”

“He will die?”

“We will both die, Pavel…”

The young man wrapped his arms even more tightly around Spock’s waist.

“I will not let you.” – he said on a resolute tone. “I love you very much.”

Spock put his hand over Chekov’s.

“On intercept course with Jem’Hadar patrol ship” – Grey announced. “Focus now, my Vulcan friend. Is Leonard on that ship?”

Spock closed his eyes for a moment.

“He is,” – he whispered.

“Good. Now let me pay that life debt to him.”

He increased speed to maximum warp and intercepted the Jem’Hadar ship. He targeted their shields and weapons and fired.

He locked on to the only human life-form aboard that ship and engaged the transporter, while his scanner showed five other enemy ships approaching.

“Enterprise. Hurry the hell up,” he transmitted in a not-so-imperial tone. “I got your people and they need help – and so am I.”

Chekov had already rushed to Leonard and pulled him near Spock. He was unconscious but did not seem injured. He knelt near them and started taking tricorder readings.

“Enterprays!” – he yelled in the comm system. “Hev medical teams stand-by and bring Vulcan healer. Repeat, bring Vulcan healer.”

“Acknowledged.” – Uhura replied.

Spock took Leonard in his arms with obvious, heartbreaking despair. He placed his fingers on Leonard’s both cheeks and went deep into the darkness that he knew so well.

Noting was happening.

“The _bond_ has deteriorated too much…” he whispered.

Chekov dropped the tricorder out of his hand.

“Ze Doctor is strong, try again.” – he said an he felt a cold shiver when he saw Spock’s eyes – there was death in them.

Spock tried, and tried – nothing was changing and Leonard was drifting farther and farther away from life.

“Meby you should kiss him” – Chekov suggested. “I saw this memory in your mind, very powerful.”

Chekov’s suggestion was strange but he was ready to try anything.

He pressed his lips on Leonard’s on a kiss so full of love, passion and desperation that Chekov covered his face and started to cry. Spock’s heart-rate accelerated again when he felt Leonard faintly responding to his kiss. The _bond_ burst back to life, its light erratic but strong, nevertheless – and Spock held Leonard tight, his fingers again locked on his face, pulling him back from the abyss.

 

**Story by AJG**

For the next chapter, prepare tissues, pills and/or alcohol.

It will be tomorrow (Star date 2015.05.06)

P.S: Isn't Chekov **awesome**? That Vulcan bastard surely has good taste.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parted from me and never parted…

Spock opened his eyes and waited for the reality to recompose itself. He recognized the Sickbay ceiling and the soft beeps of the life support monitor. He felt something heavy covering half of him. He touched that heaviness with his left hand and realized – it was Leonard. Leonard was lying on his chest with his head on Spock’s shoulder. He seemed unconscious but he was breathing regularly and the _bond_ was there, strong, alive. He wrapped his arms around him and buried his face into his black hair – and for the second time in his life he felt tears emerging from his eyes.

A few seconds later, he felt two people approaching and raised his head – to his astonishment, he saw Jim and… T’Pau.

“Your Reverence” – he whispered. “What – are you doing here?”

“Your good Captain brought me at once. May I?” – she said, reaching out her hand to touch Spock’s face.

“Yes, please, your Reverence.”

She touched placed her long fingers on the Vulcan’s face and touched the _bond_ with her mind. It was healing. She broke the meld gently after a few seconds.

“You are out of danger, Spock, son of Sarek.”

“And… Leonard?”

“Him too.”

“What – happened? Jim?”

“You fell unconscious as soon as we beamed you guys aboard. Chekov said that you must stay close to one another and we placed Bones in your arms. You would not let him go afterwards so we could not really treat all your injuries. Chekov had already said that your _bond_ with Bones was fading away – so Lady T’Pau was summoned here.”

“Thank you… how did Pavel know? He saved both our lives.”

“Well, um… perhaps Lady T’Pau could explain?”

“The young man melded with you – apparently he can do that as good as any Vulcan. I would say he is… almost Vulcan. When I arrived, your _bond_ with Leonard McCoy was almost non-existent, so I rebuilt it. Look for yourself.”

Spock eagerly touched Leonard’s face, hungrily diving into that mind that was his entire happiness. There was peace and brightness; Leonard was dreaming.

“He’s sleeping, Spock. He is in deep REM sleep. M’Benga said he’s alight.” – Jim explained.

“What of his hands?”

“Fixed. How did THAT happen?”

“I do not want to think about that. Please, Captain… ambassadorial quarters for her Reverence T’Pau?”

“Been taken care of. Don’t worry. And you’re off duty for – um… as long as Bones says when he wakes up.”

“What about Pavel – where is he now?”

“He has his final piloting evaluation. He’ll be back soon.”

“And I advise you, Spock” – T’Pau added – “to take very good care of that young man. Full parental bond. Sarek has already approved.”

“Yes, your Reverence.”

T’Pau left; Jim looked at them with unhidden love.

Spock held Leonard tighter.

Jim smiled warmly.

“No one’s taking him from you. I promise.”

“Jim… is it true that – you have romantic feelings for me?”

“Don’t worry, Spock. I know my place in your life.”

“…because I can not – “

“It’s obvious, okay? Don’t worry. You’ll always be my best friends – both of you.”

“Thank you, Jim… oh and – do you have a ritual book?”

“A-what?”

“A ritual book for Terran ceremonies.”

“Yeah, why?”

“Because you should rehearse the marriage ritual a bit.”

“The – marriage – ritual. I need to sit down.”

“It was Leonard’s idea.”

“Bones – asked you to marry him?”

“Yes.”

“… and you said…”

“Yes. I mean, I did not actually say _yes_ at that time – but there is no way I am ever going to let someone – or something – separate us. Not even Starfleet.”

“Well then!” – Jim straightened his back. “I’ll go rehearse. But first, I’ll go get drunk.”

“Jim… please send Uhura down?”

“I’d rather not. And you’d better not. T’Pau and Chekov explained everything to her.”

“How did she take the news?”

“Well, um… I won’t schedule you any shifts together for a while.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t worry about it, though. She already found a replacement – so you’re good.”

“A _replacement_?”

“Yeah… well… you know… nevermind. And take care of that kid when he gets back.”

“Pavel?”

“Yeah. He’s done incredible things. He adores the air that you breathe.”

 

Leonard explored the surroundings with his hands before opening his eyes. He felt a Starfleet shirt, a strong chest that he was actually lying on, five fingers resting firmly on his face, an arm in their continuation, a shoulder, a thin neck, the contour of a beautiful face, one pointy-ear, a thick, silky hair.

“I love you.” – he said – and only afterwards he opened his eyes.

Spock turned over him and kissed him violently, deeply, as if he wanted to kiss his soul.

“Say after me, Leonard: _Parted from me and never parted…”_

Leonard looked into his still-dark, deadly eyes – with surprise.

“What…”

“Say it, Leonard.” – and the tone left no place for further arguments.

“Parted from me and never parted…”

“ _Never and always touching and touched…”_

“Never and always touching and touched” – Leonard repeated, and felt his soul filling with something new, something he had never felt before, a tree growing, his roots deep inside him, and it was painful and immense like life itself.

_“… I am claimed by you as your bonded mate…”_

_“_ I am claimed by you as your… bonded mate…”

Leonard’s eyes filled with tears.

_“I accept the claim. I am yours.”_

“I accept the claim. I am yours.”

Spock changed the configuration of his fingers on Leonard’s face and completed the marriage bond.

Leonard put his hand over Spock’s, turned his head slowly to the right and kissed all his fingers one by one. Spock closed his eyes, the moment was almost too intense for him – even for him. He kissed him a few more times – Leonard was absolutely speechless.

“This is not over” – Spock whispered. Then, he took his communicator.

“Spock to the Captain.”

“Kirk here.”

“Come – now.”

“I am on my way.”

Jim arrived in a few minutes, he was wearing his dress uniform and Scotty was right behind him.

“What’s going on?” – Leonard asked

“Hi Bones, you okay?”

“Yeah, I mean… dunno… what’s going on? Spock?”

“Please proceed, Captain.”

Leonard was still in Spock’s arms – who was holding him tightly, possessively, not letting him move one inch.

Jim smiled, he opened the large book that he’d kept under his arm and looked at Leonard:

“Leonard Horatio McCoy, do you take Spock, son of Sarek as your husband, in happiness and with patience and understanding, through conflict and tranquility, now and forevermore?”

Leonard’s heart was racing and he had the distinct feeling he will soon faint. He held Spock’s hand tight:

“I do…”

“Spock, son of Sarek, do you take Leonard Horatio McCoy as your husband, in happiness and with patience and understanding, through conflict and tranquility, now and forevermore?”

“I do.”

“In my presence as Captain of the Federation Starship Enterprise and in the presence of the witness Montgomery Scott, you have exchanged vows and made promises. Therefore it is with great joy that I now pronounce you married.”

Jim closed the book slowly and came closer to them, smiling.

“Now will you let him go for a second?”

“No.” – said Spock on a definitive tone.

“Okay, um, you really need to get up, so that we can sign your marriage certificate…”

“Oh. Very well.”

Spock helped Leonard get up – they’ve been on that bed for so many hours that they could barely move anymore.

Jim gave them a certificate to sign – printed on real paper, to Leonard’s surprise.

“This is beautiful!” – he exclaimed. “Are there any more surprises for today?”

“Actually – there are”, Jim said and gave Spock a box. “Since you are practically, how should I say, glued to each other, I picked your wedding rings for you. White Terran gold. Will you do the honors, Spock?”

“I am not familiar with this custom, what must I do?”

“Just put the ring on his finger.”

Spock complied – took the ring, took Leonard’s hand with the same possessive gestures – and slid it on his finger.

“Bones, you know what to do.”

Leonard admired his hand for a moment, almost not believing what was happening. Then he took the second ring from the box and looked into Spock’s eyes.

“May I please have your right hand?” _– My love –_

Spock gave him his hand, and Leonard put the ring on.

They were all silent, and the air was made of happiness.

“Now, gentlemen, all being said and done, I’ll have to ask Bones to get into the CMO mode and advise if you guys can leave Sickbay. You are off duty both of you.”

“Until when?” – Leonard asked as he was already scanning Spock with the tricorder and then himself.

“Until you decide you’re both ready for duty. Not more than a week though, if you please.”

“Okay Jim. Thanks for everything.”

 

They left to Leonard’s quarters – the doctor looked back to the Sickbay, still in disbelief.

“Just got married in the most awesome place in the universe”, he said.

“I thought as much.”

He opened the door and they went inside Leonard’s quarters that were crammed with books.

“You will never cease to surprise me, Leonard McCoy” – Spock said, while reading the titles of the books piled in dangerously unstable columns and trying not to disturb anything. “But you will have to clean.”

“It’s perfectly clean.”

“Let me rephrase: you will have to put some order in this… library?”

Leonard wrapped his arms around Spock’s waist, from behind.

“Perhaps later…?”

Spock turned towards him, his eyes were burning. He grabbed him by his blue shirt and pushed him on the bed, kissing him fiercely, biting him, wanting to touch every inch of him. He ripped his clothes with a sudden gesture and when Leonard tried to wrap his arms around his neck, Spock pinned his hands above his head.

“You will let me – “ he said, kissing him after every word – “do all I want…” – Spock removed his own clothes in a matter of seconds – “you are mine!”

Leonard felt the overwhelming passion through the _bond_ – it was beyond any of Spock’s powers to control.

_Do all you want –_ his own mind, his body, everything was burning.

“Give me – everything”, Spock said with a broken voice, his fingers on the meld points – and he took him – with force, with violence, with a desire so fierce that reason started to darken and eventually vanished completely.

 

Leonard was slowly kissing his fingers when he opened his eyes. He turned towards him and smiled – it was the second time Leonard was seeing him smile.

“Have I injured you?”

“Let’s just say… I now have a pretty good idea about how strong you are.”

“It is like this…”

“All the time?”

“No… just the first time. When a Vulcan claims his mate – the first encounter is always violent.”

“Oh”, said Leonard, somehow disappointed.

“But I do have the distinct feeling” – Spock added and rolled over him – “that being with you will always feel like the first time.”

“That was such a romanti-“

“Be silent, Leonard.”

But this time the violence was well under control and he loved Leonard for a long time, in a slow pace, until they both collapsed with exhaustion.

 

Leonard ran his fingers through Spock’s hair, gently. He leaned over him and kissed his neck, advancing towards his ears.

“Mmm…” – Spock purred, stretching like a cat, with his arms under a pillow.

“What an illogical thing to say”, Leonard whispered into his ear and bit his earlobe, gently. Then he continued to kiss his neck. “I’m gonna leave you marks.”

“Very well, continue”, Spock said in a very contented tone.

“What – will – your subordinates – say – when they see – marks on your - neck?” Leonard asked, biting him after every word.

“Do not care much.”

“Oh! Really! You’re starting to think like a human after all...”

“There is no need for insults.”

Leonard giggled and leaned over him to kiss his lips.

“No longer in a possessive mood?” – Leonard wanted to know.

“Not for the next 5.32 minutes.”

“Oh! Oh good, that’s very precise of you.”

Leonard lay on one side near him, gazing at him with bright eyes.

Spock gently placed his hand on Leonard’s face, with the beginning of a smile on his lips. When their minds touched, Leonard felt as if he was being embraced from inside and outside at the same time, wrapped in protective warmth and safety and he felt that every inch of him belonged to Spock.

**Story by AJG**

**Final Chapter on Friday (Stardate 2015.05.08)**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The marriage vows are Buddhist, if you were wondering.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A heart to love, and in that heart, Courage…"  
> Macbeth

“Kirk to Bones. Bones! Bones? Are you there, guys?”

Leonard reached out his hand to pick up the communicator from the nightstand but smashed it down instead, together with an unstable pile of books and two tricorders. Spock pulled the blanket over his head as if he wanted to hide from the noise.

Leonard took Spock’s communicator but Spock promptly took it off his hand and put it away.

“Hey, I was gonna use that!”

“You may not use my communicator”, Spock stated on a sleepy tone.

“Why not??”

“Because it is mine.”

“Damn possessive hobgoblin.”

Leonard finally reached his own communicator under the nightstand and sat on the margin of the bed to talk.

“Yeah, Jim?”

“Wow, it took you a while.”

“Well, um, it was… nevermind. What is it?”

Spock went closer to Leonard on the bed, like a predator, and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him back.

“Well” – Jim said – “It’s been six days since I’ve seen either of you and I kinda’ miss you guys, plus there is someone coming aboard and both your presences are necessary, plus I really need my First Officer on the Bridge. Please?”

“Um…”

“At 14:00, gentlemen. And Spock – dress uniform!! I know you can hear me.”

Leonard started to laugh, but Spock bit his neck hard.

“At 14:00 – where?”- Leonard asked, trying really hard not to giggle.

“Transporter room one! Dress uni-“

“Okay, thanks, bye, Jim!” – and then he turned towards Spock: “You – are – bad!”

“Very”, Spock agreed and proceeded to show him just how bad he was.

 

“Oh, sit down”, Leonard said and started to fix the bruises on Spock’s neck with the dermal regenerator.

Spock complied while Leonard was back into the Angry-Doctor Mode.

“Why are you nervous, Leonard?”

“Because I don’t wanna go outside this room.”

“Me neither.”

“’Cause if – before – I needed to be in the same room with you, now I need to be in, like, a 5-inches range near you.”

“Computer, time?”

“The Time is 13:30.”

“Are you done, Leonard?”

“Yeah, I guess. Why?”

“Because I wish to explain a few things to you.”

“Okay…”

Spock went to the couch.

“Come here.”

Leonard quickly recognized the commanding tones in his voice and his soul twisted a bit. He never forgot that obeying Spock’s every word was a matter of life and death. He went and sat down near him.

Spock took his hand – he also could not bear not to touch him.

“The next days will be difficult. It is obvious that we cannot maintain physical contact outside this room and the time when we shall be separated is close. Meaning, I will be on away missions, or on the Bridge, and you – in Sickbay. We will have to endure it.”

“It… will be bad, won’t it?”

“Yes, it will. At the beginning I will keep both our _bonds_ fully open so we shall be aware of each other all the time. But while this will be beneficial for us, it will exhaust me completely…”

“Why?”

“Because it requires that I keep my mental shields down at all times – “

“…and as you’re a telepath…”

“… I will perceive everyone else’s emotions and thoughts as well.”

“Oh. Ooooh! That is awful.”

“Indeed.”

“Listen, Spock, keep your shields up then. We’ll have to be strong and… adapt.”

“It is not that easy. Separation is like breaking free from an addiction. There are physical symptoms… We shall see. Another very important thing, Leonard… try to avoid touching – and being touched by – other people, with the only exception of Pavel Chekov.”

“Uh, why?”

“It may be dangerous for them. If I am in a – let’s say – dark mood, and I’ll explain later what that means – I may perceive this as a threat and – you do not want that.”

“I wasn’t aware that Vulcans can be in dark moods.”

“It happens… once in a while.”

“Spock, but I am a doctor. I touch people all the time.”

“That is not what I mean.”

“Wait, are you… um… jealous?”

“I am.”

“So if Jim puts his hand on my arm while we walk down the corridor…”

“There are chances that I break Jim’s hand.”

“Oooh. But why? Do you doubt – me?”

“I do not.”

“Then??”

“I will explain more tonight. Now it is time to go.”

 

As they went towards the transporter room, Leonard felt something like a terrible thirst growing inside him, painful and sharp. All he wanted to do was to touch Spock.

“Wow.” – he mumbled unhappily.

“I know.”

“So, your shields are up or down now?”

“Down.”

“Can we hold hands?”

“Certainly not.”

“Damn.”

Jim was already in the transporter room, together with Scotty and other officers. He greeted them with a smile.

“So who’s coming?” – Leonard wanted to know.

“Someone you’ll be happy to see, and someone you won’t be happy to see.”

Spock and Leonard exchanged a worried look.

“Energize!”

Two silhouettes materialized on the pad and they all recognized AnJoan Grey, with a scepter and a beautiful black pelerine, and Pavel Chekov.

Jim greeted Grey ceremoniously, according to the Starfleet protocol; the Reman passed between the officers and saluted every one of them, stopping in front of Leonard.

“Doctor, my dear friend.”

“Greetings.” – Leonard managed to say between his teeth, aware that Spock was watching intensely.

Grey raised his hand to touch Leonard’s face, but Leonard smiled dangerously. He could not take a step back as it would have been considered rude. Instead, he said:

 “Still want that vaccine?”

“Affirmative.”

“Then stay – the fuck – away from me. Your Majesty.”

Grey let his hand down.

“What a temper… and what a pity…”

Grey advanced, greeted Spock with a rigid nod and waited for Kirk.

“Official dinner tonight, gentlemen,” Kirk announced and before he went to offer Grey a tour of the Enterprise, he stopped near Leonard.

“Bones, what the hell?”

“What?” – he asked innocently.

“Whadya tell him?”

“Only sweet things.”

“And here I thought that Spock would actually tame you, you bad-ass…”

“Love you too, Jim.” – Leonard added, hands behind his back in an impeccable officer posture.

Jim stopped for a moment in front of Spock:

“Take care of that kid over there for me, Commander” – and he pointed towards Chekov who was still on the platform.

Pavel Chekov stepped down from the transporter and approached Spock and Leonard timidly – he was trembling.

“Whoa, kid, wassa matter?” Leonard pulled out the tricorder and performed a quick scan.

“I don’t not feel not good, Doctor McKoy!”

“That’s a lot of negations, kid. What happened?”

Pavel looked at Spock – who was a few feet away.

“Oh.” – Leonard whispered. “Go to him, come on.”

But as Pavel could not even move, Leonard took his arm and led him to Spock.

“Kommander, hello.”

“Hello, Pavel, are you not feeling well?”

“Of course he’s not feeling well,” Leonard added. Come on, we’re going somewhere private.”

“Doctor?”

“What, you want a diagnostic? He’s love-sick.”

Pavel blushed violently but Spock looked deeply into his eyes:

“You have… missed me?”

“No, I… yes.”

Leonard took Chekov’s right arm and Spock’s left arm and dragged them along to his private office in Sickbay. Spock sat on the couch and invited Chekov to sit near him – which the young man did, timidly.

“Meld with me”, Spock said.

“Me? You mean…”

“I want you to initiate the meld, yes. I wish to see how you accomplish this.”

Chekov reached out his delicate hand and touched Spock’s face, gently, finding the psi points from the first attempt. Then he imagined the long corridor and walked on it until he reached Spock’s powerful mind.

“Fascinating”, Spock said and he wrapped the young man in love, in gratitude and unhidden pride, showing him how important he was and what a huge place he had in his life. With a gentle gesture he removed Pavel’s hand from his face.

“May I?”

“Yyes, Kommander, enything!

Spock touched his face and initiated the maturing of the parental _bond_ , to Chekov’s immense surprise. The _bond_ Spock had previously created with him had been a light one, just enough to be aware of each other’s presence and to be able to communicate telepathically. Now, the _bond_ grew larger, went deeper, as a flower that was blooming.

“You shall for ever be my son”, Spock said in a low voice.

“Thank… you” – he whispered, and tears were falling on his cheeks.

“Which means…” – Spock added with the beginning of a smile as he removed his hand – “no more alcohol, young man!”

“No more Wodka?”

“Not until you are 40 years old. According to the Vulcan law, you are a minor until that age.”

“But – “

“Now let me hear you say _Yes, Father._ ”

“Yes… Father” – and his heart beat faster.

 

The dinner was unbearably long. Spock was an impeccable diplomat – which Leonard was not – and did not plan to become one anyways. He was chatting with various colleagues and trying to stop Jim from eating too many French fries, which was always a difficult task.

At times, his eyes would meet Spock’s and he felt safe; he belonged to that beautiful Being and the feeling was painful, sharply painful; the mere thought that he had willingly given his life to Spock was splitting his soul in half with emotion; yet he didn’t have the feeling he was in any danger. Spock didn’t plan to treat him as a King treated his Subjects; didn’t plan to abuse of his dominant position in their relationship. Leonard knew that; it had been his own choice to kneel in front of Spock in the Katric Ark; his own choice to say _I swear_ ; his own choice to name Spock his _Master_ , while he remained Leonard McCoy – an untamed beast. In Spock’s hands, he was compliant, submissive, a doll. And it felt good. It felt good because Spock wanted all of him: his body, his mind, his erratic emotions, his talent for medicine, his moments of depression, his qualities and his flaws; Spock didn’t select and didn’t try to transform; he wanted everything. And thus he deserved to have everything.

“Doctor, my beautiful friend.”

“Huh? You startled me.”

He had managed to avoid AnJoan Grey most of the evening. Well, not anymore.

The Reman had both his hands on the heavy scepter, in a gesture that meant _I am not going to touch you._

“Enjoying the evening?”

“Not much.”

“You certainly are no diplomat.”

“I hate diplomacy.”

“That is rather obvious. I was hoping we could be friends after all.”

“Thank you, but no.”

“You are very stubborn, my beautiful doctor.”

“Stop calling me _beautiful_ , okay?” – Leonard grinned.

“Beautiful and bad, very bad. How does _He_ manage to control you?”

“ _He_ is very talented.”

“So I’ve heard. So after all we’ve been through, you still refuse me your friendship.”

“Yes. Sorry.”

He felt Spock watching them and all he wanted was to distance himself from the Reman.

“Why?” – Grey asked with sincere curiosity.

“Dammit man! – Leonard snapped. “You tried to kill me, _Him_ – and you wanted to blow my entire ship up! I performed surgery on you because _He_ wanted! Not because I was eager to save you. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a doctor and all life is sacred to me – but my first duty is to my ship. Don’t expect me not to resent you after what you’ve done.”

_Leonard?_

“I did try to fix my mistakes, Doctor.”

“Perhaps you did. But if you want my forgiveness, you need to wait.”

“For how long?”

“Forfuckingever! Why the fuck am I so important to you anyways?”

“You simply are. You are an exceptional human being and I am everything but blind.”

“Thanks. But no.”

_Leonard…_

“What if your Vulcan asked you to at least try?”

_Yes, Spock?_

“Good luck with that.”

“There is little I would not do for your friendship, Leonard McCoy. So you will be hearing from me again.”

“That – I do not doubt.”

_What does he want, Leonard?_

_Wants to be friends. You think you could help?_

Spock went to Jim and said a few words, to which Jim nodded in approval. Then, he casually touched Pavel’s hand – and then he came to them.

“Just the person I was looking forward to see” – AnJoan Grey said.

But Spock only glared at Grey with dark eyes:

“If you’ll excuse us. Good night.”

He then grabbed Leonard’s arm in a tight grip and dragged him along.

 

The minute they entered Leonard’s quarters, Spock pushed him into a wall and kissed him violently, for what seemed like an eternity, holding his wrists with one hand.

“Spock…” – he managed to whisper. “Are you – mad at me?”

“No. Cease speaking.” – and with that, he pushed him on the bed, undressed him and loved him for many hours, until they both reached a certain level of saturation and collapsed on the tangled sheets.

It was 3:30 in the morning; they were lying on the bed, looking at each other without speaking. Spock’s eyes were bright, sharp and powerful. He took Leonard’s hand into his and held it for a while.

Leonard knew that this was one of the times when Spock wanted total control – he didn’t move out of his own will, he didn’t speak (Spock required total silence during their intimate encounters), he didn’t even put one fingertip over Spock’s body. Spock needed that; he needed Leonard’s submission as he needed oxygen to survive. And Leonard was ready to give him anything he ever needed and wanted.

“I wish to tell you something, Leonard.”

“What…?” – he whispered.

“When the Enterprise got stranded in the Gamma Quadrant, and I realized that I was – as you humans put it – _stuck_ with you, it deeply disturbed me. You talked too much, your actions were erratic, you contradicted everything I say. When I first bonded our minds, I expected you to fight back, to reject the _bond_ , to reject – _me_ … the fact that you did not – made me want you – really want you for myself. And I’ve grown to want you so much that it became unbearable. I can clearly see now the distance you put between yourself and others – even Jim. You don’t let anyone in… but you opened yourself completely to me. It is a very precious gift. And the more you give yourself to me, the more I want you, Leonard. What I wish to tell you – is that _I love you_ , deeply, and with all that I am.”

Leonard pressed his lips on Spock’s hand; his eyes were filled with tears, his soul – trembling –

“A heart to love, and in that heart, Courage…” – he whispered.

And it was the truth.

 

***

 

_I wish to thank you very much for reading this story. It is written with all my heart and with a lot of love. You have provided me with wonderful feedback and encouraged me. These are the most important rewards of any fan-fiction writer. My deepest gratitude!_

_Because many of you asked for a sequel, I have planned a Part II which will consist of a series of one-shots – just to see their relationship grow. If you think this is a good idea, I’ll get to work._

_Also, I will start a new story on Monday, May 11, on my birthday. I wanted to do something special, so I will start a new story and a new musical composition (I’m a musician). The topic of the story will be…what else… Spock / Leonard! – again, a dominance / submission relationship. I am not done exploring this subject (will I ever?). So, I hope we will remain great friends; we can also meet on Facebook if you want._

_<https://www.facebook.com/pages/AnJoan-Grey/1396337104020854> _

_See you all very soon. I love you very much!_

**AnJoan Grey**

**Author's Note:**

> Pictures and character are property of Paramount.  
> Story by AnJoan Grey


End file.
